(CREEPY MUSIC PLAYING)
Shut Up!
(FORBOADING MUSIC PLAYING)
This candle smells good.
(LUNCHTIME WITH SMOSH THEME PLAYS)
(MUNCHING NOISE)
(BOTH) Mmm.
(IAN) Hamburger.
Hey Ian, guess what time it is?
Lunchtime with Smosh?
Lunchtime with Smosh.
(GIBBERING)
LLLLLL-
Alright, so today, where are we eating, Ian?
We are eating at this place that left a free food coupon on our doorstep.
(ANTHONY) Yeah, this totally looks legit.
Some guy left it on our doorstep so Ian wants to eat here.
Free food!
Free food. (BABBLES)
If we die, I'm going to have some really dirty thing written on your gravestone.
(IAN) That sounds sexy.
No, it's going to say "I have a bowl hair cut and I'm an idiot".
(ANTHONY IMITATES CAR PASSING BY)
Dude, where the hell are we?
We're getting there, it's a little ways.
Free food doesn't come easy.
That's what your mom said last night. (LAUGHING)
(ANTHONY) This is seriously how you get there?
I think so.
(ANTHONY) And your sure we're going the right way?
Uh, yeah.
(ANTHONY) (LAUGHING): Why the hell are you driving backwards?
I think we might've gone the wrong way.
(ANTHONY LAUGHING)
(IAN) Here we are!
(ANTHONY) Dude, this...this place looks creepy as hell.
(ANTHONY) (SINGING): Through the iron fence
To the creepy.... (STOPS SINGING), creepy door with a.... weird sign.
(BANGING)
(BOTH) Probably just some....
(MAN): What do you want?!
Uh..we're...
Are you the guy who has the "food" thing?
Oh. Oh yes, of course....
The coupon.....come right on in!
(ANTHONY) No wonder the food at this place is free.
(IAN) Yeah, looks like crap.
Hey guys, you can just follow me up these stairs.
(FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS)
(WHISPERING): Was that the same guy?
(ANTHONY) (WHISPERING): I don't know.
(FOOTSTEPS CONTINUE)
(WAITER) Watch your step!
(FUNNY VOICE) Okay.
(SLAPPING NOISE)
(ANTHONY) Sh.....dude!
I can't decide on the two things that exist on this menu.
(ANTHONY) Hmm...something awesome or something that......sucks ass.
Hmm...what do you think is in a Mushroom Pie?
Umm.....
(ANTHONY) Pickles.
Probably...yeah I was going say pickles or cu...cumbers.
Say Coo-Cumbers or Q-Cumbers or Queue-Camberz.
This place better have the best food on earth, if they want to justify charging $19 for a mushroom piece of crap.
That's why we're going with burgers!
Burgers, bitch!
Bitch, burgers!
(IMITATING BLOOD SPLATER NOISES AND IMITATING PAINED GROANS)
(REPEATING GUNFIRE NOISES)
(IMITATING PAINED CHOKING AND BLOOD NOISES)
(IAN WITH A DISTINQUICHABLE VOICE) Hey guys,stick a fork...stick a fork in it, it's done.
(CHUCKLES) Get it because he's a....
(MUMBLING GIBBERISH)
Hey, shut up! (IMITATES PUNCHING NOISE)
(SINGING) We are waiting for our food.
Playing the violin, 'cause we're waiting for our food.
Hey y'all, I'll be your waitress today, I'm Trixie.
What can I get ya for?
(ANTHONY) Uhhh....
Can I have the burger?
We got Mushroom Pie.
(IAN) But...it says that you have a burger here, so where's the burger....?
(CREEPILY) We got Mushroom Pie....
(ANTHONY) If we can't have a burger, why did you put it on the menu?
(IAN) Yeah, well...
What the hell, did she just leave us?
(FOOD PRESENTER) Excusez moi?
Sorry for ze waiting, sirs.
(IAN) Ok I don't...I don't get it. How...How are you doing this? Seriously?
I-I do not what you speak of.
Are you playing.....are you playing a prank on us or something like that?
(IAN) Yeah, because.....
I am sorry, I do not speaks le English.
(IAN) But you....
Au revoir!
(IAN) You were just over....
(FOOD PRESENTER SPEAKING IN FRENCH IN DISTANCE)
Alright this....this is getting really weird
(ANTHONY) Yeah, this Mushroom Pie looks like s**t.
(GROANS IN DISGUST) Dude, just can't we get the hell out of here?
Uh, dude we haven't answered Twitter questions yet.
Fine, Twitter questions, then we get the f**k out.
Anthony, I believe it is time for something.
(ANTHONY SIGHS RELUCTINLY)
(SINGING) Find Twitter questions, find Twitter questions, finding Twitter...
(MAN) Hey!
Can't ya see some decent looking person trying to have a meal? (FRUSTRATED GRUNT)
Uhhh.....ThatOneGuy69 asks:
"What kind of underwear are you wearing right now?"
Comfy ones!
Tight pink ones with Power Rangers on 'em!
ThatOtherGuy69 asks: "How would you most like to die?"
Getting burned to death.
Choking on a frozen hot dog.
ThatCoolGuy69 a.....
Wait...
It's...it's that guy.
What do you mean "that guy"?
(STUTTERING).... dude look...
(ANTHONY) Every singe question on here's from that guy.
(IAN) What do you mean? Just keep scrolling. There's gotta be more...
Dude I'm..I'm..s....
ImGoingToKillYou69 says: "There's no escape, I've sealed the place tight."
(ANTHONY) What're you doing?
Calling the cops.
(ANTHONY) Dude what?
I'm not going to die in this s**thole.
(WHISPERING) Has he been staring at us the whole time?
(ANTHONY): (WHISPERING): Dude, he won't stop looking at us!
Alright, we've been waiting for the cops for like 10 minutes, I don't.....
(ANTHONY) Dude, can you...can you...can you call them back or something?
Did you even give them the right address?
(MAN) This is the police!
(GASPS) Dude, we're....
(IAN) Go, go, go, go!
(RAPID FOOTSTEPS)
(IAN) Help!
Get us the hell out of here!
Why would you wanna leave?
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(MAN DISCUSSING FOLLOWED BY LAUGHING EVILLY)
(IAN) Dude, where're we going?!
(EVIL LAUGHTER CONTINUING)
Anthony, what're we gonna do?
I think we should stay here FOREVER!
(IAN) Oh f**k, oh no! (SCREAMING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Okay, now that our food is complete, what would you rate it, Ian?
15 dead ponies out of 15!
BYE, BITCH!
(MAN) To see what else I did to them, click the link below.....
Also, click the other link to see more episodes of Lunchtime With Smosh.....
(BREATHING HEAVILY)