BARCELONA VS BAYERN MUNICH
It’s The Thomas Muller Comedy Roadshow coming to you live from one of the funniest comedy clubs in the world... Barcelona!
Starring football’s greatest comedian, me!
And not starring football’s greatest magician, Lionel Messi!
And also starring football’s funniest coach, Ronald Koeman!
- Thanks to me, Barcelona has a future! - A future in LaLiga 2...
- What?! - Hahaha! Let the jokes commence!
What do you get if you take 99 away from 100…
Luuk de Jong’s pace stats on FIFA22. Hahaha!
How rude! At least he’s better at heading than Neymar!
Hahaha! That’s a real Ronald quote!
Where do you come up with this stuff, Ronald? You are a true maverick of comedy!
So in the first half I walked up to Eric Garcia and said...
- Hey Eric, I think you’ve got something on your arse… - Have I? What?
A bruise! Hahaha!
That wasn’t the first time I’ve spanked the Arse in the Champions League...
Hahaha! Arsenal!
Hey, Jamal - what do Robert Lewandowski and a plumber have in common?
I don’t know Thomas... what do Robert Lewandowski and a plumber have in common?
They both love a tap-in! Hahaha!
What’s the difference between Sergio Busquests and a bus?
A bus carries a passenger, tonight Sergio was a passenger! Hahaha!
Hey! How dare you boo me! Oh, they’re not. They’re booing Sergio Roberto…
...tough crowd
And now I’ll try out some of my edgier material…
- Hey Philippe Coutinho! - Hey Thomas!
I’m so glad I’ve found you, Phil! You’ve been missing for so long, part of me wondered if you’d gone on holiday with the McCanns
- Too far? - Too far!
Sorry, I swear I won’t go too far again. Just like Barcelona in the Champions League! Hahahaha!
One thing I won’t be making jokes about is mental health…
Jordi, are you okay? You look as though you’re on the edge…
He’s not on the edge! He’s sick! Sick of playing for Barcelona! Hahahaha!
And now my guest star Gerard Pique, he will perform an impression of a footballer…
Can you guess who it is?
Jerome Boateng! Hahahaha! Classic!
And now for some highlights of Barcelona attacking...
And now I have some messages from the fans...
“Thomas, congratulations on a great show tonight. It brought tears to my eyes.”
That’s from Lionel in Paris.
- Hey Robert - Oh, here we go…
Why do I call Dayot Upamecano the 147 Snooker Table?
I don’t know, why do you call Dayot Upamecano the 147 Snooker Table?
Coz his pockets are totally full! Hahaha!
- Come on, that joke doesn’t even work! - Neither do your tactics…
Dick...
- Hey Ronald, what do you and Manchester United have in common? - I don’t care...
You both played a bunch of Young Boys and lost! Hahaha!
- I’m out of here… - You will be soon if you keep playing like that. Hahahaha!
Oh, I’m getting cramps… Oh, I’m getting cramps...
Thanks for watching The Thomas Muller Comedy Roadshow! Barcelona, you were awful. GUTE NACHT!