- Can I get two extra large vanilla chocolate swirls
in a sugar cone with extra sprinkles.
- Is the yogurt dairy-free?
Yeah, I don't have my Lactaid pill.
(soft music)
Actually, you know what, never mind.
That yogurt is just gonna go straight to my thighs.
I'll take a water.
(laughs)
Ow, I hurt myself!
(cries)
- Tag, you're it!
(laughs)
(groans)
- Hey, can you book me two weeks of physiotherapy?
- [Woman] What happened?
- I bent down.
- Want to see how long we can hold our breath?
- Okay ready, one, two, three.
Okay no splashing, I'm serious.
The chlorine's gonna ruin my hair color.
(coughs)
I think that was five minutes.
(screams)
No for real, it took me an hour to straighten my hair.
- What are you doing?
- Coloring because it's fun.
- What're you doing?
- Coloring because my therapist
said it would reduce my stress.
(knocks)
- [Friend] You want to go outside and play?
- Mom, can I go outside and play?
- [Mom] Everyday playing outside, go, get lost.
- Who's down for a movie tonight?
Can't working, I'm broke, no one to watch kids.
(phone dings)
Who's this, really mom?
Mom I don't want to go to bed, I'm not even sleepy.
(groans)
Hey, is it okay if we cancel dinner tonight, I'm so tired.
- [Woman] It's 7:00 p.m.
- Yeah.
That one looks like a mermaid.
Looks kind of like a bad parallel
parking job, really tight spot.
(gasps)
- That one looks like a unicorn.
- Looks like a house with high property tax.
That one looks like a dinosaur having dinner with a puppy.
I'm a dragon. (meows)
My skin is so dehydrated.
This is my baby and I'm its mommy,
and I'm gonna be the best mommy ever.
- Lucky.
- Please, please, please, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- [Woman] Aw, what a cute girl.
- [Friend] How adorable.
- [Woman] Wow, what a slut.
- [Friend] She belongs in one of those rap videos.
- Thank you so much for watching my video.
If you like to give it a big thumbs up
and make sure you comment below
and if you don't I'm gonna tell my mom on you.
My last video's over there, my second vlog channel's there
and make sure you subscribe because
I make new videos every Monday and Thursday.
One love superwoman that is a wrap and zoop I like puppies.