where we were gotten a 19 year old uh guy who's a daily porn user okay uh whenever he right now he
works at a liquor store and uh in his free time before he was employed he would do nothing but
uh play games and watch youtube netflix anime and then porn every day yep and right so we had him go
we had to go to a beach and talk to as many women as possible with the goal of getting their number
oh no no and he he talked to 10 people 10 girls and he got two two numbers which is great
not bad and um so so after that we've uh set him up with uh different rules
different homework now he's he can't watch porn for 30 days and we're going to do the same thing
going to 10 different women at the end of the 30 days what do you think is gonna happen
okay so this is interesting uh okay i have a whole lot of thoughts about this but i'll just answer it
then there's so many qualifiers and factors but the first thing i was going to say is if he's
been watching porn daily the likelihood he'll be able to go 30 days not watching it slim to none
my money's on he is actually yeah yeah he can't even go how long can't we go how long can't even
go 30 days i would say maximum a daily user it would be very difficult to go 30 days and he
might be able to cheat because unfortunately daily users of pornography can internalize
a large percentage of the effects i was going to put a number on it but i can't put a number on
it but like he can create the same effects in his brain and body without even watching porn
i i know i know what you're talking about it has something to do with like um
hysteria right yeah well it's fantasy there's something called euphoric recall so like
he could think about the porn that he's watched like literally he won't even have to think about
it he'll have flashbacks like it will be coming into his brain and if he follows that trail
so if that's the case which likely it would be very difficult for him to do that then likely
there might be very minimal effects when he goes back but if he and there's so many factors and i
can talk about some of them in a minute but let's just say he totally like unwired his brain for 30
days and he did a whole bunch of good stuff and we can talk about what that good stuff
would be 30 days later when he went out back to to the beach his demeanor and interactional style
and communication and the way that he looks into people's eyes if he's doing all the right things
he should start seeing people as whole people eye contact probably just the number one thing
you know like in a research study you only want to pick one variable to measure yeah because that's
how research studies work that's why there's way too many variables to control but you know
even if we just picked eye contact eye contact should be more authentic there should be more
of it and the interaction should be different okay and i would imagine the number from two to ten
you know would go up more closer to the seven or eight range but of course it totally depends
on the women too because you could have eight totally different women yeah yeah um i mean so
hmm you're giving me the second guess you're gonna whether whether he's being authentic here
but so far he's been true i think he's been truthful um because he's uh he's told me that
he relapse on day three but we've we're we're two weeks in we're day 14 15 and he's he hasn't
looked at it since since then yeah cool and i will tell you like if he's a daily user
self-awareness very low very very low yeah and like and that's the hard part and it's
not that you know if you ever hear me talk about people who consume porn like it's
not even his fault like it's pretty wild that people don't even know what's going on with
them until they come out of it that's why i always say like you can't solve that problem
if you're in the box you can't even see what's going on until you're outside of the box and it
really you know there's so many so many factors but relapsing on day three is totally classic
and yeah so now what day is ian uh i so i guess 15 minus 3 12 day 12. yeah so he's got 12 days um
have you talked to him like about his state of affairs how is how is he feeling and doing yes
i've been talking to him talking to him every day um so so is um this guy is named josh hudson he's
the other youtuber he yeah actually he and i are talking in like two weeks i think okay good good
good yeah i've told them i've told them about uh these interviews um yeah that's why that's
probably why he uh messaged you but yeah but basically um him and i are talking to jason um
every day so far jason has been going to the gym pretty frequently um but uh a downside is that uh
he beats himself up calling himself a [ __ ] whenever he uh misses out on an opportunity to
approach a girl and ask for a number yeah so like that's really interesting because i made a video
uh spontaneously on instagram a couple weeks ago because self deprecating behavior is a
classic telltale sign like self negative self should decrease significantly so like when i'm
working with someone i'll look for all of these you know symptoms i guess or side effects of porn
use and 30 days honestly is probably just not enough time you know that's why programs are not
programs are 90 days how long has he been consuming
i think um he started he started doing daily use when he was 17 or 16 but he started
really really like 13. yeah and he's 19 now mm-hmm and then is he has he been off social
media and everything during this time he hasn't been off twitter he he said that
that's one thing he doesn't want to give up because you know he that's his main form of
communication every other social media who's he communicating with on twitter i love when people
i love that and so like twitter's dangerous man twitter's a dangerous place i tried telling him
this i tried telling this as much as i could saying there are so many triggers on twitter
you just 10 pictures and you'll you'll find some girl in leather and and it's but he's like uh
i'll mute them whenever i see him yeah yeah yeah but i mean like all of those are so like you know
with self-awareness being low that right there is an indicator of self-awareness being low because
when i work with people when you know we jump on to a meeting and they say i've taken myself
off of twitter ah we've arrived we've arrived at the next step where self-awareness is higher
because and i did this with a different gentleman last week about the gym going back to the gym
he's like i used to work out at home for years now i'm going to the gym i said why he's looking at
me like you know to work out i'm like why are you going to the gym now i said what are you doing at
the gym he's just checking people out and because he stopped watching porn so here's the deal like
replacement dopamine hits come into play because his brain is going to fight to find the dopamine
that he has been giving it for a long time daily for probably you know hours at a time so
it tricks him so like he's honest with you but he's being tricked by what i call the hijacker
so now he goes to the gym he thinks he's there for workouts but if he's checking people out
the whole time he's getting these dopamine hits that will make it very difficult for
him to be a different version of himself in 30 days so usually what happens is it's a journey
and you know that's what people 30 days is very short 90 days is short but 90 days is usually like
enough time to kind of move through this journey and go you know you're in this first stage for
a month and you really learn about a lot about yourself and where you're at and what it's almost
like just a teaser pretty much it's just like you get you get a feel for what it will be like when
you stop consuming you understand how hard it is when urges hit you get a sense of your cycle
every person who is addicted to pornography there's a cycle to it and we can talk about
that if we want to but then you get a sense of that cycle what your brain's doing during each
stage of that cycle what your triggers are and then how you're lying to yourself and so likely
right now he's lying to himself with twitter he's probably lying to himself at the gym you can find
out if he goes to the gym when there's nobody there when it's filled with women for real i mean
nobody's there then that is a really good outlet for him if he's going and if you find out he's
actually looking at a lot of people there that could be him convincing himself he's doing all
the right stuff at the gym but he's just being tricked by addictions addiction it's tricky
it'll trick him into going let's go to the gym and work out this is so good for our brain
uh