-The president spent the weekend on an unhinged Twitter rant
after dismissing the rising threat of white nationalism.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Well, it's another Monday,
and that means once again the president of the United States
had a quiet, normal weekend full of hard work
and sober reflection, and everyone slept well
and woke up refreshed and optimistic.
And I'm just kidding -- His brain is silly putty,
and we're all doomed.
-President Trump spends his weekend
lashing out on Twitter.
He hit on everything from the Mueller probe
to "Saturday Night Live," the late Senator John McCain,
and much more.
He tweeted 50 times this weekend, alone --
30 original tweets, 20 retweets,
bashing Mueller and the Russia investigation 14 times,
also General Motors, Google,
the United Auto Workers, Hillary Clinton,
and now today calling Joe Biden another low-IQ individual.
-I mean, Jesus. His tweets would make more sense
if they were scribbled on the wall of a psych ward.
[ Laughter ]
The bottom of every Trump tweet
should have, "like," "retweet," or "send me a free Xanax."
This is insane. The president of the United States
tweeted over 50 times in one weekend.
He retweeted Fox News a bunch of times,
attacked John McCain, General Motors,
Google, Hillary, and China all in one tweet,
the Paris Climate Accord, Obama,
the FBI and CIA, Robert Mueller, "Saturday Night Live,"
Hillary again, John McCain again,
called on Fox News to bring back a host he likes,
retweeted Fox News, attacked Fox News,
the United Auto Workers, General Motors again,
retweeted multiple conspiracy theorists,
a bunch of random people,
accused Democrats of trying to steal the election,
and in the middle of all that,
he also found time to tweet "Happy St. Patrick's Day!"
[ Laughter, cheers, and applause ]
Which is appropriate
since he tweets like he's in the middle of a bar crawl.
[ As Trump, slurring ] Hey, man, I love you
more than Hillary loves e-mails.
[ Normal voice ] I'm sorry, but you can't tweet one sane thing
in the middle of 50 insane things.
It's like if you walked by one of those guys in Times Square
yelling "The end is near!"
and then he turned to you and calmly said,
"Do you know if there's a Panera Bread around here?"
[ Laughter ]
Could use a Panera Bread.
I'm a little -- a little peckish.
Trump's behavior this weekend was so unnerving
that George Conway, the husband
of white house counselor Kellyanne Conway
and longtime Republican lawyer in Washington just tweeted,
"His condition is getting worse."
And, you know, it really says a lot about the state
of our politics that we all know who he's talking about.
You don't even need to say Trump's name anymore.
Everyone will know who you're talking about if you just tweet,
"He's yelling at the TV again."
Trump's Twitter tirade was unhinged on its own,
but it's especially unnerving that he chose to spend his time
attacking everyone from "Saturday Night Live"
to John McCain just days after the horrific shootings
at two mosques in New Zealand.
The gunman was a white nationalist
who targeted Muslims
and was steeped in a culture of online extremism.
And, yet, when Trump was asked on Friday
about the rising threat of white nationalism
around the world, he shrugged it off.
-Do you see today white nationalism
as a rising threat around the world?
-I don't really. I think it's a, uh, small group of people
that have very, very serious problems.
-First of all, a small group of people
that have very serious problems
isn't an answer to the question, "Is white nationalism a threat?"
If anything, it's answer to the question,
"Who still works at the White House?"
[ Laughter ]
Second, of course you don't see it as a threat.
You called on a ban for Muslims coming to the U.S.,
and you're trying to build a wall to keep out
Mexican asylum seekers.
Asking Trump if he sees white nationalism as a threat
is like asking Joe Camel if he sees tobacco as a threat.
[ Gruff voice ] Well, only if you're threatened by bold flavor
and satisfaction.
[ Laughter ]
In fact, instead of addressing
the rising threat of white nationalism,
Trump spent part of his deranged Twitter bender
over the weekend defending Fox News host Jeanine Pirro
and Tucker Carlson who were under fire
for making racist and Islamophobic remarks.
-Trump tweeting in defense of his friend,
"Bring back Judge Jeanine Pirro.
The radical left Democrats
working closely with their beloved partner,
the fake news media, is using every trick in the book
to silence a majority of our country.
They have all-out campaigns against Fox News hosts
who are doing too well."
-"The losers all want what you have, don't give it to them.
Be strong and prosper. Be weak and die. Stay true."
-"Keep fighting for Tucker and fight hard for Judge Jeanine.
Your competitors are jealous.
They all want what you've got, number one."
-The president of the United States
is an angry grandpa who spends his time
yelling at the TV to bring back his favorite shows.
God forbid they ever cancel "Pawn Stars"
or he'll have a full-on meltdown.
[ As Trump ] Bring back Chumlee, or I'll launch a nuke!
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] Also, what do you mean,
"Be strong and prosper, be weak and die"?
You sound like you're about to ring in
the 74th annual "Hunger Games."
[ Laughter ]
Also, also...
[ Applause ]
Also...
remember when Trump said he didn't have time to watch TV
because he's too busy reading?
In case you forgot, he told reporters,
and this is a real quote,
"I don't get to watch much television
primarily because of documents. I'm reading documents a lot."
[ Laughter ]
First of all, you watch plenty of television.
You got mad at a rerun of "SNL" this weekend --
A rerun.
You watch more "SNL" than Lorne Michaels,
and that's not a joke.
I have been next to Lorne when a sketch starts bombing,
and that man straight-up leaves the room.
Second, let's make something clear --
no one who actually reads documents ever says,
"I'm too busy reading documents."
That's something a lawyer in a porno says
in the first 30 seconds of a scene
where you're supposed to think,
"Oh, maybe they're not going to do it.
I hope I didn't rent a porno that's just law stuff.
Also, why did I rent a porno?
Oh, right, to support a local business.
Don't you quit, Frank.
I know you're going to outlast the Internet."
[ Laughter ]
Trump wants us all to think he spends his free time
in the study smoking a pipe, poring over stacks of papers.
"Mr. President, we need you
to come to your bedroom and watch TV."
[ As Trump ] Oh, not now, I pray you leave me to my documents."
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] So, the president of the United States
decided to spend his weekend defending Jeanine Pirro
and Tucker Carlson -- in fact, Pirro was specifically
criticized for making Islamophobic remarks
about Minnesota Congresswoman Ilhan Omar earlier this month.
The remarks were so heinous,
even Fox News condemned them and pulled her off the air.
-Omar wears a hijab,
which according to the Qur'an 33:59,
tells women to cover so they won't get molested.
Is her adherence to this Islamic doctrine
indicative of her adherence to Sharia Law,
which in itself is antithetical
to the United States Constitution?
-The only thing worse than saying something that offensive
is saying it that loud.
Why does she always talk like she has a bad connection?
"I said, 'How are things at college?'"!
[ Laughter ]
You know, when you say something bigoted,
you're supposed to whisper it in private, right?
Jeanine Pirro style would say,
[ Whispers ] "You know who I don't like?
[ Loudly ] Muslims!"
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
Then there's Tucker Carlson,
the bad guy from every John Hughes movie.
It was reported that he made a series of racist, misogynist,
and homophobic comments on a radio show in the 2000s
hosted by a guy named Bubba the Love Sponge.
And let me just say, I was so confused to hear
that Tucker Carlson went on a show hosted by someone
named Bubba the Love Sponge that I made the same face
Tucker Carlson makes every night on his show.
[ Laughter ]
Look at him. He always looks like he's 30 seconds
into an allergic reaction.
[ Laughter ]
"Were there nuts in this muffin?"
He looks like he's three quarters of the way
to Rudy Giuliani.
[ Laughter ]
Now, anyone who has paid any attention to politics at all
knows that Trump has spent years as a businessman, candidate,
and president openly spouting anti-Muslim bigotry,
yet Trump's aides have been trying to memory hole
his long history of racism and Islamophobia,
like his acting Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney.
Mulvaney said on Sunday that he would like us all
to ignore the things that Trump says
and focus instead on what he does.
-As a candidate, the president called for a ban on all Muslims
entering the United States. He said Islam hates us.
This kind of language in the past leads to these questions
of why isn't the president now
directly using that megaphone to condemn it?
-Take the -- take the words and put them one category
and take the actions and put them in another.
-Oh, he's the president, but we have to separate
the words from the actions like we're taking out
the [bleep] recycling?
Word. Action.
Word.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Word, but it's still got a lot of spaghetti in it, so action."
And I'm sorry, but his only actions are words.
Other than Twitter, what else does he do?
You won't let us watch him golf, even though if you did,
it would be higher rated than the Super Bowl.
I mean, I would watch.
Because there's so much that I want to know.
Is he actually good,
or is he terrible, and everyone pretends that he's good?
I know he cheats, but how?
Is he good at it, or is he super obvious?
Does he make a weird noise when he swings, and if so,
is it the same noise, or does it change based on the club?
Seriously, televise his next golf game,
sell it on pay-per-view, and build your wall with that money.
[ Laughter, cheers, and applause ]
And I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, but you don't get to put Trump's words
in a different category unless that category
is signs you might be having a stroke.
-Every single car out there,
even the really "expenses" ones...
Controlled by large "derners"...
10,000 known or "suspested" gang members.
-Mulvaney then went on to claim that despite Trump's
long established history of anti-Muslim bigotry,
Trump, himself, was not Islamophobic.
-I hear what folks say,
"Oh, Donald Trump said this during the campaign."
Look at what we've done while we've been here.
And I don't think anybody could say
that the president's anti-Muslim.
-Well, let me try -- The president is anti-Muslim.
Yep, that was not hard at all.
[ Cheers and applause ]
It was easy to say.
Certainly wasn't as hard as saying "suspested."
[ Laughter ]
You know, you're not very bright
for someone who looks like grown-up Sherman.
[ Laughter ]
Trump has spent his entire political career
trafficking anti-Muslim bigotry,
and now he's defending people who've done the same.
Of course, these guys have to stick together
because they are a -- -Small group of people
that have very, very serious problems.
-This has been "A Closer Look."
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪