- We were making out in the backseat.
- One thing led to another.
- I just kinda asked him to put it in.
(awkward laughter)
Then he got out and we put our clothes back on
and I cried.
(nervous laughter)
(upbeat stringed instruments)
- Hey.
- [Interviewer] Whose virginity did you take?
- My husband's.
- My wife, Felicia, took my virginity.
- He was a virgin, I was a virgin.
- Both of us lost our virginity.
- [Interviewer] How old were you
when you took his virginity?
- We were 19.
- I was 15. He was 16.
- I was 19.
- [Interviewer] How old was he?
- He was also 19.
- I just turned 18.
- [Interviewer] Why did you wanna have sex?
- 'Cause I was a teenage boy and, you know,
peer pressure gets to you sometimes.
- We were trying not to and it just
kind of happened.
- [Interviewer] Why were you trying not to?
- We were both raised in Christian communities
and so purity was really emphasized to both of us.
- [Interviewer] When did you make the
decision to have sex?
- At that time? We actually were planning to break up.
- It was kind of a goodbye thing.
It was gonna be a parting gift that
didn't end up being a parting gift.
- We kind of had it planned.
- It was like a kind of spontaneous type of thing.
Like, "Come on, let's just do it," you know?
- The day that we did it was the day before
I had to move out of my dorm.
- We were just in the bedroom. We were like, oh,
we're not gonna see each other through the summer.
So we were like, "Why don't we just do it right now?"
- [Interviewer] How did you prepare for it?
- We didn't.
- [Interviewer] Did you use protection?
- Yes.
- No.
- Just run-of-the-mill gas station
bathroom coin machine condom.
- I masturbated that morning.
- [Interviewer] Why?
- I wanted to give it my best go.
- I know that he went to the gas station to go get condoms.
- I think it was like Trojan Ribbed For Her Pleasure
or something, like, I was like,
these look like they could do it.
- We just like watched videos about it.
I was like talking...
- [Interviewer] Like what kind of videos?
(laugh)
- Like porn.
- Make sure we had condoms.
And we had like a lube,
the little packets that they give you
like at the university.
- We used Vaseline and...
- It wouldn't stay in.
- It was just like a good laugh.
And after we were like,
"That was just horrible," honestly.
- It definitely got better later.
- We were parked on a dirt road
and we were making out in the back seat.
- One thing led to another.
- I just kinda asked him to put it in.
- [Interviewer] How long did that last?
- 20 seconds before guilt and scared
just overwhelmed both of us.
- Then we got out and we put our clothes back on
and I cried.
- [Interviewer] Why were you crying?
Why did you feel that way?
- When you're raised in this purity culture,
especially as a female,
we were shown this piece of duct tape
and then it was stuck to something over and over.
And then they were like, oh look, the duct tape
doesn't work anymore.
The duct tape is worthless.
And then that was compared to
a girl sleeping with someone.
- [Interviewer] Who made the first move?
- He did.
- Me.
- I think maybe it was him?
- He did.
- Me.
- She did.
- [Interviewer] What were you feeling like
in that moment?
- I think in that moment, it was the closest
that I had ever felt to my wife.
- I honestly felt honored that he thought
of me to be the one to lose virginity to.
- [Interviewer] What positions did you try?
(awkward laughter)
- Just missionary.
- Missionary on the back seat.
- [Interviewer] Did you finish?
- I can't remember that, but possibly.
- No, he takes a really long time
and we did not have that kind of time.
- Probably because I masturbate too much.
- I think he spent a little bit too much time
with his computer back then.
- [Interviewer] For the first time,
if you were to rank it on a scale
from one to 10, how was it?
- For the first time? I would say it was about a seven.
I liked it with him being with him,
but we could have just thought about it a lot more.
- I'd give it like a five.
- [Interviewer] Nice. Do you wanna know what he said?
- Yeah.
- [Interviewer] Seven.
- Seven? Ooh.
- Like a seven. It wasn't good, but it was sweet
and we were in love with each other.
- [Interviewer] Seven's good.
- Three and a half.
- [Interviewer] Ooh. She said seven.
- Oh, I think that goes back to that
she-finished-and-I-didn't thing.
- We mostly tried it standing up kind of.
- There was a desk and we had to be really quiet
cause there was other people still in the dorm
like next to us.
- Our legs are different lengths and so I'm shorter.
So it was like, we kind of had to work with that.
- I think the entire time I was just
scared I wasn't doing it right.
I'm not even 100% sure I was all the way in.
- Yeah. It just wasn't really working.
- [Interviewer] Why didn't you tell him?
- To be honest, I didn't want to
lower his self-esteem in that moment.
Or like ruin any kind of the moment.
- [Interviewer] What did you dislike?
- Being cramped in the back of the car.
- I don't know. I was probably just nervous and anxious.
- I felt like it was taking too long.
I had to sit on my tip toes kind of, and then like do that.
And so I was just like drenched in sweat.
- I was kind of like, oh, bummed that it
wasn't like in porn.
- [Interviewer] What could you have done better?
- Known enough about how a woman's body works to know
that I wasn't doing it right.
- I was honored that he had chose me,
but also like, yeah I wish he would've
had more experience and a part of me
cause I wasn't a virgin.
I kind had a lot of pressure
or like I should know what I'm doing.
- [Interviewer] What'd you like about it?
- I like that, I like that we were doing it together.
I liked that we were having fun with it.
- When we kind of got to do it again,
it was like a whole other game. Yeah.
- We really got it down.
- I know it was sex. It was fun. It was exciting.
- I don't know. He's just really sweet.
Always has been.
- [Interviewer] How do you feel about the phrase
"losing your virginity"?
Do you think it's something to be taken or given?
- No. It's kind of like you guys both
are deciding to do it together.
- I hate it. It's so disgusting.
It's so patriarchal.
Nobody asks a guy, "Who took your virginity?"
They ask a guy who they lost their virginity to.
- The term, I think is just outdated.
- [Interviewer] Did you feel different after?
- Back then I felt like, oh, like I got it done.
I loved him a lot more.
- I don't think I really felt any different.
- Don't feel like I lost anything.
If anything, you gain experience.
- [Interviewer] Did you feel like you lost something
after having sex for the first time?
- I was taught to feel like I did.
And I did for a while.
I guess I just kind of started coming to terms with
how ridiculous it was.
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