(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH, I'M EXCITED TO BE HERE.
ON THE "LATE LATE SHOW," I'VE HAD A LOT OF EXCITING THINGS
GOING ON.
I DROPPED MY PHONE TOWARDS A SEWER GRATE AND IT DID NOT GO IN
AND I AM STILL RIDING THAT HIGH!
(APPLAUSE) >> WHEN IT SLIPPED FROM REPLY
HAND I DID MAKE A SOUND I'M NOT PROUD OF.
I WAS LIKE, THAT'S EVERYTHING!
(LAUGHTER) >> AND IT HIT THE SEWER GRATE,
RATTLED AROUND POPPED UP ONTO THE STREET.
I PICKED IT UP, THERE WERE NO CRACKS!
AND I HELD IT TO MY BREAST.
I DON'T KNOW IF I'VE EVER FELT MORE JOY!
IT PLAYED ME THINK WORKING AT THE PHONE STORE MUST BE THE MOST
STRESSFUL JOB IN THE WORLD NOW.
IS EVERYBODY MORE PANICKED THAN EVERY CUSTOMER?
(LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)
>> EVERY THREE SECONDS WELCOME TO THE PHONE STORE HOW MAY I
HELP YOU OR EVERYTHING I KNOW IS GONE!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW I GOT HERE!
(LAUGHTER) >> I JUST STARTED WALKING
(LAUGHTER) >> IT'S BEEN HOURS MAYBE DAYS,
THERE'S NO WAY TO TELL TIME.
(LAUGHTER) >> TRIED TO CALL FLEFN A PAY
PHONE BUT I DIDN'T HAVE MY PHONE TO PAY FOR IT.
PLEASE HELP!
I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING.
I PUT IT IN RICE, THAT WAS EVERYTHING.
HOW WEIRD IS IT THAT WE HAVE SUCH ADVANCE TECHNOLOGY AND ONE
OF THE ONLY FIXES IS RICE!
ONE OF THE MOST ANCIENT FOODS.
LIKE OH, YOU ROBOT'S BROKEN?
DID YOU TRY QUINOA?
WELL, OF COURSE THE ROCKET DIDN'T TAKE OFF.
IT NEEDS PINTO BEANS.
BUT WE MUST BE TRAINED TO DEAL WITH PANIC BECAUSE WHEN I HAD A
REAL ISSUE, THE FRONT LADY HAD VERY COMFORTING WORDS.
SHE SAYS IT'S NOT BROKEN, IT'S POWER-CYCLING.
WHICH MEANS POSITIVE BUT -- WHICH SOUNDS POSITIVE BUT MEANS
BROKEN.
TECHNICAL SPORT IS CALLED, LOOKS LIKE HE WORKS OUT AT THE GYM
WHICH IS NOT GOOD SIGN FOR TECHNICAL SUPPORT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
EVER GET TO A REAL COMPUTER REPAIR STORE?
THEY'RE HUNCHED OVER THE DESK, GIVE IT OVER, ALL RIGHT, HE'S
ANTISOCIAL I TRUST HIM.
HE ROLLED HIS EYES AT ME, THIS IS GETTING FIXED!
BUT THIS PHONE GUY IS CHARMING, HE'S WINKING AT LADIES, I'M
LIKE, THIS PHONE'S GONE!
BUT WHAT I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND IS HOW PEOPLE
FUNCTIONED BEFORE THE LAND LINE PHONE.
AND I MET THIS SWEET OLD LADY.
SHE WAS ROLLED UP NEXT TO ME ON A FLIGHT.
SAT DOWN AND TURNED OME AND STARTED TALKING.
I WAS LIKE, "IS THIS HOW THINGS USED TO BE"?
I HAD TO TAKE OUT MY NOISE CANCELING EAR BUDS.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
I SAID HELLO.
AND SHE WAS NICE AND WE HAD A NICE CHAT AND SHE ENDED UP
TELLING ME THE ROMANTIC STORY OF HOW SHE MET HER HUSBAND.
SHE GOES WELL HE ASKED ME TO DANCE AND I SAID NO.
AND WE GOT MARRIED.
(LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)
>> AND SHE SAID "WELL HE WAS PERSISTENT" YOU I SAID, YOU SAID
YOU DIDN'T HAVE A PHONE.
SHE SAID HE JUST KEPT SHOWING UP AT MY HOUSE UNANNOUNCED.
IS THAT LEGAL?
CAN YOU IMAGINE SAYING NO TO SOMEBODY AT A DANCE, AND THE
NEXT DAY THEY'RE AT YOUR WINDOW.
I FOUND YOU.
WHO AX I?
FROM THE DANCE, REMEMBER YOU SAID NO TO ME!
SO I TRACKED YOU DOWN.
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.
WILL MARRY ME?
NO.
OKAY, I'LL BE BACK.
(APPLAUSE) HEY YOU GUYS I'M JOE ZIMMERMAN,
THANK YOU SO MUCH, I APPRECIATE IT!