- What is more serious,
a head injury or a foot injury?
- A head injury.
(Dr. Mike laughs loudly)
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Let's do it. Bewoop!
- Just say again, really loudly.
What happened?
- [Michael] Okay. (frustrated groans)
I burned my foot,
very badly on my Foreman Grill
and I now need someone to come and bring me into work.
- How do you burn your foot
on a George Foreman Grill?
- I enjoy having breakfast in bed.
I like waking up to the smell of bacon.
Sue me.
- I don't really even recommend eating bacon.
cause it's a processed meat,
which has a cancer risk.
I mean, if you have it every now and then
it's not the end of the world.
Do not cook it in bed
while you're asleep with a hot-- ugh
- Today, I got up,
I stepped onto the grill
and it clamped down on my foot.
- Oh! That looks so fake, by the way.
It would be burned.
It would be bloody.
There would be skin peeling.
That looks like he just sc--
like a little cat scratch.
I had the worst experience when I was a kid.
My sister was using one of these pots.
The pot actually you use to steam
and like breathe over to help your sinuses.
She asked me to bring it from the kitchen after it boiled.
And as I'm bringing it,
I spill it all over my crotch. (woman screaming)
Oh my god!
- (crash)
- What was that?
- [Pam] What was that?
- [Jim] Oh!
He hit the pole.
(beeping)
It's broken, right? He can't--
- [Pam] Oh my gosh.
[Jim] Oh Dwight. Dwight.
- [Everyone] Oh! (exclaims in disgust)
- If you're throwing up
immediately after a car accident,
that's a potential sign for serious head trauma.
You better be calling 911.
- I am feeling better.
My body's literally healing itself.
It is amazing what the human body is capable of
when you have a powerful brain.
- [Ryan] I ground up four extra strength aspirin
and put them in Michael's pudding.
I do the same thing with my dog
to get him to take his heartworm medicine.
- Don't give people medicines
that they're not ready for.
Aspirin, especially.
It has all sorts of interactions with other medications.
Some people are sensitive to aspirin.
Like if I take an aspirin tablet by nose bleeds
cause it actually impairs platelet function.
If God forbid they have a procedure coming up
that would be detrimental.
Children, if you give them aspirin,
they can develop Reye's Syndrome.
Please, don't just dose people with aspirin,
just cause you do the same thing with your dog.
Bear's good at taking pills. (barks)
(soft thud)
- (faintly groans)
- Oh. Okay, I think we need to take him to the hospital.
- [Dwight] No. - [Michael] Oh no.
- I'm pretty sure he has a concussion.
- Oh, now you feel some compassion for him.
- He needs to go right now
and you're his emergency contact.
I think you should go with him.
- Why don't you go with him?
- I barely know him.
- I want Michael to take me.
- I can't take you. I don't have my car.
- Why don't they just call 911?
- [Jim] Wake up. - [Dwight] Ahh!
- Oh no, don't do that.
- [Pam] Let me help you Dwight, c'mon.
- Okay Pam. Thanks.
- Get up. Get up.
- You're the best.
- [Jim] Just keep him awake.
- Smells like chicken soup.
- I know.
- When you have a concussion,
you need cognitive rest.
Less lights. Less sounds.
Less interaction. Less movement.
You need your brain to recover.
And the worst concussion is actually your second concussion.
God forbid, you ever get a concussion
in let's say, a game.
Do not go back into the game
cause the second concussion's gonna be much worse.
- What is more serious, a head injury
or a foot injury?
- A head injury.
- [Michael] Well--
(Dr. Mike laughs loudly)
- So I'm ordering a CAT scan.
- [Dwight] What is that?
- The reason we get CT scans
when someone's involved in a car accident, for example,
is because if you have bleeding in the brain
it's an enclosed environment.
The skull actually prevents blood
from being able to displace the skin.
And as a result, pressure builds up.
And that could be really problematic.
Outside of the fact that you're not getting
enough circulation to the brain.
We actually follow the specific set of guidelines
known as the Canadian Head CT guidelines.
You basically look
at what the patient experienced.
Look at the type of trauma they had.
What symptoms they're experiencing.
You plug in the score
and it basically recommends whether or not
you should have a CT scan.
Remember that most CT scans expose you
to as much radiation as between
a hundred and a thousand x-rays.
So if you don't need that excess radiation
you really shouldn't be getting it.
- I'm having contractions
but they're irregular
and far apart.
So I'm not really in labor.
I'm near labor.
- Sometimes you can have false contractions
when you get closer
called Braxton Hicks contractions.
Sometimes they're not sure.
That's why they call our
on-call answering service
and we give them some guidance.
- [Kelly] Labor can last weeks.
And they take your insides out
and they just plop them on a table.
And sometimes epidurals don't work.
You can poop yourself.
- A lot of people poop during deliveries.
I think I delivered like 30, maybe 40 babies
during my residency training
and I would put the poop rate
somewhere around 60, 70 percent.
Safety of the baby and safety of the mother.
Most important, most important, most important.
Not the poop.
Never thought I'd say that statement.
- [Michael] Oh hey hey.
Um, should I bring a dictionary to the hospital?
- The hospital will provide dictionaries,
bring a Thesaurus.
(mumbles) need a dictionary or a Thesaurus
in a hospital.
- This is ridiculous.
- [Pam] Dwight get away.
- No no no. Dwight, let Jim do that, please?
- I didn't know we had a tape measure.
- We don't.
- Was he going to measure her cervix dilation with that?
We do not put tape measures
inside human bodies to measure anything.
Again, another statement I never thought I would make.
- Pam's doing great.
Uh, she's 10 inches dilated now.
S-sorry, meters.
Centimeters.
- (laughs) 10 meters dilate--
She's 30 feet dilated!
- And she's also fully faced,
which I don't know what that is.
- [Dr. Mike] It means the baby's a-coming.
- It's only been six-- nineteen hours.
- Halpert Room D1.
Alright. Family only beyond this point.
Thank you.
- It actually says "Patients and staff only."
Normally we have a check-in desk
where uh, visitors have to check in
and then we check to see
if it's a good time for them to come in.
We don't just let people barge it
in the midst of a delivery.
- [Jim] Babe, she's so beautiful.
(baby cries)
- Crying baby means a healthy baby.
- Why is he smoking a cigar?
- Yeah.
That's right.
It's a baby, see.
- Yeah you shouldn't smoke in a hospital
where there's oxygen tanks.
- Ready? (baby cries)
One, two, three.
- That's called the burrito technique.
Very important to learn early on
cause it helps coddle the baby and helps him sleep.
- Careful though. You don't wanna break it--
- She's not gonna, just--
(baby cries)
- I got it.
- Just the other day I had a,
first time parents come in.
They're nervous and they're good nervous
because they're excited.
They want to do the right thing.
They're asking a bunch of questions.
But it's awesome cause then the baby
comes in for sometimes a newborn weight check,
or sometimes they come in right away
at the two month first visit for vaccinations.
Then four months. Then six months.
And you get to see the baby grow like,
that's it just, it's one of the most fun parts
about being a doctor.
- I just, I can't tell if she's getting anything.
- Really?
- Doesn't feel right.
- Well you, you're pushing the milk out, right?
- How would one do that?
- Wasn't it, it's kinda like a--
- No, you don't push milk out.
The baby has to latch.
And sometimes it's a process.
The baby has a tongue tie.
The breast anatomy.
Sometimes it can be problematic,
but it's all salvable.
We have lactation specialists that meet with the moms.
Perhaps they can do some supplementation,
especially early on.
Really depends on each individual case.
But the general recommendation
is to be breastfeeding your child.
- [Dwight] Fire!
- Not real.
This was merely a training exercise.
(loud crash)
- What?
- [Dwight] So, what have we learned?
(soft thud)
- [Dwight] Oh come on. It's not real Stanley.
Don't have a heart attack.
- Check for a pulse.
Call for help.
If he's not pulsating and he's not breathing
(squeakily says) chest compressions,
chest compressions, chest compressions.
- Andy
- A throne for Your Highness.
- I'm not sitting in a wheelchair.
- No, no, no, no debate.
You are going to sit in that wheelchair.
- You actually don't want to be sitting in a wheelchair
when you don't want to.
That could actually de-condition your heart, your body.
You want to be as active as possible,
to the safest degree.
Why?
Because you actually are training your heart.
You're burning calories.
You're keeping your metabolism up.
All these things are really positive
to decrease cardiac event risk,
especially when you've already had a first heart attack.
- [CPR Trainer] ABC. Okay?
And that stands for
- [CPR Trainer and Dr. Mike] Airway.
Breathing.
- [Trainer] And circulation. - [Dr. Mike] And compressions.
- Okay.
- I threw in the compressions just
cause I love the compressions.
Because if there's no circulation,
what do you do?
(soft chimes)
I heard you say it.
- I can't keep doing this forever.
- It's been twenty seconds.
- Two minutes.
- Call it.
No, you do it until you realize
that it is...
futile.
Just to make it clear,
I feel like this gets confused for most people
when they watch these shows.
If someone has a heart attack
it doesn't always mean
that they need chest compressions.
I've literally seen someone discuss this before.
Where they're like,
"Oh my God, my family member's having a heart attack.
"Start chest compressions!"
No, no, no, no, no.
Yes, heart attacks can sometimes lead to your heart
stopping where you need chest compressions.
Not all heart attacks need chest compressions.
Person's awake and alert,
they don't need chest compressions.
- [CPR Trainer] You're losing him.
- Oh, those are bad chest compressions.
Not deep enough, too fast.
You want to do it to the tune of
a hundred beats per minute.
There's a lot of famous songs
that you could do it to.
I like "Stayin' Alive".
I would sing it,
I'm not trying to get demonetized.
- [CPR Trainer] Okay. Too fast.
Everyone.
We need to pump at a pace of
100 beats per minute
- Oh, okay.
That's uh, hard to keep track.
How many is that per hour?
- (Dr. Mike laughs) Per hour!
- Check for an organ donor card.
If he has one, we only have minutes to harvest.
- He has no wallet. I checked.
- He is an organ donor.
- He is!
Give me some ice in a styrofoam bucket.
- Whoa!
- [Dwight] Here we go.
- Did he just whip out a knife?
- (hip-hop music) I feel like a banana split.
Woo!
(high pitch scream)
- Oh, did we tear a groin muscle?
When office parties get buck wild.
I also don't know,
he could have injured his testicular area.
- I was dancing and I did a split
and I landed on my car keys in my pocket.
- Oh! I did not expect that to be the diagnosis.
What is the ICD-10 code for that?
What do you think is the worst story,
crashed a car because of a tiny spider
or tore scrotum while dancing?
Don't know.
Click here to watch my reaction
to the "Friends" medical scenes,
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As always stay happy and healthy.
(electronic music)