Today, we're talking about five signs that your ex is miserable without you. First, my
name is Clay, with modernlove.life, where we help you get the great loving relationship
that you're looking for without having to play mind games, without having to play hard
to get, and without having to pretend to be someone or something that you are not, because
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if you don't have a Facebook account, whatever, no worries, but there it is. Anyway, let's
go ahead and get into this video. So, your ex might actually be miserable after
they broke up with you. They may have inadvertently, walked into a worse situation than maybe your
relationship with them was. Sure, relationships are never perfect, and I'm sure that your
relationship with them was not perfect. I'm sure it had some great qualities, but I'm
sure it was also less than ideal in certain aspects as well too. And it's not uncommon
for people to just focus in on the small little negative things and forget all the great things
that are there and then they leave because of those negative things. And then they look
back and they say, "Oh, oops, I didn't realize that I'd be getting rid of the negative thing,
but I'd also be missing out on all these other great positive things as well too."
So, let's get into how you can tell if your ex is miserable without you. So, the first
way obviously, is if they have some sort of destructive behavior following the breakup.
Doing things like drinking way more than they used to do or doing drugs or anything else
that you might consider destructive, okay? These are obviously signs of someone who's
not super happy with their current situation and these are obviously ways that you can
tell that someone is dealing with their emotions in a less than healthy way. Really obvious,
you probably don't need me to tell you this. Another sign that your ex is miserable without
you is if they're basically what you would call drifting. Okay. So, what do I mean by
drifting? This is going to take a little bit, so buckle up. But there was a personal development
author named Napoleon Hill. He's very widely known in the personal development world. He
wrote a book called, Think and Grow Rich, and pretty much anyone who's done personal
development, has read this book or heard about this book. But what you may not know, is he
actually wrote another book that was suppressed and hidden for, I think 70 years or something,
and then awhile back, it was actually, finally released. It was called, Outwitting the Devil,
if you can see that right there? But this book is, believe it or not, weird. Yeah.
Basically, this involves Napoleon Hill, casting a spell to summon the devil. He then casts
a binding spell on the devil and then coerces the devil to tell all of his secrets about
success and failure, why some people succeed and why some people fail. Yeah. And it's just
a dialogue between him and the devil about all of these sorts of things, see, it's a
dialogue there. But yeah, really weird topic. It'd be like if you found out that Tony Robbins,
was doing weird stuff like this, I don't believe that he is, but you never know. It would be
surprising, shocking, very controversial. But anyway, I read this book and one of the
things that the devil says that causes people to fail in life, is that they drift. They
just go with the flow of life. They're just engaging in these shallow behaviors. I guess,
back when this book was written, there wasn't a thing like smartphones and just zoning out
on your phone and just scrolling and scrolling and scrolling, till your eyes fall out. But
if they're just doing stuff like that, if they're just watching TV or playing video
games or doing things like that, where they're not in control of their own life, and they're
just letting someone else pull the strings and they're just going along with the flow,
that is a sign that someone is not living their best life. They're not most likely,
super excited about their life and they're not moving their life in a positive direction.
Now, again, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with doing things on your phone or playing
video games once in a while or something like that, I think we all do that stuff from time
to time, but if that is the primary thing that they're doing, or they're just bouncing
around from one zoning out activity to another zoning out activity, to another zoning out
activity, that's a sign that they're not dealing with things in a very productive way and they're
probably also not living the life that they are most excited about living themselves.
I know this can be a little bit weird, but if your ex is drifting, if they're zoning
out, doing shallow sorts of things, that is a sign that they're miserable without you,
especially if all of this is just right after the breakup. By the way, if you want to know
more about what your ex is thinking, what their experience is through this whole process,
be sure to check out this video playlist up there where we go into your ex's psychology,
what they're thinking and all of that. But anyway, tangent.
Sign number three, that your ex is miserable without you, is that they are not living into
their values. Now, maybe it's just me, but whenever I'm in a relationship with someone,
I want to know who that person is and I want to know what's important to them. And so,
I tend to have lots of conversations with them like, "Hey, what's important to you about
life?" Or like, "Hey, if this hypothetical situation happened, what would you want to
do? If we didn't have to work for a living or something, what would you do with your
time?" And so, I usually figure out what the values are of the partners that I have, and
I imagine you probably do something like that too, unless, maybe I'm just a weirdo, I don't
know. It seems like the kind of thing most people would do. I don't know, leave a comment
down below if I'm just weird in that regard, or if you guys do that stuff too.
But anyway, you should have a sense about what your partner's values are. And if you
start to notice that they're not living congruently into those values after the breakup, and instead
they're just doing things that aren't in alignment with the person that you know that they are,
that's definitely a sign that they're miserable without you, because obviously, they have
their own personal set of values and unless those values have shifted for some reason,
they're probably not feeling very good about themselves if they're not living congruently
into those values. So, that's definitely a sign that things aren't going super great.
Number four, sign number four that your ex is miserable without you, is that they talk
positively about your time together. Either directly, about like, "Yeah, we used to do
this, or we did this that one time and that was great." Or if they talk about the period
of time and maybe things that were going on during that period of time when the two of
you were together, but maybe not specifically about you, like, "Oh yeah, back in 2000, whatever,
when we were living in that place in Portland, Oregon, I used to really love going to see
that one thing once in a while and I'd go and do it."
Obviously, I'm terrible at hypothetical things, but you get the idea, right? If they are anchoring
positivity to a period of time in which the two of you were together, all while their
current reality is not so great, maybe they're not in a good place for any number of reasons,
that just shows that they're looking positively upon the time that the two of you had together,
especially when they're in a not great place right now. And that just shows that there's
that juxtaposition of good times versus not so good times right now.
And then sign number five, that your ex is miserable without you, is that they keep in
contact with you, meaningful contact, not just surface level stuff, but meaningful kind
of contact, while they are in a rebound relationship with someone else. Now, obviously, if they're
talking to you while they're in a relationship with someone else, that new relationship probably
isn't going so well. This new rebound person is probably not going to be super excited
to find out that your ex is talking to you and they'd probably feel pretty insecure about
it. So, your ex might be intentionally doing that, or they might be keeping it secret or
something like that. But it's a major, major red flag that they're not in a great place
right now and they're looking back nostalgically on your time together and seeing it in a positive
light. So, definitely keep that in mind. All right. So, I hope this helped you out.
I hope this helped to get some clarity for you. If you do like what we're doing here,
please once again, make sure you give this video a thumbs up for the YouTube algorithm
and also subscribe to the channel as well. And there is that Facebook group down in the
description box for this video, you're more than welcome to join if you like, if not,
no worries. But if you do want to learn more about what your ex is thinking, what their
experiences through this whole process, please check out this video series over here, or
you might like this video right here. But once again, my name is Clay, thank you so
much for watching this video. Hope you are having a great day and please take care, and
I'll see you in the next video.