Hey, welcome to the channel "We Are Sorted," a group of friends
in London looking for amazing things
and food that make you go, wow.
And almost constantly ribbing each other.
Now, two of us are chefs.
And you wouldn't believe the stuff we have to put up with.
But everything we do starts with ideas from you.
[MUSIC - JADED, "PANCAKE"]
Hi, everyone.
I'm Mike.
This is Jamie.
Now, apparently, in this battle, Barry is there.
But I don't remember seeing him anywhere.
Welcome to another Ultimate Battle,
one of our most requested recipe themes ever, Harry Potter.
The boys will go head to head to head
to come up with something fictional that
tastes delicious and is the ideal tribute to the books.
All aboard the Express is leaving.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Right.
Well, we don't have a Sorting Hat.
So we're going to have to play one
of these online quizzes, which I'm sure is just
as accurate as the Sorting Hat.
Which instrument do you find most pleasant?
Trumpet.
Nobody finds that pleasurable.
I'm a Hufflepuff.
I am everybody--
Slytherin.
Knew it.
Do you just go again?
Yeah.
It's a laptop, Ben.
This is the mouse part.
Yeah.
Where the go again button?
I am a Ravenclaw.
Ravenclaw?
I am Slytherin.
Slytherin as well.
I'm Slytherin.
That's a surprise result.
You're a Ravenclaw, as well.
Am I the only nice person?
My Harry Potter battle-winning recipe
is a treacle tart, because that's Harry Potter's
favorite thing in the world.
How do I know that?
Because I've read all the books and watched all the films.
And it starts by making a pastry from a tart case.
I'm making something proper magical for my dish.
It is a Hungarian Horntail goulash, from Goblet of Fire.
You know what Goblet of Fire is, Barry?
My knowledge of Harry Potter is somewhat limited.
I have not read the books.
I've watched, like, half a film.
I couldn't make it through the whole film.
Turns out Harry Potter likes wands.
You're making a chocolate wand because of Harry Potter?
Yeah.
I can't work out where this recipe starts,
because I haven't got a recipe.
Who-- that was you.
That was so plainly you.
I need to start mine with a biscuity base.
So I've got--
I know.
I'm going to combine my eggs, my milk, and my almond extract
together.
And then, I'll mix that in with my sugared butter.
First up, I've got to make the sauce for my goulash.
I'm steeping some porcini mushrooms
in some boiling water.
I'm going to peel and slice an onion and a pepper.
Get that cooking in some lard.
So there was something about getting that creamed together
and then adding a bit of flour in at a time.
I've rubbed butter into flour to a bread crumb consistency.
And now, I'm putting in sugar and some lemon zest and an egg.
I brought my pastry together.
That needs to go into a fridge to chill.
Ben, look at that.
This now gets rolled out to about a centimeter thickness.
And I'm going to line my tart case with it.
So Mike's doing treacle tart.
No place to hide.
The pastry has got to be crisp and golden and perfect.
It's got that little hit of lemon in there.
And the treacle filling, if it's too sweet, that's fine.
That's what a treacle tart is.
But if it hasn't got the scent of a woody broomstick handle,
then it's not doing the task for Harry Potter.
Jamie's contribution is clever.
He's built in loads of elements from the fictional book.
But if it's all fiction and theater and there
isn't any substance to the flavor and the balance
and the seasoning and the well-cooked venison,
than that's where that might fall apart.
This flour's an idiot.
Hottest day of the year so far.
So here's some good recipes to make, pastry, melted chocolate.
Stop it.
Mate, what are you doing?
Stop it.
No.
No?
You sure?
No.
This wand's got a really thick end now.
Have you seen a wand before?
That's not beer.
Let's make a treacle tart filling.
Zest of a lemon, juice of a lemon, breadcrumbs, golden
syrup, maple syrup, black treacle, and ground ginger.
It's brown sugar.
No.
Get.
Oh, you little--
I'm doing it differently now, because food
is about how you feel.
And I didn't feel like putting it in the fridge.
This is dangerous now.
Two bad things have happened.
I forgot to chill my pastry before it went in the oven.
And now, my recipe is ash.
I'm going to say that that's the bit that
said chill your pastry before putting it in the oven.
My onions and peppers have sweated out.
I've added in some paprika, some caraway seeds, and some flour.
I've let that cook out.
Now, it's time to go in with beef stock, water,
and porcini mushrooms.
When are we going to get to the bottom of this whole
your recipe thing?
Am I making it?
What was your level of input?
If you had to mark your input out of 10?
I didn't give James much input into my recipe.
Much?
Any input into my recipe.
Ow.
[BLEEP] idiot.
Ow.
I don't think we've got anything to worry about in this battle.
We're going, food.
And Ben goes, oh.
Take it all back.
Anything we can--
I'm going again.
I'm not entirely sure what to expect of this wand biscuit.
Hopefully, a good snap from a biscuit, buttery,
plenty of chocolate.
But it's the wow I'm looking for.
Otherwise, it's just a biscuit.
So my bag, I guess I have a punch.
But it's OK.
I'll just rest my finger atop.
It should be absolutely fine.
Oh, that looks much better, mate.
Good job you redid that.
I'm so sorry for doubting you the first time.
Oh, the battle has heated up.
Back in.
25 minutes.
I assume that ginger that I have not used
should've gone into that filling.
So I'm just going to tell Ben that he
should be tasting ginger.
Please tell me, did you put the ginger in?
Yeah, yeah.
Is that tempered?
No, oh.
It was cheap.
It doesn't-- that's a step, isn't it?
Why wouldn't you temper it?
Because we're going to eat these really quickly.
Therefore, it doesn't really matter.
Also, we're going to dip this in white chocolate.
So it's going to go white anyway.
You want that?
Do I want it?
Yeah.
Hey, what are you getting?
What are you getting from that?
Nothing along the lines of flavor.
You are a genius, because you do not need
to cover those in chocolate.
No.
You skipped a step.
Do you think?
That looks like you pulled a wand out of--
What?
Go on.
Finish it.
[BLEEP]
[WHISPERING]
Nice.
OK.
This now needs to chill.
Oh.
This is how you make lemon creme fraiche.
Lemon into creme fraiche.
Half a lemon.
So you've done one layer of chocolate.
Is this now the tempered layer?
No.
So the tempered layer's coming in at the very end?
No.
I'm still waiting for the aha moment.
I will buy you a butter beer after this, because you're
having a shocker, aren't you?
If these close-up shots are really shaky, it's because Ed--
Is just laughing.
Laughing.
I can't wait to get these in the sexies.
[LAUGHTER]
Let's talk about Hungarian Horntail.
Now, it's pretty difficult to get
authentic Horntail this time of the year in the UK.
So what I've done instead is go for venison,
from Scotland, JK Rowling's home.
You get where I'm going with this.
Venison steaks, we're going to rub them in paprika
and then cook them at the table theatrically.
Give my recipe a chance.
It's not a chili.
So I don't actually-- oh, no.
I've lost it.
I think it's gone.
I think it's too late.
My ratios are wrong for my ganache, like really wrong.
Could you have done with cube of dark chocolate?
What you've got to think is is this going to improve?
You could save that.
I could save that.
I can not save that.
Oh.
Guilty.
Whoa.
I would have just done that bit by bit.
[LAUGHTER]
I don't think the cream is my biggest issue.
It's all the same thing, mate.
It is so hot in here.
It's 27 degrees in here.
It's not hot enough.
I mean, half the concern is I've still
got half a dish to cook once we get to the table.
But it could be worse.
Shut up.
Let's get this in the sexies.
[MAGICAL MUSIC]
If you set the fire alarm off, you're disqualified.
Can we have one of those fans over here maybe?
I'm getting nervous now.
This is all starting to kick off.
And I don't like it.
Butter, lemon, lemon juice.
Jamie, you're going to set the alarm off.
James, you said you were going to bring fire.
That's definitely going to set the fire alarm off.
No.
It's a Goblet of Fire.
I'll give you that.
Goblet of Fire.
That's not a goblet.
The theater is that you don't know whether you're
watching a comedy or not.
I have to say, Jay, that is a world first for a Sorter
Ultimate Cooking Battle.
You almost didn't panic.
Almost didn't panic at all, not a single bit.
The mushroom and the peppers give it
that kind of savory bitterness with that kind
of charred paprika.
There's a lot of thought went into this, before you even
started of cooking.
Well-executed.
All fair comments, right?
Now, if I ever want to be impressed,
it would be with the wooded scent--
woody scent of a broomstick.
Smell that stump one, mate.
Beautiful consistency of creme fraiche.
Slightly lemony.
Is it cooked pastry?
I didn't get any of my creme fraiche.
Oh, you sucked it and now I don't want it.
It's well-cooked, buttery, golden around the edges.
Couple of places it's fallen back.
We know why.
It could've rested a little bit before it went in the oven.
But--
You can taste the ginger cut through.
You can taste the other woody stuff,
just like a broomstick, Ben.
That's the most unique delivery we've had at the table.
Don't start judging them already, mate.
You haven't even tried that one.
Taste my wand.
Dip it in the lavender and milk chocolate
and lemon Slytherin sublime slime.
Presentation is on point.
What point?
They are, well, saved by the box.
They're saved by the box.
Did I say, saved by the box?
I did, yeah.
Yeah, you did
They look great in the box.
There's not many places to hide.
Pastry and filling here.
Biscuit and chocolate.
I'm going to dip as well.
The structural integrity of them is not great.
As it was, a little bit soft, because the chocolate
hasn't set.
So i need to pick a winner.
As always, you guys get to pick one too,
by using the poll up above.
All of the recipes are available down below.
But this week--
Don't just roll me out quickly
My favorite tribute--
If I come third, I'm going to be absolutely devastated.
I'm going to be devastated.
My favorite tribute to Harry Potter,
because every wand is unique and points the magic to the flames,
I think it has to be Jamie.
[CLAPPING]
I can ask, what else is there?
Without a doubt, that was a great dish and well-thought
through to playing with the theme.
Can I just say, I think this is the first battle I've
won this year.
He still hasn't said who's come second
and I don't know who he's doing a favor.
OK.
In that case, third place is the wands.
That is a delicious, delicious tart.
I've won nearly all the battle this year.
This is the first time I haven't won--
Burger.
Second time I haven't won--
Seafood battle.
Third time I haven't won.
I like coming second.
Well done.
Well-baked, well-baked.
That's a wrap.
Back to the fridge.
Smashed it.
He smashed it.
I was going to ask you to comment down below with who
you think should win.
But after that, I think there's only one choice.
He smashed it.
Comment down with who you thought won.
No one's won now.
We're all losers.
Speaking of losing--
Bazza's here?
You're setting up that joke, aren't you?
I hate you so much.
Why would you do that?
The first restaurant on the moon opened last week.
Yeah, mixed reviews.
Apparently, the food's great, but no atmosphere.
Yeah?
I smiled.
Yeah, you did.
We'll see you on Wednesday or Sunday at 4 PM.
We're always here.
As we mentioned, Sorted it is just run by a group of friends.
So if you like what we're doing, then there
are loads of ways that you can support us and get
more involved.
Everything you need to know is linked below.
Thanks.
And we hope to see you again in a few days.
[SINGING "HEDWIG'S THEME"]
No.
Cause that will just--
this is polyester.