- [Voiceover] All right, go for it.
(single clap)
- Ah, what it do, party people?
Welcome to another episode of Real Mature.
It's a show that we make about things you do
when you grow up, and one of the things
that happens to you when you grow up is
the way you party changes.
So, we have three different stories
about, well, partying.
The first one involves Keith.
- (groans) Let's do this, Henry.
- (mumbles) Let's get it.
All right, let's go!
Let's go, let's go!
- All right!.
- [Voiceover] All right, later camera.
(mellow electronic music)
- So, today's episode is about the way you party
and how it changes as you get older,
so the first piece is by Keith.
- Yeah, so for an experiment, me and my two friends
who are about 29 and 30 went back to my college
to try and party like we did
when we were 20, 21, et cetera.
- [Voiceover] Ten-four, that's what
I was gonna let you know.
- So, it took (laughs) us less than 20 seconds
to get stopped by the police.
- My name is Brian Wohl.
I am a handsome 30-year-old man.
- So, I'm Keith.
I'm a beautiful 27-year-old boy.
- I'm Marc Muszynksy.
I'm 29, looking fine.
- And I am back at my alma mater.
- To party like we used to, see if we can do it,
see if it's still fun.
So, we're gonna go pick up Marc.
Marc I met in college, so he's gonna get in the car
and he's gonna tell you about his whole experience.
- Marc!
- [Voiceover] Hey.
- You go take a seat by Henry.
- All right, what's up man?
- Sitting by you.
- All right, are you guys ready to watch this?
- Yeah. - Let's do it.
- All right.
- So, we used to drink, like many college students
are fond of, and we used to play
a game called "Scepter," or I've heard
it's also called "Wizard Staff."
Scepter, where you would tape the next beer
to the top of the one you just finished,
and so as you drank, you'd slowly get
a longer and longer scepter, and I am what I think
is colloquially known as a "wimp,"
never got one that was more than,
probably seven was my max.
- I like how you feel bad about
having only drank seven beers. (Marc laughs)
- So, I think tonight, because now I'm older and wiser,
and can think more strategically,
I think I can get to eight.
- Can I just say, for the record,
this is a stupid goal.
(laughs) - They're all stupid, Henry.
None of them are gonna impress you (laughs).
(everyone laughs)
- Five beers, five beers.
This scepter has five beers.
- So, we're on five.
I was wandering around the party
doing dramatic, what, in my brain,
I assume was GoPro party cinematography.
So, what do you look for in a party companion?
- Someone who is rocking it just as hard as I am.
- Who's this guy?
- (laughs) His name is Brian, but his nickname
amongst his college friends is "Stick."
- I mean, he looks glorious.
- Yeah (laughs), he's an awesome guy.
- The thing it makes me think of as a 32-year-old
is I don't party with anyone like Stick anymore.
- Yeah.
I was able to get to eight beers,
which is, I guess, my new record.
- Look how happy you are with your scepter.
- (laughs) I was thrilled.
So, thanks for the swing by memory lane.
- Ah!
- Oh no!
(onlookers laugh)
- Did going back and partying like you did 10 years ago
make you wish you were still 10 years younger?
- It made me glad I did it once,
but it actually just made me thrilled that I'm not.
Although those parties are fun,
when you're done with that lifestyle,
and you go out into a bigger, more adult world,
all the rewards for everything you do during the day
get so much bigger that that stuff
is just as fun as partying.
- That's very grown-up.
The next video was a video that I pretty much
thrust upon our intern, Kane,
and two of our other interns.
I brought them into a meeting.
They didn't know what was gonna happen,
and I said, "In seven hours, you are going
"to have a dinner party ready at one
"of your guys' houses for three
"of the senior producers on our team."
- We have no idea what we're (laughs) gonna do yet.
- I'm on Pinterest right now
(Kane laughs) (mumbles)
- Going with a California-ish theme.
- Yeah, the theme is fresh.
- We spent two hours at Trader Joe's
looking for stuff. - We spent two hours
at Trader Joe's.
- Okay, so after buying the most random
assortment of things at Target...
Can anyone tell me which one is a serving tray?
I am on my way to Kane's house,
and we're gonna do this thing.
- All right, we're starting to cook now.
We have all our stuff ready.
We moved the table down.
(acoustic blues music)
- I think we started off slow.
We did take a 20-minute nap earlier
because we were tired (laughs).
- I honestly think things have been
going pretty smoothly.
I feel like we've divvied up everything pretty equally
and we've gotten along really well.
- I burnt the onions.
- Oh my god (laughs).
- (laughs) We can't use this.
(both laugh)
- Sorry, I tried a new recipe that I'm not used to.
Actually, I'm gonna do that.
Okay, fax the original recipe.
- Guys, where's the vodka?
(triumphant orchestral music)
- Are you supposed to be putting them
(laughs) into the pot that hot?
- Yeah, why not? - Oh, maybe not.
(laughs) - Wait, what?
- Everyone's gonna get drunk.
Just kidding (laughs).
- I hate everything right now. (Kane laughs)
- [Voiceover] Do you know what waits behind you,
behind that door right there?
- Yeah, a dinner party thrown by interns.
- Them just trying is probably enough,
but we'll see.
I don't know.
Maybe it'll be a disaster.
- Yeah, I'm curious what we're gonna talk about.
You know?
What do the interns have to say?
(knocks several times)
- Hello.
- Hey, guys.
- Hi. - Welcome.
- Welcome to our dinner party.
- Oh my goodness.
(lively string music)
- Feel free to grab a seat.
We made some Moscow mules for you.
- Oh, great.
- Oh shit, the fire's still on!
- So, what are these things here?
- These are mini quiches.
- Yes, and they are made of spinach and artichoke,
and parmesan, and mozzarella. - Mozzarella.
- Is there egg also?
- Yeah, there is egg.
- That's like a given.
- That's the main ingredient.
- There's no crust.
- They are crustless.
(everyone laughs)
- Yeah, they're crustless.
- So, this is salad.
- I'm trying to get the rest of the food together
so that when it's time for dinner,
it can happen seamlessly and they don't have to wait.
You know, Henry's a tough one.
- [Voiceover] How do you think it's going?
- I think it's going well,
just gotta get the convo flowing a little bit.
Once they finish those Moscow mules,
I think everyone will be A-okay.
- This is our big finish.
We have the salmon and the rice,
and then the vegetables.
- [Voiceover] This looks amazing.
- Yeah, you guys are being too polite
but thank you.
- [Voiceover] Same. (laughs)
(piano-led R&B music)
- What do you think of the salmon, guys?
- It's really great.
- Fucking delicious. - It's really great.
- Glad you like it.
- It's nice and subtle.
- It's right on.
- This is a lot of food.
- It's a lot of work.
- I am so proud of these.
I have never used a little pastry frosting thing before.
- My friend had invited me over one time.
She's like, "Dinner's at five."
I was like, "What?"
- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, I find that odd,
to be honest with you.
- Like, why is it so early? - Who eats at five o'clock?
- Yeah, it's weird. - It's weird.
- Woah.
- So, Sophia made this with love.
(laughs)
- Then have a fun game after this.
- Oh, there's a game. - Yeah.
(laughs)
- You can't use (mumbles). (several people laugh)
- No, you're doing your best.
- Oh, wake the fuck up.
- Yeah!
- Okay, Briana.
- It's not time yet, Kane.
(Kane laughs) - Too hot.
(several people laugh)
- Okay.
You're feeling it.
You're feeling the drinks, right?
- Yeah, well you're definitely feeling the drinks.
- There were like four more courses than I thought.
I thought it was just quiche,
and I would've been like, "Yeah, great.
"That's awesome."
- Good job, kids.
- Good job, guys, but it just kept going,
and that's what was great about it.
- The vibes were good, the food was good,
and it was just all about having a good time
and being together.
- [Voiceover] I can't believe this is
your first time doing this.
- [Multiple people] Thank you so much for coming.
- [Multiple people] Thanks for having us.
That is very adult, that's true.
- Buh-bye.
- [Voiceover] All right, so what was the most
stressful part for you guys?
- I think there was a moment when
it was close to the time when people were coming,
and we were just all in the kitchen--
- Yeah. - And my eggs burned (laughs).
(laughs)
- The eggs and the onions burning
was Kane's lowest moment. - That was my lowest moment.
(everyone laughs) I had to pour it all out.
- Yeah. - And redo the rice.
- It was a pleasant evening.
I feel like that's such an adult thing to say.
- So, that was a great video.
I think we should go see BWo
and find out how his experience was.
- Yeah, let's head to that place
where that guy died in his yard.
- (laughs) What?
- You can catch it in Frozen Pizza Party Tour 2k-15.
- [Voiceover] What's up, BWo?
- Hey. - Hey, what up man?
- All right, so we are going to watch
your experience now of what it was like
going back to party like you did 10 years ago.
- Okay.
My goal for tonight is to try and take over the party.
I'm going to try and get people to do activities,
to join me, and just make the whole event about me.
Who will play us in beer pong?
(high-pitched, sped-up talking)
- BWo's having a good time.
- Behind your back. - Do it again.
(group cheers)
- Did you care what the college students
thought of you as you were partying?
- I wanted to have the most fun possible,
and generally, having the most fun possible
is getting as many people together to share that fun.
- [Voiceover] All right, Bwo.
How are you feeling?
- I'm all right.
I haven't had my coffee yet.
- Who's this bearded man in the background?
- I was wondering when you guys
would notice the naked man in the bed.
- Who's that? - Yeah, is this
the first time you've found him?
- I was able to achieve my goals, just about.
I got everybody to chant some things.
(unintelligible shouting)
- [All together] Down the pipes!
- We were able to sing some songs at the party.
- [Voiceover] Goodbye gray skies, hello blue!
Oh wait, we can't sing that song.
It's copyrighted.
(laughs)
- Got a dance party going, so that was good.
I'm staying.
- [Voiceover] Staying in college?
- Yeah.
- [Voiceover] You'll keep partying here?
- Yeah.
- [Voiceover] Into it?
- Yeah.
- [Voiceover] Nice.
- I'm just staying.
- [Voiceover] Great, that's cool.
- He's staying.
- Wait, wait.
Is that Stick?
- Yeah (laughs). - That's Stick.
- We love Stick.
You know, Stick is like this super party bro,
but he's also the sweetest man at that school.
- He looks like Zac Efron in Neighbors.
(laughs)
- I got the Maui Wowie, which has jalapenos,
ham, cheese, and pineapple.
I had such a great time eating that food.
It's fabulous.
Very real.
But this morning, I am feeling that food.
- [Voiceover] How did you feel at the end of the night?
Like, successful, tired?
- I felt incredibly successful.
- At this point, we've outlasted
most of the actual college students.
- Yeah.
- That's great.
You guys outlasted the college students?
- Yeah, man.
- Do you want to party like this more
now that you've had a taste of it?
- Absolutely not.
No, no.
- All right, we'll go on to the next segment.
Who here knows who Andrew W.K. is?
- I do.
- Andrew W.K. is a rock musician.
He's turned himself into the world's
foremost authority on partying,
but he almost a philosophy of partying.
So, we asked our friend, comedian Greg Barris,
to interview him at the Everything Is festival
in Portland a couple weeks ago,
and find out some of his amazing rules for partying.
- Hey, it's Greg Barris for BuzzFeed.
You know, from the internet,
talking with Andrew W.K. about partying as an adult.
- Hello, how are you?
- I'm doing good, how you doing?
- Fine, thank you.
- How did you become an expert on partying?
- Well, by doing it primarily,
by engaging in a celebratory mindset,
but primarily, you can declare yourself
to take on an endeavor, so I said,
"I wanna be good at partying,"
and so, lo and behold, I was.
- Why'd you pick partying?
- To get cheered up.
- Oh, so you were un-cheered.
- I struggled with that consistently.
I definitely wanted to cheer myself up.
This partying mindset has helped
with that a great deal, and it's been
the motivation for my life mission.
I don't want to say it kills two, but it flutters
two birds with one gust of wind.
- That is beautiful.
- Thank you.
- Am I too old to party?
- Well, no.
I would only say someone would be too old
if there's parts of their physique
which has grown decrepit, but even then,
partying can actually help bolster the body.
If you're 99 years old, and your body
has grown decrepit and withered,
for example, there was a gentlemen
on the airplane today that had two crutches,
and he was quite elderly, but he was still hardy in spirit,
so his partying may be less physical
and more spirit-based, and then someone
like a young child who is only scampering,
and whose soul hasn't developed that much yet
because they haven't lived that long,
at least in this embodiment,
maybe they're a more physical party.
- Yeah. - They're just running amok.
- So, like I'm in my thirties,
I get tired easily, I can't party like the way I used to.
What are some ways to combat party fatigue?
- Well actually, being fatigued can count as partying.
- Oh. - So, resting...
- Oh, okay. - Sitting,
like you're doing now, laying.
- Napping.
- Napping, but nap hard.
- For people with a more conventional lifestyle,
like a day job, how do they integrate
partying into that lifestyle?
- You have usually eight hours of work,
hopefully that you can take some kind of pride in.
Even if you hate the job, you can still try
to do a good job at what you hate.
Eight hours of rest, or some version of that,
and then you hope to have eight hours
to kind of do whatever else, and that's the precious time.
So really, if you only have that precious
eight hours of your life, you can make that count,
and really, really sort of live in that slice,
that third, or something.
- Or something.
- Always "or something."
- Yeah, there's more something all the time.
- Always.
- That was pretty cool.
- Yeah, pretty good.
- So, are you ready to watch your party experience?
- Sure, I edited it, so I know what it is.
Let's watch it (laughs).
- Okay.
- One of the objectives I have
is to play beer pong, and win a game of beer pong.
I will have to play beer pong until I win,
because I used to win.
I haven't played beer pong in a long time.
- [Voiceover] They're chugging beers.
- We're doing it.
(high-pitched, sped-up talking)
- Good little montage.
Are you embarrassed by how important
beer pong is to you?
- I used to win beer pong all the time.
I built my own beer pong table.
It was called "The Floorboard,"
because I made it out of flooring.
Oh, well, we did it.
We got back at 4:00, or 3:45.
It was a crazy night.
We played beer pong, lost the first game.
- Damn it!
- Oh! - Mother fucker!
You gotta be kidding me!
- Me and BWo really embraced the true nature
of beer pong, which is to say something together
with your partner every time you're about to shoot.
Somehow it gets you in the zone.
(cheers off-screen)
- You did it.
I won a game of beer pong.
- [Voiceover] Finally!
- We won.
- For us to win, we had to go,
(together) "Octavarius, so nefarious."
- And it's also about the power of touch, Henry.
It unites people.
(everyone laughs)
- Okay (mumbles).
- Me and Mark tried to chug a beer
faster than a girl.
- Yeah! - Yeah, chug!
(everyone cheers)
- Couldn't.
Both college students beat both of us
in the chugging contest.
Mark didn't even try.
Mark just didn't try.
We went to four-square,
and in four-square, I fell down,
got a little cut there.
- It's funny how often you get hurt
while drinking when you're young versus now.
I never get hurt.
- Yeah, because when you're young and drinking,
you have so much more energy to go out
and attack the world, where now if I'm drinking,
I'm like, "I'm cool to sit on this stool."
- Yeah.
I don't feel invincible anymore.
- Yeah.
But today, we're pretty hung over.
We're gonna go eat some shepherd's pie
at an Irish pub.
That's it, right?
Did we do it?
(mumbles)
(everyone laughs)
- Yeah, so now we're getting tacos
at my favorite taco stand.
- [Voiceover] Did anything about this experience
make you guys sad?
- The thing that I miss the most
about college is the immediacy of all your friends,
how easy it is for 25 people that you really love
to just show up in 10 minutes.
So, that's pretty much it, you know?
We went down.
We all had pretty much the same time.
We had a lot of fun, but ultimately
we like partying how we already party here,
which, really, is similar.
We get drunk, but we just don't stay out as late
and we don't drink to incredible excess anymore.
- Yeah. - I feel like we've found
the highlights of what this can be,
and then we do those to the best of our ability.
- That's how you party as you get older, I guess.
- Plus, fucking tacos for days.
- Yeah, tacos for days.
- Tacos for days.
- Know that, and thanks for watching Real Mature.
Until next time.
What it do. - What it do.
- [all together] What it do!