By the end of this video,
you're going to know exactly what to expect.
Hey, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I'm an attorney, an author and a narcissist negotiation expert.
I help people shift the dynamic and become
the most powerful person when negotiating with narcissists.
So, if that sounds good to you,
make sure that you subscribe to my channel and
hit that notification bell.
Let's talk about the six things
narcissists do at the end of a relationship.
Remember there are three phases
to a narcissistic relationship.
That is the love-bombing, the devaluating,
and the discarding, and remember, they kind of
go back and forth between all three.
I definitely have videos on
all three phases of the narcissistic relationship,
which you can check out if you'd like.
But, in the end of the relationship is
when they really turn it on
that's when they start the smear campaign and
this smear campaign can start like
if they feel like it's happening,
they’ll start sort of seeding it along the way,
in other words, they might say something
six months before the relationship ended,
to a neighbor like, “so-and-so drank too much last night and,
you know, I'm so concerned about him/her” and
then, when the relationship does collapse,
they'll be able to say,
“oh, you know, so-and-so is an alcoholic
remember, I told you I was so concerned about that”.
So, you see how they kind of plant these seeds
along the way for the smear campaign there?
Really good at that sort of thing.
So, even if they start to see that
coming down the road that they will start
that smear campaign early on because, remember,
with narcissists, they live in a world
that's very black and white.
It's very much, a world of winners and losers and
I got all the friends and you didn't, and
I got all the money and you got none of it and
the kids love me and they don't love you.
It's got to be all or nothing with them and
they want to set it up that
they look good and you look bad.
So, right away they've got to have these people
that they feel like they can go to start saying
they're the victim.
They might even say that you were the narcissist,
that you wronged them in some way,
that somehow that they should line
themselves up with them and against you.
So, that's number one.
Then they'll start lining up their flying monkeys,
they will start in on their smear campaign,
they will start getting third parties involved
to try to make you feel isolated,
to try to make you feel like the world is against you,
that everyone is believing their lies.
That's number one.
A lot of times you will see them either
cut off credit cards
if they're the money spouse and you're not,
they might actually go in and
take money out of an account.
They might start moving money,
hiding money, draining accounts, changing ownership,
may be signing ownership over to other people,
that sort of thing, and a lot of that can be
accounted for, brought back into the marital estate
accounted for, in the sense that
that person already received that value.
So, therefore the other person is going to
receive equal value from a different asset.
So, sometimes it's not like the worst thing
in the world, that it happened,
but they don't realize that.
So, they go in and they do these sorts of things.
Usually, if they do that sort of thing,
it really reflects poorly on them.
The judges don't like that, they don't like,
like to see that kind of behavior early on,
so it can end up working against them,
but that’s something that you sometimes see them do.
So, number two is the money grab.
Making sure that everything gets blamed on you.
You were the reason why it all went to hell,
that the relationship failed, maybe that you have no money,
that you have to sell the house, that
whatever it is,
the business is in the tank,
the whole reason the whole thing
went to hell is because of you.
If this little sounds familiar so far,
because I bet you guys have seen all of this so far.
That's number three.
Yeah, I know, like, okay,
all of a sudden they're in your face,
“Oh, remember how good we had it?” or,
“You know we could always get along?”
or they'll do anything to save the relationship,
they will go to counseling, when they said,
“Oh I'll never go to a shrink, that'll never happen”.
Oh, now all the sudden they're being super nice and
they're doing all the things that
you wanted them to do in the first place.
Last-minute hustling, to try to do things that
they should have been doing all along,
or major future faking, you know, “I'll change”,
“Everything's going to be different from here on”
By the way, I have a whole video on
future faking, if you want to check that out,
but, that's another thing that they will do.
So, that's number four, last minute love-bombing.
“How are you doing this to them at this time?”
“Oh, I did so much for you” or”
why are you doing this to me now, when I'm sick?” or
that there's all the stuff is happening to me at work
or in my business, or my parents are sick,
or whatever it is…
Like this is just not a good time, or
you're breaking up the family, or
if it's a business relationship,
you had a great thing going and
you're just about to hit paydirt,
it's just about to pop,
It's just about to explode, and
why are you doing this now?
so ungrateful for all the things that they've done,
things like that.
The guilt trip, coverts are especially
they love the guilt trip, coverts love guilt trips,
they love gaslighting, they love passive aggressive moves.
They’re such cowards, such cowards, but,
that's one of the things that they love, is to guilt trip you.
This is the last one.
Again, not an all-encompassing list,
but a lot of the things that
you can expect from them,
when the relationship goes south.
It's probably been going south almost since it started, right?
Or they'll show up at your house,
or they will like push themselves on you.
push an agreement on you,
push themselves for whatever their demands are.
You don't need a lawyer,
they're going to try to say that your lawyer is horrible,
that your lawyer just wants money,
that they're not for you,
that they have too much work, or whatever it is,
they're going to try to get between you and
your lawyer, because your lawyer potentially is
now going to have control over you instead of them.
They definitely want to bad-mouth your lawyer,
but, they're going to bad-mouth anybody that they think
is going to have control over you other than them.
So, they're going to really be flooding you and
pushing themselves on you, in such a way
so that you don't have a chance to breathe,
you don't have a chance to think,
they're going to make you think that somehow
maybe you can work it out, that you don't need money,
to spend money on lawyers,
that that you're being ridiculous or
you're being too rigid and you don't want to be rigid.
So, they try to goad you into things.
So, that's the last one, is just flooding you,
lighting you up, trying to basically envelop you,
so that you can't breathe and move,
don't fall for it.
Once you see these signs, you're going to know,
“Nope, I'm not doing it. I'm not falling for that”.
Because you watch this channel, and because
you have subscribed, yes, you have, and
you've liked this video, you’ve shared this video, and
you've dropped a comment for me, and you've
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at “Narcissist Negotiators”
because you are so ready to break free and
have that new life, feel whole, complete,
honored, valued and setting yourself up
so that you are respected, and that nothing and
no one will ever be able to infringe on that, right?
Thank you so much for stopping by,
I'm Rebecca Zung.
I adore you.
I'm so glad that you're part of my community.
I will see you in the next video.