Are you Dunkey?
Yeah
(dead) what
Imhotep!
I've stumbled onto some kind of satanic ritual...
*Imhotep! I've stumbled onto some kind of satanic ritual...
I've stumbled onto some kind of satanic ritual...
*Imhotep! I've stumbled onto some kind of satanic ritual...
*Imhotep!
*Imhotep! (more intense)
*Imhotep! (quietly) What is this guy? *quiet laughing*
(quietly) What is this guy? *quiet laughing*
*Imhotep! (quietly) What is this guy? *quiet laughing*
*Imhotep!
Imhotep
Okay we got to pray now that we have our fire
Would you like to start the prayer sir?
Uh, I would just like to dedicate this fire to the ancient god Imhotep...
...and all the good stuff he's done for us
And you Shrek, could you say a word please?
♫ Smash Mouth - All Star plays ♫
*so what's wrong with taking the backstreets*
*never know if you don't go*
*never shine if you don't glow*
Okay, thank you Shrek
Now use the stealth training
That I've given you
You'll have to use all your techniques if you wanna get this guy
..And the bear is chasing him
Oh no ..And the bear is chasing him
Oh no no no no no
Whoa
Our own fortress
Wow wee
What have I done..
Yeah, you have to break it
(muffled) What have you done
Are you guys stuck in there?
Can you get out?
Yep Can you get out?
Shoot 'em
NOW
I don't like his arms
Imma be honest I don't like his arms
Why should we keep you alive?
Give me one reason
I got
I got, I got
this
and I got this
I'm a door to door shirt salesman
Yeah I want a shirt
Yeah give me a shirt, let me see a shirt
That ain't no shirt
Shoot this motherfuck!
Son of a bitch!
This ain't no shirt at all!
The only shirt you're going to have is the dirt shirt
He's too far
Ow
Huhuhu
Nonono Guy: (distant voice) hi dunkey, I am coming for you
Is there somebody out there?
Nonono Guy: Hiiiiii
(sigh)
(sigh) kill this guy
Nonono Guy: nononono please nonono I am American
Dunkey: Kill him Nonono Guy: nononono please nonono I am American
Shrek: Get ready. Nonono Guy: nononono please nonono I am American
Dunkey: Kill him Nonono Guy: nononono please nonono I am American
Nonono Guy: I have freedom
Nonono Guy: You can't kill me
Nonono Guy: I like you motherfucker ding ding
Nonono Guy: motherfucker
Dunkey: Shoot him
Nonono Guy: nonono
Nonono Guy: no please don't, I like you, I like stream
Dunkey: kill him Nonono Guy: I am..
Nonono Guy: ..subscribed, I am subscribedino
Dunkey : Fucking Shot him
Nonono Guy: please, no copy pastarino
Nonono Guy: please
Nonono Guy: nonono
Dunkey: Shoot this guy
Nonono Guy: I like your moobies
Nonono Guy: I- (Cut off by bullet)
Other guy: got him
Dunkey: (Laughs)
B-Nuts: Oh god, there's
B-Nuts: This dude in black armor coming
Dunkey: Huh
Shrek: Uh oh RUN TO THE, RUN TO THE HOUSE
Dunkey: What? no no no? Oh God, oh God
Shrek: I think we're screwed
Dunkey: No we got all this stuff
B-Nuts: I think this is the end
Dunkey: No no no, we make our last stand here
They hav- if they come up here we shoot em
B-Nuts: I got an idea, as soon as he comes in the house we jump out the window and book it
Dunkey: No no, we stand and fight
♫ Adele - Skyfall ♫ Dunkey: No no, we stand and fight
♫ Adele - Skyfall ♫
♫ Adele - Skyfall ♫ Dunkey: (laughs)
♫ Adele - Skyfall ♫ Dunkey: (laughs) Turn that shit off
♫ Adele - Skyfall ♫ Is that you Shrek? *It's definitely Shrek*
Dunkey: No
Shrek: I'm sorry but I don't think we're gonna make it out of this one
Dunkey: We're killing em' Shrek: I'm sorry but I don't think we're gonna make it out of this one
Shrek: I'm sorry but I don't think we're gonna make it out of this one
Dunkey: We're killing em' Shrek: I'm sorry but I don't think we're gonna make it out of this one
Dunkey: This is easy. They come up here we shoot em'
Shrek: We need to use the element of surprise
Dunkey: We shoot this guy
Shrek: Don't go down, don't go down
Dunkey: He's not even down here
He's...
OH SHIT *Gunshots*
HE'S DOWN HERE
HE'S DOWN THERE
*laughing* God...Oh God...
*hushing*
Dunkey: I fucked up...
We're dead. We're dead. We're dead.
We're dead. Oh, we're dead.
Oh, we're dead, we're dead
Shrek: I think maybe we're screwed
Dunkey: If we make a run for it..
Run for it.
*gunshots* Oh, fuc-! *laughing*
Oh God!
Shrek...!
Shrek's dead!
Oh no!
I broke my guy's leg!
My leg...!!
B-Nuts: (laughing) Dunkey: No! I can't move! (still laughing) I'm nice! Please! No! No! (keeps laughing)
Dunkey: No! I can't move! (still laughing) I'm nice! Please! No! No! (keeps laughing)
Shirt man? You're lucky I don't have a gun right now, shirt man.
Unknown: Hello!?
Dunkey: Who is that?
Unknown: Hello!
Dunkey: Another guy?
Another guy: Hey! Hey!
Dunkey: Who is this?
Another guy: Hey are you- Don't hurt me!
Dunkey: Iron Tarkus!
Iron Tarkus: I like your videos...alot..It's me Iron Tarkus. Remember me? I helped you beat that guy.
My tribe were an innocent people, B-Nuts and Shrek.
We would send people on their way, and help them, giving them items.
Until the dark times.
The Machine Gun Man gunned them down, and killed me.
Now I must have my revenge, and find my tribe.
Nonono Guy: Hellooooo I am back, motherfucker!
Dunkey: Oh no.. Nonono Guy: Hellooooo I am back, motherfucker!
Dunkey: No... Not this guy... Nonono Guy: Hellooooo I am back, motherfucker!
Dunkey: No... Not this guy... Nonono Guy: (Laught intense)
Kill 'em
Nonono guy: Hello..
Dunkey: Kill 'em! Nonono guy: ..Oh my fucking.
Nonono guy: ..You cannot kill me.
Dunkey: Hit him with your rocks Nonono guy: No no no..
kill 'em!
Nonono guy: No no no, motherfacker I subscribe with two accounts..
Nonono guy: ..No I make two more money for you, no no no!
Dunkey: Kill em' Nonono guy: ..No I make two more money for you, no no no!
Nonono guy: ..No I make two more money for you, no no no!
Dunkey: Kill em' Nonono guy: ..No I make two more money for you, no no no!
Nonono guy: I'm gunna make a new account every day, no no no.
Dunkey: Oh my fucking god...
Nonono guy: No no.
Dunkey: Beat this guy to death with your rocks!
Nonono guy: No no.
Dunkey: Kill em' Nonono guy: No no.
Dunkey: Erhh, I missed..! I keep missing!
Nonono guy: Dunkey, motherfacker I hear yo-
Oh dunkey!
DUNKEY!
Nonono guy: [*screaming] AGRRHHH!!!
Dunkey: kill 'em, zombie!
Nonono guy: [*screaming] AGRRHHH!!!
Dunkey: I almost got him!
-almost got him!
Nonono guy: HAHAHAHA!!!!
Oh, one of our guys died!
Nonono guy: HAHAHAHA!!!!
Dunkey (laughing): God dammit.
*Dunkey laughing*
Nonono guy: DON'T KILL ME!!!!
Dunkey (laughing): Just fucking kill him!
*Dunkey laughs*
Just kill the fucking guy!
Nonono guy: MOTHERFACKE-
*Dunkey gasps*
You got em'
Nick killed him!
He has slain the loudcomer
..Hail king Nick.
Iron Tarkus: All hail Nick..
..King of the penguins.
Dunkey: Make some, uhh...
...ore here.
Other: Why do you have this mask on?
Dunkey: OH, Whoah..
Dunkey: It's the machine gun man..
We don't, we don't want any trouble-
-no trouble here.
Aside: Put it down.
Put it- *gunshot*
Dunkey: Ow, oh god
Oh god
Psychopath
Oh please, please
I've collected so many things
Please don't shoot us
I have..
..over...
...I have over four rocks
Wait, did you just..
..you just gave me a gun
This is for Shrek!
Fuck you, machine gun man!
Other: Yeah get em' dunkey, yeah!
Dunkey: What an idiot!
Why would he give me a machine gun?
Unknown: Hello boy..
Unknown: How you doing?
Unknown: How you doing boy?
Unknown: I am looking for dunkey
Dunkey: Get ready to shoot this Unknown: I am looking for dunkey
Unknown: Is Dunkey up here..
Kim Jong Un: Oh dude dunkey
Kim Jong Un: Yeah!!
Dunkey: What do you want?
Kim Jong Un: How are you doing?
Kim Jong Un: I am looking for North Korea
Dunkey: You just passed it
Dunkey: You literally just passed it up
Dunkey: My thoughts exactly
Kim Jong Un: No I didn't... No... Dunkey: Shoot him.
Kim Jong Un: NOOO!!! Dunkey: Just shoot him.
Kim Jong Un: NORTH KOREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*ha ha ha
(kim jong un dies)
Dunkey: he just fell over dead...
Who's sayin' "Dunkey"?
Dunkey: There's a guy out in the distance
Dunkey: Get ready to shoot this guy
Dunkey: Oh it's Kony.
Dunkey: Kony the Phoney Others: It's Kony! You gotta get Kony!
Shoot em'
Kim Jong Il, you are a piece of trash!
Dunkey: You will be thrown away! WITH A MACHINE GUN!
Dunkey: You see what happens, Kony?
Dunkey: Do you see what happen-
Dunkey: These guys got guns.
Kill em! Kill em all!-
Take their guns!
(shooting)
Take no prisoners! (ded) Oh, shit!
Guys, guys, this thing was just between me and you, okay
Don-don't take it out on my tribe p--
(Rest of tribe dies)
In a heartbeat, my peaceful tribe was gunned down, for no reason.
We did nothing to nobody.
(Nonono guys appears) Oh my fucking god!
Nonono Guy: Motherfacker, you are so wrong! Dunkey: How does he keep finding me!?
Fack you! I will always be here, motherfacker!
Do it now, or I go a- AHH
Nonono Guy: (loudly screams)
Nonono Guy: No no no, you no- (loudly screams again)
Nonono Guy: No no no motherfacker, I have my dive move! Dunkey: Sh-shut up!
Nonono Guy: You can't even get me-(Dies)
Dunkey: Well, it's a good thing I brought my kill move then.