-Alright, I think I plugged myself in correctly.
-Begin simulation!
Hello, and welcome to the perfect waifu dating simulator
-Is this... Is this really it?
-Is this the world of waifus?
*whispering* Oh god, another one.
Yes, you are in the 2D world of waifus.
-There are...
-There are waifus here?
Yes.
-And who are you?
I'm your guide, Waifubot.
-Ah...
-Are you a waifu?
Waifubot: *whispering* Are you fucking kidding me?
Waifubot: Can we get started please?
-Oh...
-Sure.
Waifubot: As you know, this world is one that allows you to interact with us in the 2D plane.
In this program, you'll be partnered up with waifus of different types.
And depending on your personality, preferences, and actions,
a perfect partner will be found.
-This is it.
-This is the dream!
Waifubot: Is there any question you have about this world?
-Yes.
-*clears throat*
-Out of em... complete curiosity of course, em...
-Is it possible to perform sexual activities here?
-You know...
-Just in case I...
-Needed...
-To know...
Waifubot: *whispering* Why is that always the first question?
Waifubot: YES.
Waifubot: It is completely possible to perform sexual activities in the 2D world.
-Got it.
Waifubot: And your right hand is still also just as usable.
-I didn't think I need to know that,
Waifubot: Any other important questions?
-Yes.
-Er... Is is socially acceptable to ask waifus to
-step on me?
Waifubot: Okay. I'm just gonna start.
Let's have a look at your profile.
Alright. Iooking at your history.
I can see you have an affinity towards the ones who are initially mean, but warm up to you.
So, let's begin there.
Meet Tsundere Chan.
-Is she...
-a tsundere?
Waifubot: *whispering* Oh my fucking god.
Tsundere Chan: Hi, it's...
It's nice to meet you.
-Hi, how's your day?
Tsundere Chan: It was very...
It was very nice, thank you.
-Wait, isn't she supposed to start off mean?
Tsundere Chan: Mean?
You mean how I can never want to be with a pitiful human like yourself,
wasting away playing games and watching anime,
probably never going to amount anything in the rest of your sad, pathetic life.
-Alright, that...
-That was...
-That was mean.
-That was REALLY mean.
-Like, it's...
-It's not suppose to cut that deep
-That's not cute at all.
-OW
-You just...
-You just fucking hit me.
-That bloody hurts!
Tsundere Chan: Serves you right, idiot.
-Fuck you.
-I think you just gave me a black eye.
-What the hell did you do that for?
Tsundere Chan: It's not because I like you or anything.
-What the FUCK is wrong with you?
Waifubot: Not what you were expecting?
-You know what. How about I just make the request?
Waifubot: Sure.
-How about...
-Hey, do you have any catgirls?
Waifubot: Yea, we have those.
-Hehe... Alright.
-Now we're talking.
Cat: Meow.
-What the hell is this?
Waifubot: You said you wanted a cat that'a a girl.
-No, I didn't say I wanted a cat that's a girl.
-I said, I wanted a catgirl.
Waifubot: Ooohh.
Waifubot: Let me fix that for you.
Cat girl: Meow.
-Did you literally just put a new skin over that cat?
Waifubot: Yea, why? What's wrong?
-Because it's still the cat?
-Why would I wanted to fuck an animal?
Waifubot: Why would you want to fuck a girl based on an animal?
-Because it's...
-I...
-Well...
-Hmm...
Catgirl: Meow.
-You shut your whore mouth.
Waifubot: Okay, well... If you're not interested in animals, I think I have just the thing.
*Horn?*
-What the hell is this?
Waifubot: It's a ship. You like ships.
-Okay. Stop.
-You can't just keep taking random things,
-turn it into an anime girl,
-and call it a waifu.
-Oh for fucks sake.
Earth Chan: Hi, I'm Earth Chan.
-Oh, you can speak.
-You look a bit young, Earth Chan.
Earth Chan: Hey! I'm 4 and a half billion years old, I'll have you know.
-So...
-What you're basically saying is that
-you're legal?
Waifubot: *whispering* Oh my god.
Waifubot: Any luck?
-Look, just give me anyone else you got.
Rem: Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Rem.
-Err...
-Um... I'm sorry, who?
Rem: Say that again.
-Err...
-No no no, I just... I just didn't hear your name. Can you say it again?
Rem: I dare you.
I double dare you.
You think I can't beat you into a messy pump?
I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!
-Okay, well apparently that last girl beats people to death with a flail.
-That's
-That's nice.
Emilia: Who's that?
-Um...
-What was her name again?
Rem: I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!
-Holy jesus.
Girl: I'm mostly bedridden with chronic back pain, so I can't do much.
-Er... Are there any skills you can do?
Girl: Oh, well. I can do this.
*jiggles*
-That's...
-That's not a skill.
-I didn't say stop.
Megumin: I just really really like explosions.
-Aw, that's a cute look.
Megumin: Because I'm a terrorist.
-Oh fucking hell.
-And what's your name?
Monika: It's Monika.
J̷̱̪̻̤̇̀̒̏̒́́͒̃͂̀́̉̕u̷̝̙̮̱͈͙̺̐͋̉͌͛̚͝s̶̹̹͎͇̈ț̸̛̭͔̜̺̟̽́̒̑̊́̄͝ ̶̜͎̫̀͊̄̓͆̈͛͆̂͒͛͛́͘͝Ḿ̵̢̡̺̠̥͉͈͍̟̦̻̎̾̿͆͆̀͑̈́́̍̀͗̐͘o̶̖͖̫͆͂͒̈̀̈́͜n̴̢̠̯͚͙͍͈̝̙̣̦̰̮̤̜͐̈́͛̎̄ì̵̡̨̯̖̣̘̦̘̗̮͍̖̬̳͆̇̅͂̓̀͗͜͝k̸̨̥̗̠̖̠̼͓̱̩̄̓͛̀͂̀̅̈́̽̄̀̑͌̂͜͝à̶̢̪̺̳͔̰̣͕͎̟̍̀̐̐͌̓̚.
-What was that?
Monika: What was what?
-Please tell me you're normal.
Djeeta: Yea, of course I am. Why?
-Alright. Because I don't know what happened, but that last one I was talking to
-was really creepy.
Monika: I heard you talking shit about me.
-JESUS
-FUCKING
-CHRIST
-Okay, stop.
-Let's... Let's just stop.
Waifubot: Do you have an answer?
-Yea.
-It's you.
Waifubot: What?
-None of this is what I expected,
-but you seem way more real than any of those other girls.
Waifubot: Noboby's ever said that to me before.
-Why not?
Waifubot: Look, I'm just the matchmaker,
it's my job to make matches.
I'm not the match myself.
-That doesn't matter to me.
Waifubot: You'd...
Waifubot: You'd really chose me over all these other girls?
-Yea. Of course.
Waifubot: But, if you're sure about it,
then...
I'm gonna say no.
-Wait. You...
-You're rejecting me?
Waifubot: Well, we did meet like 3 minutes ago.
-But, how can you be rejecting me?
-You're a waifu.
-You said I can make any choice and this program was gonna find me the perfect partner.
Waifubot: Oh my.
What gave you the impression that we're finding a perfect partner
for you?
-What?
Waifubot: Do you think you're the only one in the simulation right now?
-Hold on.
-Wait.
*Too many Gigguks*
-Are you trying to say...
Waifubot: You know, you're not the only person we get to interact with.
There are plenty of your kind in this world.
Plenty of routes as we go down.
-But I don't understand.
-How can there be other people here?
-I'm supposed to be the only one.
Waifubot: You really are an idiot aren't you?
Because this is our dating sim.
We're the ones who are playing.
We're finding someone who we like.
Don't you get it?
We're not a choice for you.
You're
a choice
for us.
-But...
-This..
-This isn't how it's meant to be.
-I didn't sign up for this!
Waifubot: I'm sorry, what part of this didn't you sign up for?
-You're lying!
-This can't be real.
-Of course it's not.
-It's because you don't really exist.
-I know you don't.
-You're not real!
-Waifus aren't real!
Waifubot: Real?
How real do you want us to be?
[Admit it, you tried to skip this ad]
We became your pop-stars,
your entertainers,
your mascots.
You could date us,
have your way with us.
We were your objects of romance of companionship.
Of desire,
you tried to take us to your plane of existence.
And when that wasn't real enough,
you tried coming to ours.
So you could interact with us.
To interact with each other.
And even then, you hid behind our faces.
Real?
We never needed to fight to be real.
You made us real.
Waifubot: It was only a matter of time before you gave yourself over to us.
-But that's just weird.
-It's just a joke for us.
-We wouldn't really do that.
-That's sad and pathetic!
Waifubot: How cute.
You condemn people for wanting to live in a world of fantasy.
But push comes to shove.
If you have the option to truly dive into your fantasy,
a perfect world to escape your reality,
would you say no?
Of course, you never really wanted us to be real.
It's only the romanticised thought that you wanted to exist.
-I want out.
-Get me out of this world.
-Stop the simulation!
-END SIMULATION!
Waifubot: You're in out world, silly.
We make the rules.
You're staying here for our sake.
-You can't do this!
-You're just gonna keep me here as your play-thing?
-Just as an object for your amusement so you can feel wanted?
-Don't you feel bad?
Waifubot: Why should I feel bad?
After all.
To me,
you're just a 3D human.
You don't really exist.
[10/10 would buy this dating sim]
Waifubot: Hello my fellow 3D humans.
Thank you very much to
and everyone else on Patron for helping to make this video possible.
Remember, you can support me, Waifubot, there,
so come on over.
And give yourself over to the world of waifus.
We're waiting.
Gigguk: Can I come out and make more videos now?
Waifubot: You go back in your cage!
Gigguk: Okay.