you're ready are you ready are you ready
for the best intro iFixit what you hear
when you die just intensive Irish noise
it's yes I put this stuff together and
it finally works I these are water
notice right so clocks in Minecraft I
didn't know what people were talking
about when to say make a redstone clock
and I'm like like to tell time
I don't know ding-ding-ding top of
morning I don't know if there's a better
way of making this I really wish I can
hide all of this stuff I tried to put
wooden slabs all down along in here and
then put all the redstone underneath
that the redstone wasn't actually doing
it because he counts as a half slab and
wouldn't all go in you know whatever
welcome back everyone to Minecraft it's
big minecraft time well guys today oh
it's only big brains allowed in this
episode this is legitimately go to be
awesome because I have some big plans so
big plans for you guys I know that you
have a little short tail and you're
whimpering because you are all hearty
and sad and hell is that chicken Chuck
Chuck what did you do oh I see his egg
as he is egg invader he tried to get
into my castle wait is that Chuck
oh god it's raining it's raining he knew
chuck the god of weather
he did this he made it rain on me oh man
Chuck how did you get into my castle
know Chuck's over here that's not Chuck
what are you doing how did you do this
Oh sheltering yourself from your own
rain huh I see what you do and I see
what you're up to
Chuck you want to see this come down
here I'm outta here Chuck trash eggs
let's see where it landed
oh my god there's another chuck out
there there's another chicken out the
water the invaders are coming they're
coming trying to get into my castle
they're gonna try to strike me
legitimately terrified the chokes are
taking over the cheek chickens they're
gonna come and destroy me okay how is my
ex cause it scared me
let's pray XP farm doing you got a lot
oh yes oh yeah I've kind of just been
leaving this running in the background
I've come in and I've done did a bunch
of stuff at the potato I'm gonna show
you guys in this board I'm gonna show
you lads now what I've been up to all
right is everybody doing good and we're
doing well don't melt my ice palace I
don't even have another polar bear for
this yet I really should get on that
shouldn't okay so I hollowed out the
whole inside of this I want to do a cool
door and this kind of like the one I
have for Shawn's bear but me being big
small brain I don't want to do it yet so
I have this whole area all right and I
know what you're thinking jack that
looks like a freak shame BRR and you'd
be right but not for humans this is
going to be a freak chamber for dogs
because my plan is to create an army of
dogs I'm going to have nothing but dogs
in my army they're all gonna sit down in
here we need to build a throne for Sam
so you can overlook everybody and then
when it comes time to fight the wither
we're going to use our dogs to fight
back see big brain the dogs are all
going to rise up probably dying very
quickly but they're strong so as soon as
the wither attacks enthrall gonna be
like and they're gonna fight back and
kill also this so this is something that
I created you'll see where it goes in a
second
let's do this now because I built an
unlimited XP farm in Minecraft it comes
down here Oh God well where's it going
what's this area
oh yeah the new and improved Irish room
then you an approved pot of gold room I
extended it I made it bigger I made this
whole bar bigger it's not a coach I put
in these like big loungy chairs see this
one right here so people can sit down
there's double tables and stuff it's
pretty epic if I do say so myself I
forgot to put back my brewing stand that
I think is up in a chest upstairs
somewhere yes calm down
so what I want people to do is I wanted
to make the this chamber bigger because
this is going to be our sex dungeon this
is they're gonna come in here and
they're gonna after they have sex
they're gonna ding ding ding this is the
Irish room the spoiled potato room so
they're gonna come down in here I don't
know how to get them out yet I don't
know how this is actually gonna work I'm
gonna have to try and figure this out
maybe put a detector rail I put a door
that will go past as I go through kind
of like a trapdoor I don't know and then
they come in here cuz I'll need to get
rid of the minecart like look and then
they'll have to walk out in here and
then I just throw potatoes at them and
then yep throw potatoes at them and then
they're all gonna make babies that's put
beds in here as well
but because I made the room bigger I was
like oh perfect there's like four
squares per color as a cot symmetrical
now and then I realize that I couldn't
put my pot of gold directly in the
center so now it's over here directly in
the center I know it looks weird because
the flag goes that way instead it
instead of this way whatever
it's the Irish colors you don't know me
stop judging then you get back in the
minecart you flick this
flick this there we go odd words up in
the road I need to put some air torches
down there we also have like a little
Abba area that they can look at and
their way down because let's face it
once they go into the sex dungeon
they're not getting back out nope nope
cool awesome alright so that's all set
up ready to go it I decided I would do
that off camera because let's face it
you guys don't need to see all of that
okay what you guys just need to see the
machinations of my insanity this is
where it really kicks off this is where
Minecrafts about to get really good hey
how are you I need to put torches down
in here because I don't want stuff
spawning in these areas thank you very
much Chuck make it stop I'm sorry okay I
mean I'm not good just make it stop
raining for once
hey Chuck ah all right let's go Dougie's
it's time to go I don't trust this
chicken what do you want for me what do
you want from me I don't have any of the
answers are you trying to okay wait I'll
take your egg where's Chuck
chickity area hopefully he'll see this -
whoa I have some throw on me we'll never
know if that turned into a chicken or
not oh god wait wait oh no this is gonna
be bad
I can already see this going terribly if
I tried to bring you guys downstairs oh
no I have an idea I have an idea um
you're probably just gonna fall this
area so I'm gonna okay okay I don't like
this I don't like this I don't like this
I don't want my dogs to die
I really don't want my dogs today okay
you guys come first come come on doggies
here we go yep come on come on come on
yes yes nice and easy
are you serious one at a time lines come
on use your big brains there we go I
told you no small brains allowed in this
episode if you're a small brain get out
of here but I know you're not cuz you're
watching jacksepticeye play Minecraft
you're a big brain I know you're sad but
it's gonna be fine because once you have
enough sex under your belts you're gonna
you're gonna have a new lease on life
alright come on in this is your new home
spacious huh do you like it do you love
it okay you're gonna have to sit cuz
you're just gonna teleport after me then
okay it worked for the others so for the
love of God please let it work for you
please please please Sam she's conscious
she's come on downstairs come on now
come on there you go there you go yes oh
you guys are even better
oh you guys are even better I love you
you're my favorite dogs come on now Sam
I know you're having flashbacks from
this just don't just don't look down
okay that never happened it was many
summers ago Sam you have a new family
now just forget your old one and live in
the new okay Shere Khan come on in
no you can stay out as well okay you're
gonna be the queen
Sam is she alone are gonna be the king
and queen I'm gonna have to make some I
have to make some Thrones for them maybe
either side here and here and then you
guys can sit on top of those alright
this let's get a little sketchy because
technically what's gonna happen is a lot
of inbreeding but that's how life is
life is just one big giant mutation
that's all that's ever been you know
that story of Adam and Eve's it's a
training force down your throat Adam and
Eve had sex then had babies and then
either cept at the babies or the baby
slept at each other
either way shit's not right but you guys
want this why would you want this this
is this is like eating yourself that
potato looks awful no it's fine it's
glorious okay hey what's up wait no
don't need to do that yet okay okay damn
it
all right you guys you guys can have yo
you guys can have baby we might as well
we're gonna be doing it anyway so okay
move come on in
come on in oh you're so cute your teeny
little legs okay you're about to see
something that you shouldn't you're
about to see something that you
shouldn't have to see for many many
years to come
in fact okay just look this way look
this way okay okay do it do it do it
fast do it fast keep blocking this like
now okay you didn't see okay good
how would have been bad okay good
the army of dogs it begins will you see
in a couple of days this is gonna be
five thousand dogs we have so many dogs
to fight the wither I also need you guys
to have sex
that's it everyone gets a piece everyone
find a lover it doesn't matter if you
actually know of each other as long as
you're having fun but it's okay your
sheep your lives don't matter I want to
build some Thrones so I have some
polished diorite leftover right
technically that's what I've been
building graves out of but also who
cares a throne a throne is just a grave
for somebody who's not dead yet
basically all it is it's a it's a
testament to mankind's hubris so I have
a lot in this stuff anyway and it looks
nice so I'm just going to use it you
know what I don't need to explain myself
to you just leave me alone okay house
diary there you go boom it's nighttime
gamers okay night-night green blue
Shamus Junior junior good night
everybody sleep tight
peasant dreams hopefully my dogs don't
die in that place
I really should put some doors in the
potato that's a sentence I never thought
I'd ever say but potatoes get indoors I
have two doors in here perfect lads it
was meant to be the Irish in me is
Sauron the little potato inside my heart
my heart is a potato okay you guys back
there keep an eye on their chicken
that's in the thing I don't want them
stealing our secrets we should be
careful what I'm saying out loud as well
you never know who's listening okay
[Music]
boop-boop-boop this is exactly what i
did what put some more torches down
because I afraid
Jesus Christ scared myself
oh it's scary being a gamer oh that's
wrong trying to make it look a pic and
you're not letting me nope
we stop oh that make more sense not
really looking exactly how I want you to
look which is really frustrating I
wanted to be awesome
yes yes it's slightly big though maybe I
don't know okay maybe it's the throne
for both of you okay we build one throne
alright Sam and his right-hand lady she
a car it is complete ha
Sam do you like this well Sam and Shia
Khan
I guess yes badass do do do do did okay
come on up you guys can come up here now
this is your throne this is your chair
okay come on come on dougie there you go
she took on Sam so come on I don't have
any leashes on me just do it please
Sam this way come on there you go there
you go attaboy yes this is your seat now
this is your throne cut damn I'm gonna
have to go get leashes that's so badass
like and when you come in the door yes
Sam you're so cool okay come on up here
tonight can I get you to actually like
stay there stay there
it's so cool
Sam the almighty dog Lord and his queens
Shia Khan overseeing I I just realized
that I've literally made a puppy mill
goddammit
okay that's not what it is okay look
everybody Maurice and you guys aren't
old enough yet don't look don't look at
anything that's happening there you go
you go make babes make tiny babes thank
you thank you everybody thank you okay
everybody sit this is the most tedious
part of it
you have to get them to sit down
otherwise they're not go legs goes toot
ok yes this is going really well
my dog army it's gonna rise the honking
happen soon brothers
it's a chokes do it to me right now
actually I need to get I need to start
getting some villagers I don't even know
advantage to go to now to get my
villagers to say one of the villages
around her empty now I either took some
of them or some of them just aren't dere
anymore
there we go I already should turn that
on and turn it off immediately because
if this starts going back up oh we might
be screwed nuts
oh oh so epic okay cool so what I want
to happen is maybe this should be
further up there alrighty so of course
what I want to happen is that when first
the detector rail be I've never used a
detector rail so I don't know how they
work but I want to happen is that I put
a detector rail here that's redstone
actually you don't trigger that do you
maybe I'll put it back over here walking
around it's fine I if you didn't see
anything that was that was fine what I
want to happen what would be beautiful
as if I could have white blocks here but
I don't know how to make it there's a
way of making it so that they go BuChE
BuChE BuChE BuChE I don't know how to do
that so I'm just gonna stick with the
small brain that I know I do technically
need stone but that's all secondary if I
could just get this to work so don't
want to happen is that when it hits this
it opens up a door here and allows the
character to actually get through so
actually I can't have that
because I'm gonna need you to travel a
little bit after that it's like here
okay I can do this and then do like this
destroy you should be able to have
redstone go this way
[Music]
right and then ideally just have two
blocks there right they have to be gone
though and then I have to turn them off
okay I need some repeaters and
comparators oh wait can I even do that
cuz the rail is here oh that might be a
problem wait is that creeper still here
it's gone what's up no what's done no
what's up Gaucho Gaucho run I leave them
in your hands bye
I just said two different things you can
handle it you're a big cat now I was
terrifying
why are you here okay that works now I
just have to make it actually work hi I
don't know how to get that to work right
now I'm kind of wasting too much time
trying to record just a thing so what I
want to do is actually just go get some
villagers pray oh my god alright
headnote I should I can already build
some watch towers here I saw that egg
you put it down and then you thought you
could get away free but not today Chuck
not today you were the one constant in
this game plus pain in my ass
what about like a watch tower here can I
actually know because I ruined it with
this paper we're also showing me no tick
firms or zero tick firms which I kind of
want to build as well apparently they're
much smaller and much faster at doing
this kind of thing so maybe we'll do
that after but maybe belts like
watchtowers in the corners that'll be
epic kind of like this one here the
thing so just it just looks like a fist
at the edge a fist at the edge of my
castle so people know that if they come
this way that's what they're gonna get
fist right up there let's go get some
villagers hello I'm back Toto red rubies
but I go God not him again last time he
was here he killed everybody see I don't
know if I can actually I think they have
to be jobless like you guys kidding haha
is that other chicken still here another
servant of chalk
I see you I see you and I'm not
tolerating any of your beeswax yeah you
see that trash just like you know guys
guys I know it's epic I know you both
want to cut okay I'm gonna get another
boat I know you all want to come because
it's super awesome and you want to be in
Jaclyn what happened here or the well
whoops see this is what happens when an
Irishman just comes into your town
everything gets ruined but at least you
had fun
get out of this one you have a boat and
we're going back to my village light
Jesus Christ well that's good as long as
you guys band together like that back at
my base and you know you do a little bit
of you do the Hokey Pokey and you turn
around and you make a little baby as
long as you guys do that I'm happy now
we have the task of actually trying to
get you into my base okay we've done it
before this is a foolproof method hand
it down from generation to generation
right the septic guys to septic I family
okay cool cool but the doors back on you
can't leave
all right forgot you can open doors yes
open the doors you see this guy's new
friend did it take that I think that I
think that it ready take it all in dude
take it all in you see this lovely place
this lovely green place take it all in
because you are never gonna see it again
because you are just gonna be down in
really the most prestigious room in this
entire establishment Sam I have brought
offering I have brought offering for the
Mighty
mighty dog room okay
turn that off turn to do this do have
any blocks I kind of want to do this
just in case I don't want him getting
out and you hurt okay
wait am i bad at this shop on it some
funny dude do no no it's great it's fun
time it's fun awesome time
no where are you going how dare you this
is how you treat me
I bring you all the way back to Ireland
and this is how this is what you want to
do go over there go over there get into
the minecart get over there get into the
minecart don't look at that that's the
puppy army the good of rice stronger
than anybody take it in the minecart get
in the minecart come on come on gain get
hit
nope nope nope you did this yes there
you go see you later bye bye I just
realized if I to bring a bed down if I
put a cauldron in that room with him the
dudes now down here does that mean he's
going to turn into a witch
are you here please some you're here
yeah I hear you oh it's so awesome okay
cuz the cauldron is here that might make
you a witch if you actually stay here
damn it
ah damn it wait are you selling stuff
that what are you selling a
leatherworker
no what did you get leatherworking from
who taught you this okay
stay there alright I don't think that
this is going to work now cuz you got a
profession you grew up and got a job
it's getting pretty full I'm gonna wait
until it's completely full and then I'm
gonna start pulling out of it when it
gets completely full then this will
start filling up and then I can just
stop it and pull all of the green dye
out and then see how many levels I go up
it does change the higher level you are
so now that I'm level 37 I'll get less I
think if I wasn't such high level I
would get like 30 levels all at once but
because I'm already above level 30 the
games like yeah it takes a little harder
to get a little higher there Boyd really
just a poopy game I
I also saw that I might be able to
actually breed people if they're farmers
or if they have jobs I'm not sure I'm
gonna I'm gonna just try it at least and
if the villager doesn't breed then he's
gonna taste steel what's up gang
since you love so boat boat so much
since you love so boat why don't you
marry boat yeah I got him okay bye II
but whatever's causing to be a leather
worker I should be able to just remove
that and then fix it right or is
minecraft saying that you can't have
kids if you have a career
is that what you're saying my craft
don't be to put more words in your mouth
he's just over there
he's not getting any coast or at least
that's good the invasion has to be going
just yet
dolphin what are you doing here dolphin
a freaking dolphin oh god oh god no oh
god this is bad
okay put another boat down here and then
Troy yours and then you get into that
boat oh god I don't with a dolphin in a
boat
get it up oh hey Topher I'm sorry sorry
this wasn't supposed to happen to you
get out okay thank you
you can come over anytime over any other
time and play with my pokemon cards but
not today
oh don't make me choke I'm just all
swaddling on by to show you that I can
build an army as well you think you're
the only chicken around here who can
build an army well I'm the biggest
chicken wait see this dude this is the
dog army you're gonna do this for me as
well you're gonna build me a human army
one worthy of a Mordor
all right come on in hey no okay saw
nothing okay that's creepy
okay bye bye doggy you do that again I'm
feeding your toes to Chuck okay he'll do
it he'll eat your toes he loves toes
just kidding get him just get in it get
it the minecart dude I know you want to
good come on now bro it's right there
it's right there oh yeah oh oh have it
tasted want it feel it yes yes I did in
the freaking mine Kurt get it yes yes I
see you found the sex dungeon I get in
here no no no no no no can I just there
we go there we go okay come on in you
don't have anywhere else to go now
you're stuck here forever
okay can you stop being a worker come on
I mean look potatoes like those right
potatoes this way ding ding ding papa
morning there you go
I hate to do this I hate to get rid of
my beautiful pot of gold
still another worker though can you stop
that don't don't be that anymore stop
having a job you're not allowed leave
you're stuck here forever this is your
new home I need to make a new bed for
you though this is all wrong but it's
gonna be worth it you're gonna have sex
in the room of Ireland you're gonna have
sexy Irish noises seven actual enter
manners that you oh oh oh God fight me
I need your balls oh don't they they're
come here come here come here Oh stupid
idiot get out of here Anderman good did
he give me one yes I needed that I have
seven there's two where do you go though
you guys are freaking me out first got
him oh oh oh he's gonna kill me he's
gonna kill me
he's gonna kill me oh my god had one
hurt I need him though I need him I need
those I need those eyes I think I don't
need one more and then I have enough to
actually get into the end portal
yes yes yes dude don't look at Irish
[ __ ] lads
I got exactly what I needed and then
please powder
booyaka booyaka oh thank god
I thought I was never gonna be able to
get well not never but I thought it was
gonna take me really long to get enough
eyes of ender to open up the portal
that's it I think it was 9 I needed yes
so now I can actually technically go
fight the ender dragon whatever I want I
mean whatever I want but I'm in no rush
I wish I could bring one more than one
person at a time back
come on minecraft less of the nether
updates and more of the boat updates
let's boat update happening big boat
make a boat can I smelt a boat with a
boat you agree don't you farmer man of
course you do I took you against your
will you're gonna have to agree with
everything I say
oh you don't have a job anymore Oh get
away from your home it's kind of sad but
also really epic for me welcome to
Ireland it's a it's a marvel of the
world this is our mass grave I don't
look at that this is a giant potato
where you're gonna live forever who you
to judge anyway you were affirmed but
they got caught by a boat and then you
couldn't get out at the boat didn't get
into the minecart at least man villagers
they're all about boats but never about
the minecart are they well that way come
on just get it through the carrots dude
bye baby see you later Squidward see
it's awesome right super fun roller
coaster let me hear away
dude okay
bono this is your new family welcome hey
nobody's a leather worker anymore you
guys like hey what's up dude
Larry's the you Hey look time go sippy
hey yeah
party in the house okay I have more beds
for you guys and I just the nicest
Kaptur people who come up to the pub now
are going to be like the cellar there's
like it's nothing it's not a sex dungeon
cult it's awesome
it's just it's the pipes okay I need to
go get sports the plan for this episode
was to get a farmer to do the thing here
but I decided to do much cooler things
in steak so next time because I'm
actually gonna need a lot of potatoes
we're gonna get the farmer to do his job
and you'll calm and he'll do a look at
turn you into a farmer I don't think so
cuz you already have a job and I
upgraded you a lot technically I don't
need you at all anymore maybe I should
bring you down to the the dungeon can
you guys let me know if I if when people
have jobs in this game but he is a job
that he's really high level now I know I
probably can't get rid of his job
because he's so
oh no and so on opportunity he saw an
opportunity was an opportunity to escape
and he took it
damn it's always keep them on a leash
how's my favorite sex dungeon errs doing
pretty good I'd say so here have potato
how do i I'm just gonna put a bunch of
potatoes on the ground you get yes that
actually works use them use the potatoes
oh god you're true Irish people now use
the yes yes do it make the babies make
lots of the babies yes
love each other yeah come on do it come
on dude what was that what was that what
was that simple I don't know what that
meant
there's no babies coming out of you yet
that's bothering me made a weird little
love triangle didn't I
this is the greatest rom-com of the
summer guys they love each other look
dude I don't know what that means
what does that mean am I missing
something just pretend I'm not here I'm
not here I'm one with the wall don't
don't look at them if you don't know
what that means something's wrong
something's off they're not making
babies I have given you beds I have
given you potatoes I have given you room
to roam free what else you want for me
do you want my blood is that what you
want I actually don't know what I'm
missing I think it might be too too
small in here I don't know what to do
how I make babies whatever stay in there
and think about what you did or didn't
do all right last thing I want to do
this thing probably isn't full yet but I
really want to test it out I want to see
just how much oh so close though I want
to see just how much xp we can get out
of this let's let's turn that off so it
accumulates in here okay I'm at level 37
almost level 38 right now let's see what
happens when I pull this out and if this
is worth it oh my god
I went up 11 levels well just over 10
that's the highest level I've been in
this game
which is it is a lot you might think for
all of that time and effort for like 11
levels but this was whether the thing
stuff why did you stop oh I turned you
off and said hey this one whoops
how did you get in here Bobby took a
little worse
where's your ank I know you planted one
somewhere brick I see it smelly smelly
eggs no cakes for you stop walking
across my thing that's not a lot of
levels for what the effort put in but I
was at a really high level already so it
it took some time to build up and it
took a lot of XP to actually go up some
levels so it works pretty decently this
one didn't go in why you're not full
going
there you smelly cactus but if you do
have any tips on different firms that we
could build we could try and build like
a different one to see if that works
because it is this was a lot of time
just to get those levels but at least I
can go in chanting things now I'm kind
of too high level now this is the
highest level I've ever been in
minecraft yes my dog owes breed breed me
the strongest army this is gonna be
awesome and this is good god there's so
many dogs what do I do
I don't even know which ones I fed and
which ones I haven't half the time stand
rise these are some gamer dogs gamers
we're gonna leave that episode here hit
that like button if you enjoyed this
episode which I know you did cuz this
was genuinely super super fun to do I
really enjoy this I like where my world
is going I like that we're actually
doing some pretty dang cool stuff it's
still gonna be a couple episodes before
we try fighting any of the major bosses
cuz I just want to get stuff set up
first you know I think another potato
farm going if I could I mean I would
love to get an iron farm going but let's
face it that's gonna take forever so I'm
probably not gonna do that but epic
stuff is happening subscribe if you're
new because we're gonna do some cool
things in the next few episodes of
Minecraft but until then I'll see all of
you potato gamers then bye bye ding ding
[Music]
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[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]