What do you do when your boyfriend or partner drops the bomb that they want to take a break?
It can be a really tough spot and me and Jermia are going to show you what you need to do next.
Don't forget to download the 10 Male Dating Personalities that Lead to heartbreak,
my free gift for you from the description below. Hit the subscribe button with the bell,
and I'll see you on the other side of this.
[Music playing]
Mark: Hey, so I've been doing a little thinking, and you know, I've been under a lot of stress
with dad and the job and everything that's going on, and I think it might be best if you and I take a break.
Jermia: Yeah, yeah, that's fine mean that's, that's totally fine. You, you just take as long as you need.
Jermia: What? Oh my God! What do you mean you want to take a break? Are you breaking up with me?
Jermia: A break? F*ck you. You just want to go and f*ck someone else. Well, what consider it done. This is over.
A B or C. What do you respond? The most important thing that you need to
be immediately aware of about this situation is this, breaks don't fly. I don't believe in breaks.
I don't believe at them at all. The reason is a lot of men use the word "break"
to sugarcoat or cover up what they really want to say.
Mark: I want to break up with you, but I'm worried it could be the wrong decision.
I don't want you to go through the grieving process and get over me in case it is. Let's take a break.
Mark: I feel like this relationship isn't working, and I want us to both wean off
each other slowly rather than ripping the band-aid like we should. Let's take a break.
Mark: I'm pulling back because I can't handle emotional depth. Let's take a break.
Mark: I'd like to be with some other women, but I'd also like the ability to come
back to you if I decide that I miss you after an unknown amount of time, let's take a break.
Mark: I'm under stress and can't deal with everything that's going on in my life as well as you.
Let's take a break.
You need to get clarity on what he really means, what he's asking for.
Most importantly, you need to get clarity on whether he's asking for space or whether he's really
asking for a breakup. Before we get into exactly how to do the conversation, here's a few pointers.
Number one, keep your cool. When the man asks for a break, it can be easy to fly off the
rocker and say something you regret. It can be easy to beg or or do something desperate
or, or push him away or do any of a whole bunch of responses that are just not helpful.
Make sure you avoid all of these. Take a deep breath and keep your cool.
Number two, no text, zero text. If the guy tries to have this conversation over text, you have to make
it clear that that just isn't happening for you. If he tries to do that, here's a good response you can send him.
Jermia: "I totally get if that's what you want, just know it's not something I'm talking
about with you over text. If you're not feeling things with me, I at least deserve to hear
it from you personally. Come over tonight and tell me in person or give me a call XX"
On to the conversation and how to have it in a high value, respectful way.
It's actually really simple. You don't have to accept it. You're allowed to say no to
a break. In fact, I would recommend that you just flat out say no to a break. You have
that right, the guy has to choose. Don't let him sit on the fence. How do you do it? I'm
going to let Jermia demonstrate it for you.
Mark: Hey., so I've been doing a lot of thinking, and you know, I've been under a lot of stress
slightly with everything that's going on with my dad and my job and all the things that
have been happening, and I think it might be best if you and I take a break.
Jermia: Um, thanks for being honest and, and talking to me. Um, yeah. Is everything okay?
Like really okay? Um, I know that things have been crazy, but I just want to know what's
going on in your head. You know, like whatever you say, I'm not going to jump on you about it.
Mark: Yeah, no, no, everything's fine. I'm just just going through some stuff and yeah,
I think it's best if we take a break.
Jermia: Are you sure?
Mark: Yeah.
Jermia: Can I be really honest with you?
Mark: Yeah. Of course.
Jermia: I know you've been on your a lot of stress at work lately and things being really
rough, but you know, you know I'm always here for you 100%. Honestly, I'm not going to take
a break with you. If you want to take space, that's totally fine and you know, I support
you all the time, but you know, this way we have the assurance that we're still together
and you know, we're not investing in other people. But if you want to break up, if you
want this done, then I need you to be the man for me and tell me you need to do it.
Mark: It's not like I want to be with anyone else and just, I just think I just want to take a break.
Jermia: Okay. Look, you know where I stand. I'm not comfortable with a break, so I'm not
gonna make the decision for you. That's something that you need to do. If you want to stay together
and work through this, you know, I'm always here for you. 100% like you know it's you
and me, we are a team. But if it's done, you need to do it. Obviously something's broken or
you wouldn't be asking for this.
Depending on whether your partner wants space or a breakup. I put videos to
help you with both of those in the description below. Make sure you watch them. I hope the
situation presents for you an opportunity to work on your relationship and to fix the
things that are obviously broken. If not, I hope your partner can at least be honest
with you. Most of all though, I hope you don't get stuck in no man's land. That's so many
women get stuck in when their partner wants a break, unable to have their relationship,
unable to mourn it. Pushing your partner off the fence is hard. Knowing what the consequences
might be. Just remember, hard choices, easy life.
Well, that's the video. Thank you for watching! Let me know your thoughts and your situation
in the comments section below. Give the video a thumbs up and hit the subscribe button with the little bell,
and don't forget the free gift, 10 Male Dating Personalities That Leads to Heartbreak
is also available in the description below. So make sure you have that for your reference reading as well.
Thanks again for watching! Let me know how your situation goes, and I'll see you very soon.
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