This is not gonna be easy.
What do you think about the taste?
There is no taste.
We're getting to the bottom of the important stuff
during these trying times.
Today we're answering the question,
how many Grape-Nuts can one man eat?
Or really how many Grape-Nuts can two men eat?
This is more Grape-Nuts than I've every seen or held.
That's five boxes.
It feels like a number of pounds.
For whatever reason, I was given the responsibility
of procuring the Grape-Nuts, which I have done.
Now I must take Link's portion of his Grape-Nuts
to his home, which I am doing.
A man's gotta share his Grape-Nuts.
That's an old proverb.
Hey.
The Grape-Nuts have landed.
Make the drop at my back door.
Back door, huh?
Yeah, back door of this thing.
Your nuts will be at your back door in just a second.
Have a feeling my back door's gonna be involved
a lot tonight or first thing tomorrow.
Safety first, mask going on, oh gosh, oh gosh, oh, oh.
How long does it take to get to a man's back door?
Okay, here we go.
Maybe he's at the wrong house.
Hey!
Don't come any closer!
It's Grape-Nuts.
Two boxes, come to the window, it's safe.
We can social distance because of the window.
What?
Put your face right in there.
There we go.
Hey.
I got a gun.
Hang on, let me get,
my dog's making a lot of noise, I can't hear ya.
You seriously can't come down off the bed yourself?
Here, come here.
Tell your dog to shut up.
It's Rhett, he's just got a mask on.
Is she afraid of Grape-Nuts?
She's afraid of you, you have a mask.
These are the most expensive Grape-Nuts
that anyone has ever experienced.
I'm afraid to go into the grocery store,
so I had to do one of those things where you get somebody
on the internet and you pay them to go get you stuff
and I just wrote in there, I need Grape-Nuts ASAP
and a man brought me five boxes of Grape-Nuts.
Five is all he could get?
He gave me five, I'm gonna keep three.
I'm gonna give you two because I think
I could probably eat more Grape-Nuts than you.
How much did it cost?
$100.
$100?
$100 for his services, included the Grape-Nuts.
How many boxes total?
Five.
You're only giving me two?
You can't eat as many Grape-Nuts as me.
You think you can get through two boxes of Grape-Nuts?
I think I can get through three boxes
of Grape-Nuts, that's why I kept three for myself.
You gotta be prepared to bring me
that third box if you fail.
Gladly. Okay, there they are, enjoy.
All right.
I'll call you in a little bit,
we'll start eating.
See ya.
Jay, what is that? Grape-Nuts.
Okay.
Lando, you want some Grape-Nuts?
Sure.
You can try any 'cause your daddy's
gotta eat 'em all now that they are--
One speck?
You can try one speck later, yeah.
Sanitized.
Okay, you there, Link?
Yes, I'm here.
We are connected via earpiece.
You got your two boxes of Grape-Nuts?
They have been sanitized now.
When's the last time you ate Grape-Nuts?
Oh, I didn't tell ya.
I sanitized your Grape-Nuts already.
Oh, I re-sanitized them.
Well, when you sanitize a man's nuts,
you should tell him I guess, so I take it, you know.
We should probably explain what Grape-Nuts are
because I asked Lily and Lincoln, I was like,
you now what Grape-Nuts are?
They had some dumb guesses.
Well, I could, you having trouble?
Oh gosh, I can't open 'em.
Yeah, you have to be a man in need
of large amounts of fiber in order to be able to open these
with your hands, which apparently that's me.
I'm gonna need to get scissors or something.
You can't open your Grape-Nuts?
Okay, you forfeit, I win.
Let's establish what Grape-Nuts are.
It's looks like a box of sawdust.
First of all, Grape-Nuts...
They're not grapes.
And they ain't nuts.
Most people eat Grape-Nuts when they need
some extra fiber in their diet.
Like my mom and dad always had these growing up
and as a child, I'd get in there on it.
But I will let you know what you're in for, Link,
as I see you're already consuming a little bit.
Boy, it's crunchy.
If we consume an entire box of this,
and I plan on consuming three, I will have 270%
of my dietary fiber for the day, 70 grams of fiber.
Basically Grape-Nuts are cereal for old people
that need to like get their lower GI system in motion.
You ready to pour a bowl?
Let's do it.
It didn't make a dent in the box.
This is some dense stuff.
What kinda milk you got there?
Almond milk.
I got coconut milk.
It's like pouring water into sand on a beach,
it just disappears.
Oh, it did, sucked it right out, didn't it?
Well, we might as well quit talking and start eating.
Cheers.
Oh my god.
It's like eating rocks.
That's one spoonful.
I'm still going.
Oh my gosh.
Based on that first spoon,
I have very little hope.
This is not gonna be easy.
What do you think about the taste?
There is no taste.
I think it's a pretty good taste.
I need some sugar, man.
It needs some like, some honey or something.
My jaw is repeatedly popping already.
I'm on bite three.
Me too.
I mean, if you put a pound of this in your stomach,
it might just stop there.
I think my system's a little different than yours
because it's gonna take everything that I've consumed
over the past 72 hours, just grab it up like a dump truck
and send it along it's way.
I've never had one bowl of Grape-Nuts,
much less a box.
They're not getting any softer.
Uh-uh.
They're completely impervious to the milk.
This is the crunchiest milk-laden substance
I've ever tried to consume.
How is it that the milk can't get into it?
Like a rock.
If you need to keep milk outta something,
then just build a wall of Grape-Nuts.
I didn't eat lunch 'cause I knew we were gonna do this.
This is my fourth spoonful and I feel totally satisfied,
like I am not hungry in the least.
I got a recipe for a parfait on the back.
That looks good because I'm looking at the other parts.
Well, we might as well learn a little bit about Grape-Nuts
while we're here.
Grape-Nuts wiki.
I didn't realize until right now,
it's grape dash nuts, did you know that?
Yeah, why do they call it Grape-Nuts?
It's got nothing to do with either one of those words.
It sounds like you're eating the seed of a grape,
and you know what, that is kind of what it's like.
It should be called grape seeds.
I think they're incredible.
I mean I gotta say, I'm hitting a rhythm right now.
I'm experiencing lower back pain.
Grape-Nuts is, not Grape-Nuts are,
a breakfast cereal developed in 1897.
What?
By C.W. Post, a former patient, and later competitor,
of the 19th century breakfast food innovator
Dr. John Harvey Kellogg.
What were they competing?
The cereal originally prepared by C.W. Post
when developing the product was a batter
that came from the over as a rigid sheet.
He then broke the sheet into pieces and ran them
through a coffee grinder to produce the nut-size kernels.
That sounds about right.
What the?
If you gotta take a hammer out and batter something
in order to get it where you can eat it,
this is where you end up.
I'd really like to have a grape-sheet.
You could put that on your roof, man.
They used to market this.
In the year 1900 there was a Grape-Nuts ad
that said you can feel 10% cooler than the thermometer
by using proper food.
Grape-Nuts.
What does that even mean?
You can feel 10% cooler,
like literary it will cool you down?
Yeah, don't you feel it?
I'm getting hot, man.
I'm working hard.
Oh.
Grape-Nut ice cream is a popular regional dish
in the Canadian Maritimes.
My stomach is starting to really,
I mean, I've got this much more in my bowl.
Look at me.
You got a little less than me,
but it does get a little softer if you let it sit,
but not that much.
I'm really having time of my life.
How do you feel about eating three boxes?
I don't like to think ahead that far.
I just gotta add some more milk to what I have.
I'm going in for bowl two, bro.
Remember in college when our friend Brian
introduced us to the world of fiber?
Oh, yeah.
Mix up fiber like Metamucil and he started saying,
hey man, it'll make you so regular.
If they don't float, something's wrong.
Yeah.
I'm finding Grape-Nuts in the back of my throat
and I'm having to swallow them.
No, those are the best Grape-Nuts.
Something you get to look forward to is your second bowl.
Starting to taste bad.
And the crispiness and the crunchiness
has been fully restored.
It's like a whole different cereal.
Why are we doing this again?
Because somebody needs to.
I feel like I'm starting to cramp up.
Really?
This is not natural, man.
This is the most natural thing ever.
Think about how much bigger your stomach
is than my stomach.
That's not how it works.
Yes, it is.
So because I'm bigger than you,
everything about me's bigger than you?
Okay, I'll take that.
Not everything, but your stomach.
How you doing on your second bowl?
I'm ignoring what feels like the foundation of a home
being built in my stomach right now.
I'm refusing to acknowledge that it definitely feels like
I've just poured cement into my stomach.
I'm starting to sweat, man.
It's not making you 10% cooler?
No.
I think it meant 10% cooler, you know what I mean?
Like hipper?
Yeah.
If you can eat a whole box of Grape-Nuts,
I'll pay for all the Grape-Nuts.
In this economy, you tell me that's $100.
I think I can do it.
There's no way you can eat a pound of this stuff.
I think I can.
I might have to take a bathroom break.
You think it's gonna go through ya that quick?
I mean, that's the silver bullet.
It's not a silver bullet, it's a big brown bullet.
And probably more like a rocket.
All right, I just finished my first bowl
and my stomach is full.
Here's the thing, the size that was in my bowl
has not changed, it's been placed into my stomach.
I'd be lying if I didn't say that I'm
beginning to notice something.
Pain, right?
I think my body's just saying hey, hey, hey, hey.
We haven't had Grape-Nuts in a while, but whoa, boy.
I feel like I need to do some sorta like settling.
Oh.
I gotta make it settle.
Okay.
This might be like that milk-drinking challenge.
It's something you can't do it, like it's an impossibility.
This is not the thing that I wanted to find out.
What else could you have found out about today?
Well, we could have read all about Grape-Nuts
without eating them.
Matter of fact, I can still do that.
Yeah, but you wouldn't have the connection to 'em.
During the 1940s, comic books from various companies
featured one-page comic strip ads staring Volto from Mars,
a thinned, red, helmet-clad alien superhero visiting Earth,
who like all Martians, recharged his magnetic powers
by eating Grape-Nut flakes which he proclaimed,
"the best I ever tasted."
We should have got the flake, not the nut, man.
Well, that's got nothing on the 1939 ad campaign
by cartoonist Walter Hoban who continued
his "Jerry on the Job" comic strip
in "Woman's Day" magazine.
It's putting off a dust.
It featured a character named Little Alby
to gain inordinate strength after consuming
a bowl of Grape-Nuts.
Link, that's what we gotta find.
We gotta find our inner Little Alby.
Inner Alby.
You're grunting.
In the 1960s, advertising promoted Grape-Nuts
is a cereal that fills you up, not out.
Yeah, because you eat a little bit and you're like,
I can't eat anything else today.
Brand users, particularly mother-daughter lookalikes
were shown engaged in fitness activities
such as tennis, horseback riding, skiing and swimming.
That's what we need.
We need to watch some videos of mothers and daughters
skiing and playing tennis.
We can get out of our homes if we keep up this habit,
we'll be doing all types of like equestrian activities.
Bowl two, gone.
Are you serious.
I'm Little Alby.
How...
Little Alby found his calling.
How are you doing this, man?
I'm gonna finish this whole box, look.
No way.
I'm gonna do it.
Dude, you're not gonna do it.
Oh yeah.
You're not gonna do it.
Believe it, son.
I need to take a lap though.
You gotta reach down inside.
You gotta reach.
You gotta find that Little Alby and you gotta pull him out
and you gotta set him on the table and you gotta say,
you to you, Alby.
I'm not hiding a Little Alby inside of myself.
Well, you know, if you can't find a Little Alby,
why don't you find--
Find what?
Euell Gibbons.
He became the spokesperson for the brand,
promoting Grape-Nuts as the back to nature cereal.
The line, "ever eat a pine tree?
"Many parts are edible," drew attention to the product
from consumers as well as from comedians.
Ever eat a pine tree?
Yeah, that's a perfect way to describe my experience.
They sold these.
Have you ever walked up to a tree
and just bit the side of it.
Yeah, find your inner Euell Gibbons, man.
Eat that tree.
I might as well be eating the box itself
at this point.
I'm grinding down my molars.
That's not good for you because you know you
got a lot of extra molar wear.
I want you to eat the whole box, Rhett.
If you can eat a whole box, a pound, 581 grams,
I will give you respect.
Give me some motivation, man, 'cause I'm losing heart.
All right, close your eyes and picture a pine tree forest.
Now open your mouth and walk forward.
No, don't open your eyes.
You can't even follow instructions.
Close your eyes.
Picture a pine tree forest.
Open your mouth, walk towards it.
There you go.
Mmm.
Oh my gosh, do you need--
I didn't know all parts of a pine tree were edible.
Do you feel like you're recharging your magnetic powers?
Yeah, definitely.
Man, good pressure.
Let me see your bowl.
That is your third bowl?
Yeah.
Dang, man, look, this is my second bowl.
Don't give up so soon.
Listen, I've been the one giving all the grape facts.
All right, all right, let me hit you.
At one time, Grape-Nuts was the seventh most popular
cold breakfast cereal, but sales declined
as other cereals were invented.
Around 2005, it held what percentage of the market?
Probably about 1%.
See you're right, Rhett.
You have a connection to Grape-Nuts, man.
I had already that part of the wiki entry.
About this time, the formula was changed
at the cost of roughening the cereal's texture.
I like it rough, I like it rough.
And detracting significantly from mouthfeel.
Mouthfeel refers to the physical sensations
in the mouth caused by food or drink as distinct from taste.
It's like chewing on gravel, man.
That's the mouthfeel.
I was trying to feel differently about this whole thing.
It's starting to taste so bad.
I'm still loving the taste.
I feel like I'm gonna have to make a bathroom trip.
Things are starting to move.
I'm actually almost done with this bowl.
You wanna taste some Grape-Nuts, Lando?
Sure.
My kids have not heard of Grape-Nuts.
Hold out your hand.
What's up, Lando?
Hi.
All right, so...
Stop.
What do you think of that?
Don't give him too much.
What does it look like?
Oh my gosh.
What's it taste like?
It tastes like dog food.
It's kinda like dog food.
Well, your dad likes dog food.
I like dog food better than this.
You wanna eat it with milk?
No.
I'm finishing my third bowl.
Seriously?
This is my second bowl.
You basically tripled me.
All right, let's see what that box has got.
Is this the end of the box?
Yes.
What!
Okay, so a box of Grape-Nuts is four bowls.
Oh my gosh.
It's not that impressive, I mean, you're just,
you're making me look good, man.
It is an impossibility for me to eat
a bowl and a half of Grape-Nuts.
Oh, give me a break.
I mean, if my life depended on it--
I didn't eat lunch, either.
If my life depended on it I could do it,
but I ain't doing it for no internet video, man.
That's how I approach things in life, Link.
I approach things like my lie depended on it.
That's why I push myself so hard.
That's where I found my inner Alby.
I'm gonna give you all types of Grape-Nut respect.
Man, you got the biggest Grape-Nuts if you could do this.
Bigger than a grape.
I'm getting uncomfortable.
I'm very uncomfortable.
Right in here it's like, it's very,
it's like pulling a string taut.
For everyone who thinks that we're being wasteful,
I want you to know, I'm not gonna eat again for 48 hours.
Oh, man, are you sweating?
A little bit.
I'm not even eating it anymore.
I feel like at this point my stomach is completely filled
with Grape-Nuts and now there's like a chimney
on top of my stomach, which is whatever that part
of the body is.
That's called an esophagus.
And the chimney is starting to fill up.
It's right here.
As you eat this, I just want you to plow through it, man.
Yeah, I'm not doing good.
Do some stretches, man, like do some of these.
It's sending it straight up.
No, it's gonna send it down.
Do this motion.
Send it into the poop shoot.
You know what, don't even chew it anymore,
just swallow it whole.
You gettin' there?
I really don't wanna be the guy
who can't finish a box of Grape-Nuts.
I'm that guy.
I don't think it would be healthy
to finish this box of Grape-Nuts.
I might have real problems that might require
some sort of like journey to a medical place
and that's not where you wanna be right now.
Just say you can't do it.
If I show up and say, they're like why are here
and I'm like 'cause of Grape-Nuts, they're gonna be like,
sir, we cannot treat you.
Just out of principle.
We are not treating Grape-Nuts cases right now.
So I just feel like it would irresponsible
to put that kind of pressure on my local system.
Dude, you ate two and a half bowls?
No, I ate three bowls, man.
Three and then a couple of bites.
You ate three bowls and a couple of bites.
I think maybe I can do it.
When the world opens back up,
you're gonna be going up to strangers and saying,
hey, how much Grape-Nuts do you think I can eat,
like in terms of bowls?
I wanna be able to say a box, man.
I ate a whole box of Grape-Nuts on the internet.
It's gonna be so much cooler if I can say
I can eat a box of Grape-Nuts.
Hey, aren't you that guy who ate a box of Grape-Nuts
on the internet in one sitting?
Yeah, I am.
They came me Little Alby.
Think about it, you'll be signing autographs
at baseball games.
I feel like I'm gonna throw up.
Oh, you can't throw up, that's not part of it.
I'm telling you, man, one bowl, I feel horrible.
I got two more boxes.
That's what y'all need, Grape-Nuts, you need Big Alby
to come back and sell your nuts for ya.
My name is Big Alby, I can eat three-and-a-half bowls
of Grape-Nuts.
Five more bites, c'mon.
Big Alby can't do it, man.
Five bites.
Listen, Grape-Nuts if you're watching,
you gotta make the boxes a little bit smaller
so Big Alby can eat a whole box.
'Cause Big Alby is bowing out,
he can't get into this last one.
It's over, it's over.
Alby's out.
The Link's just been out.
Your effort was valiant.
You set a standard that no one needs to try to beat.
I am really concerned about what's gonna come later.
Hey, Link, it's the middle of the night.
I've been experiencing some rumbles,
a little bit of release, but now I think it's time
for a significant release and
I'll text you a picture.
I just woke up and I picked up my phone and I
had a text from Rhett with a picture, oh gosh.
I hope it was just a dream, a nightmare.