(chuckles)
- John Mayer, you're no Jerry Garcia.
(phone rings)
- [Scarlett] Hey.
- Hey Scarlett, sorry that latest project didn't work out.
But, you know what?
Let's just put those days
of picking controversial roles behind us, huh?
- [Scarlett] What do you mean?
(inhales)
- We talked about this Scar-Jo, okay?
Like when you tried to play a trans man in a movie.
Or when you actually did play an Asian woman
in "Ghost in the Shell"
And I know you said that an actor can play any person,
tree, or animal, but let's stick with person.
And let's stick with roles
that are suitable for Scarlett, huh?
Like I got a lot of great scripts over here like,
Oprah is starring and producing a historical drama
about a black mother who befriends
a white teacher in the Segregation Era.
- [Scarlett] Oh, wow, I'd love to do that.
- Yeah.
- [Scarlett] Yeah, except I'm Oprah's part
and Oprah's my part.
As actors we cannot do what is expected.
We must be the dark mirrors of society.
Acting is reacting.
- Hey Scarlett, got some pre-mo Oscar fodder here.
You'd play a German spy who aids the allies
during World War II.
- [Scarlett] Okay, quick pitch.
Can they make my character a disabled Latina German?
- What, why?
I'm not even sure that that makes historical sense.
- [Scarlett] It's important we tell stories
about under represented groups.
And that those groups be played by me.
(chokes)
- I'm gonna call you back.
(phone rings)
- [Scarlett] Oh hey.
- Scarlett, I got this incredible
young Marilyn Monroe biopic on my desk.
- [Scarlett] I'm interested.
- You'd play Marilyn as she was,
no other characters.
- [Scarlett] I know, I've got the perfect director for this.
My dear friend, Woody Allen.
- I don't think that's a great idea.
- [Scarlett] I'll make it with Woody,
and nobody else.
He understands young women.
I wanna do the new Benjamin Button movie.
- Okay, nothing problematic with that.
You age backwards into a baby,
you show your range as an actor.
- [Scarlett] Right, but I want to age backwards
into a black baby.
- So, you age backwards.
- Uh-huh. - And your race
slowly turns black.
I don't know if--
- [Scarlett] Yeah no, that's stupid.
(both laughing)
- Right?
That's stupid, good call Scar-Jo.
- [Scarlett] I'm black the whole time
and I age backwards.
- No.
- [Scarlett] I am an ac-tor and acting is reacting.
- Yeah you're an actor.
(phone ringing)
- [Scarlett] Scarlett speaking.
- All right, I got a lot of options here
in case one of these doesn't work out.
Musical where you play a wash-up pop-star
trying to revive her career.
- [Scarlett] As long as she's in a K-pop band.
- Moving on.
A, they want you to narrate
a documentary about endangered wolves.
- [Scarlett] Only if I can speak
in a Native American accent.
I'm really good at it.
Do you wanna hear it?
- Absolutely not.
Okay, Marvel called.
They saw your interview, they want you
to be the voice of the new Groot.
- [Scarlett] Like the tree?
- Yes!
- [Scarlett] Okay, but I have to be a black elm.
- What does that even mean?
- [Scarlett] Also, I want to play Malala.
- I'm in a tunnel.
____.
Okay, I'm out of the tunnel.
(phone rings)
- [Scarlett] Hey.
- Scarlett, I've got nothing left for you.
We've been through every script.
- [Scarlett] I'm actually thinking
of writing my own screenplay.
- About what?
- [Scarlett] About my own life, my life story.
- And you'd be you?
Playing yourself?
- [Scarlett] Yeah.
- Well this is amazing.
I can't wait to read it.
- [Scarlett] I'd mostly be revisiting my time
playing Motoko Kusanagi in "Ghost in the Shell."
- Well Scarlett Ingrid Johansson,
this is a whole Pandora's Box full of ____.