I had a thing I was gonna say and
then I just forgot what I was gonna say.
[BEEP SWOOSH SWISH CRUNCH]
Hey friends. So today I want to talk
a little bit about something that I am
too intimately familiar with:
social anxiety. [xylophone tinkle sound]
But before I get into it I
wanted to remind you all to stick around
until the end of the video because I
have some information about a cool
mental health service that you may or
may not be interested in.
So watch the whole video.
[music]
I haven't talked about social anxiety on this channel in forever, I feel like.
Which is weird because it's
something that plagues my existence like
every single day of my life, almost.
And it's just kind of in the back of my head
at all times but I'm such a functional and
well-adjusted young adult, so I bet you
had no idea that I had social anxiety.
But you probably did because of the
discomfort and nervous energy that I
give off most of the time. [DING!]
That's one weird thing about social anxiety is
I feel like most of my anxiety is anxiety
over appearing anxious or seeming
uncomfortable and half the time I've had
people tell me that they didn't realize
that I was uncomfortable.
They thought I was like talkative and outgoing
but in my head I just feel like the most awkward
socially inept weird unlikable person ever.
Is this is relatable yet? But first and
foremost I don't want to perpetuate this
idea that social anxiety is this quirky
fun relatable tumblr thing where you're
just so awkward in an adorable way.
Like I actually am diagnosed with social
anxiety and it is very debilitating and
something that affects my--most of my
decisions in my daily life and I would
not recommend it, to be honest.
I wouldn't recommend obtaining social anxiety.
So if you can avoid that I would probably do that.
But for me I feel like social
anxiety has been something that I have
literally had my entire life.
Looking back even as a
really young kid I remember being so
nervous and uncomfortable and aware of
my self and my movements and the way I'm
being perceived. Like I remember that
ever since I was very young.
So I literally do not know what it is like to
be a person who doesn't suffer from
social anxiety and it's just like my normal.
You know? It's just, it's just a
thing that is part of me pretty much at this point.
Also I just moved to a new city.
Los Angeles of all the cities, home of
networking and making social connections
and pretty much everything that would
induce anxiety in a person with social anxiety.
I feel like moving to Los
Angeles has been particularly anxiety
inducing for me because most of the
people I know here I either don't know
very well, like I've met them a couple
times at most or I've never met them
because I know them through the internet
and I need to like befriend people to
create a network of friends.
I just explained how friendship works.
And they'll be like "Hey let's hang out." and
I'll be like "Oh my god I. want to die." not
because I don't want to be friends with people.
Like I really genuinely want to
be friends with these acquaintances that I have.
Making new friends is kind of
like all the worst parts of dating
because you need to keep the conversation going.
You need to know what questions to ask them.
You have this whole awkward phase of getting to know
someone but also you can't make out with
them to fill the awkward silences.
It's hard. It's so hard. I also basically have
one response when I'm feeling anxious
and it's not the best coping mechanism.
It's always without fail, stop, cancel
plans and hide in my house for the rest
of the day and feel really really guilty about it.
And you would think that the
sweet release of canceling plans and
removing the thing that's causing anxiety
would make you feel better but then you
get this whole other layer of shame and
guilt and self-loathing because:
Why can't you handle things like a normal
functioning person? Why can't you go hang
out with people like a normal
functioning person? So it's kind of just
like a lose-lose in every every aspect.
I don't know. I just--what do you guys think?
Do you have social anxiety?
Do you get what I'm talking about?
Do you have a friend with social anxiety that is always
canceling plans and if so do you hate them?
When I ask that question I'm
really just asking everyone in my life
do you hate me for being the worst?
I do just want to affirm really quick because
I am making jokes about me being the
worst but if you are a person who has
social anxiety you're not a bad person.
You're not broken and it's okay to feel this way.
You're not alone. So if you have
social anxiety I just want to let you
know that you're okay and you're not
a bad friend or at least that's what I'm
trying to convince myself is true.
It's a process. Social anxiety is really hard
and it's also really hard to communicate
how you're feeling with people because
it's--it feels weird. It feels like no
one's going to get this because going to
get a cup of coffee with someone isn't,
shouldn't be this big difficult life
changing thing and it's not but that's
what it feels like. It feels like Sisyphus.
Sisyphus? Is that his name?
The guy that pushes the boulder up the
mountain every single day.
Like mythology that that person.
That's what social anxiety feels like.
Great literary references from an ex English major.
Remember how I promised at the beginning of
the video that there would be--I would talk
about mental health service?
This is the part of the video where I
talk about the mental health service.
I just talked to you like
I talk to my cat, in a patronizing way.
Basically this online counselling
service called Better Help reached out
to me and they were like "Hey. We see you
make videos about mental illness and
fighting mental health stigma. We're all
about that and we'd love to help support you."
and I was like "Awesome. This sounds
like a really cool service
that I think could help a lot of people
who wouldn't have access to therapy otherwise."
including me. I'm someone who
can't afford a therapist because
therapists are just outrageously
expensive and it sometimes can take
forever to find a therapist that works
for you or even just a therapist because
waiting lists are a thing and they suck
and they really are--create a barrier for
people who need help right away.
This is where Better Help comes in.
They provide online counseling on your
computer, tablet, or mobile phone.
So you can access it wherever you want.
It's also as low as 35 dollars a week which
is super cheap compared to the price of
in-person therapists. I would know because
I have looked up the price of therapists
and it is not in my budget. Better Help
also offers a one week free trial so you
can try out the service and see if you like it.
When you sign up for Better Help
you answer a bunch of questions and they
match you with the right therapist
for you in less than 24 hours so you can get
access to a therapist way quicker than
traditional therapy. Also I want to point
out that this isn't like totally
sponsored because I don't get any money
for this unless you sign up for the free
trial and then you decide that you like
it and then continue with the service
after that. So if you hate it you can
just be like, "[BEEP] you, Marina. I don't want
you to have any money." and that's cool
because that's fine and do what you want.
I'm gonna have the link to this in
the description with my sign up code so
be sure to use that if you want to help
me out and stuff because mama needs
money sometimes. I need to stop calling
myself mama in these videos.
Anyway thank you for watching this video.
If you enjoyed it please give a like and
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Also this is completely voluntary but if you would
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