Meet Fabrizio Cortell, the main character of Bloodborne.
If you've played Bloodborne and Fabrizio Cortell isn't the main character
then your game is broken and you should bring it back
Look how cool he looks
I'll be cool like you one day Fabrizio, one day.
Sure.
That was, oh.
I was gonna say that was a fast load screen.
Are you serious?
uhh ahh, you know everyone says, that, you know,
that you never, ah, that you always gotta update
you know, you gotta update cuz you never play PS4
Motherfucker I was playing it yesterday!
I left the goddamn thing on!
I came into work today
I sat down to play
I set the whole fucking thing up
I started the video!
I hit play, I was on Fabrizio for fucks sake!
And I needed an update!
I got an update in between
Start new game, and play game
What the shit!
Ay, Fabrizio, he made it.
Uh
Uh, whoo
It was a little touch and go there
I thought we lost him
We didn't lose him
Fabrizio's okay
I take it all back Sony
The Playstation's great
It works fine
Whoo
This is awesome too because he didn't even have the hood up
In the menu I threw the hood up
cuz I'm trying to look more like Fabrizio
even though it's not possible, he's just got way too much swagger for me
But then they put the hood up in the game
It's like they knew, dude, I'm Fabrizio, wait
Do we look alike?
Like, is my head next to his head, wait, I'll point him this way
And so is this supposed to be like Dark Souls, I guess?
Like where you die a lot?
Great, I love that, my health does not look good
Oh, I did six damage though, that's great
Fabrizio!
Ah, no, he's not dead yet
No, get up
Oh, yeah, he's dead
He's a pile of dust
Swell, he looks like he's wearing a Halloween costume
For a child
Let's see, we got a cleaver, we got a cane
We got an axe, I feel like he'd use a cane because his name is Fabrizio
and he looks like a magician
But it looks like the cane sucks
Fuck it, let's go with the cane
We're Fabrizio Martell, right?
Alright, I got a whip cane thing
I got the gun
I'm gonna go fucking shoot that thing in the face
that killed me 45 minutes ago
Whip your ass
Fucking rat shit
Oh fucking 46, eat dog shit
You dog
I fucking killed the thing?
Hell yeah I killed the thing
Gimme your bits
Yeah, give me your fucking blood bits
I got a blood vial, whoa
Who knew? You can do it Fabrizio
Fabrizio
The odd part too
Fabrizio, he's German
Really weird
No, stay down, stay down, I'll cane ya, oh okay the cane does way more fucking damage
Holy crap
Dude, get fucking caned in the gut
64 damage? Holy shit
I'm tearing people apart with this thing
Fabrizio, you are surprising a lot of people right now, myself included
Who, who am I talking to?
Gilbert
Gottfried?
Gilbert Gottfried?
Okay, so I died in this game Bloodborne
and I got trapped here
and it was a terrible experience for me
That's what Gilbert Gottfried mixed with
an old lady
who's been smoking her whole life
This is, like, I would, in Dark Souls I'd be dead from looking at 'em
That knife would've killed me that that guy's holding
It's crazy
Now I'm just gonna go whip the shit out of them
Simon Belmont style
C'mon here you rat fucks, whoa, alright, let's not
Oh, it's a pitchfork
Yep, yep, oh, I, I've gotten a little, uh, a little ahead of myself
Yep
Well
Fuck, man, fast on those load times, huh
Like lightning
I'm just wandering around, killing
OH!
Fuck, my spine!
Uh, that's the big dude that I heard, I imagine
He's got a very large axe
Let's just start with this
Just suck on that, I've got like fucking ten of these
Woulda thought that smo OH GOD
HOLY SHIT!
(groans in disgust)
(groans in disgust) Wow
What, alright
I'm fucking dead dude, relax
WHEEEE!
I hope there's no fall damage, there's not
Oh, move, move, move
Holy shit
There is no fall damage but you, oh, no, there is
I'm looking at my health, I assume I took all that damage
He was stunned, for like, two seconds too
and that guy almost lopped my head off
You know, if that guy's axe can get stuck on everything
like my fucking whip was that'd be great, is that it?
FUCKING PRICK!
This guy's not hard, I guarantee you
He's not even a boss, he's just a dude
Jesus Christ
That guy's fucking fast
Alright, well, move, dude
C'MON!!!
DAMMIT!!!
Fucking suck, awe C'MON!!!
He ran through the fucking FIRE!
WHAT?!?
They slit my throat and I survived
Now it's time to use health but I can't get the fuck away
Oh God
Oh God, God, God
Things this big in video games are not supposed to move this fast
Uh, get 'em, get 'em you fuck!
SUCK MY DICK!
YOU SUCK MY DICK YOU BITCH!
That frightens the shit out of me
There's about ten guys of, OH GOD!
I get shot in the back, what the fuck?
You prick
Oh, it's a bloodbath, it's a BLOODBATH!
I get it, I get the name
Oh, fuck
Oh shit, shit, oh God there's like snipers and everything?
What the hell is happening?
Oh, shit, take the whip out, take the whip out
Take the whip out, take the fucking whip out, TAKE IT OUT!
I am looking squeaky
I just look like I squeak
All leathery, I am also very disheveled
Guy needs a hell of a dry cleaner
Oh wow, that does a lot of damage
Oh, whoa, whoa, WHOA, OH C'MON!
REALLY, THAT WAS IT?
It was over, just like that?
Oh shit, giant rat
Ope, ope, that guy fucking
Ah, it killed me?
YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!
Killed in the fucking sewer
Like a rat
I was traveling a rat and they bashed me
They bashed me
If you like that shit
click this shit
Shit, like his butt
And if you like this cock, click his cock
For more caca