- This episode of Up to Speed
is brought to you by Squarespace.
(engine revving)
It's not a car, it's not a truck,
it's not just another four by four,
it's a wolf in wolf's clothing.
It's a tank in the form of a car
in the form of a tank!
It can drive over anything, up anything,
and through anything.
It wasn't meant for us, it was built for war.
I don't care what you drive, dawg.
It's bigger, it's tougher,
and the only reason that we're allowed to buy one
is because The Terminator said so.
This is everything you need to know
to get up to speed on the Hummer.
(upbeat electronic music)
In the early 80's the American military
was bidding for a new transport vehicle
that could carry troops and heavy cargo anywhere.
In other words, they needed a high mobility,
multipurpose, wheeled vehicle or himovv,
himvr, what, how am I saying this wrong?
(man speaks indistinctly)
What, H-M-M, hummv?
The H-M-M-W-V, hmmwvr.
The winning bid went to AM General Corporation,
which created a machine that had the raw presence
of a nuclear blast!
It could transport heavy equipment
through the worst terrain.
It could cross rivers and get up and over slopes
that would stop basically anything else.
It had a switch that could inflate or deflate the tires
on the go and its axle track was designed
to be so wide that it could slip into the tracks
left by tanks, tanks!
Plus it could be dropped out of a plane
wearing its own friggin' parachute.
AM General was awarded a one billion dollar contract
to mass produce the Hmmwvr to the US military.
And by the late 80's, they were in the field.
They called it the Humvee,
because that was easier to say than Hmmwvr
and it accompanied American troops
during the invasion of Panama in 1989
and during the Gulf War in 1991.
The Humvee was adapted for all sorts of roles.
The ambulance, communication station,
and my personal favorite, frickin' rocket launcher.
Let me make one thing abundantly crystally clear,
the Humvee was a military vehicle,
designed for the military for military use.
It's like a Black Hawk helicopter
or an aircraft carrier, an F18 Superhornet.
The Hummer was never ever intended for ordinary people
or ordinary roads (burps),
but there's one thing the US military never saw coming,
Arnold freakin' Schwarzenegger!
(chuckles)
It's 1990, Arnold Schwarzenegger is the biggest
action movie star in the world
and not just physically by physically too.
While taking a break from shooting
the classic Kindergarten Cop,
"Are you eating other people's sandwiches, stop it."
- Stop it.
- And somehow, like, Arnold's like, "Uh, yo, like,
"I'm in this situation now, I love your mom
"and I'm your kindergarten teacher,
"time to karate battle your mom's boyfriend."
My mom had some boyfriends and I wish there was an Arnold
to kick the (bleep) out of them.
Luckily, now I'm the Arnold, so,
I'll buy you a plane ticket, Steve.
I will fly you to LA to kick your (bleep).
Steve's a real guy.
(swooshing)
Steve (bleep), I hate you.
Arnold met his spirit animal
as he saw a convoy of Hummers passing him on the road.
It was love at first sight.
He was like, "Yo, what is that big-ass flat-looking jeep?
"That's like the perfect car for me, can I get one?"
Uh, yo, are you Arnold Schwarzenegger?
"Yeah, I am."
Listen, man, I'm stoked that you like my car and all
but you can't buy one of these
'cause it's for military use only.
"I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger, I can have whatever I want."
AM had already kicked around the idea
of a civilian model but with the Terminator's backing
they bumped it up to the top of their priority list.
In 1992, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mr. Olympia,
received the very first civilian version branded the Hummer,
of course, as a civilian model,
this one didn't have any rocket launchers on it.
- Ah, there's no rocket.
They forgot to put the rocket in there, dude, I'm so sorry.
- But it was more or less the same overall design.
So, it could still drive up, over, and through anything.
It could still inflate or deflate its tires on the go
and it was still really, really, really big,
just like my dad.
Remember at this time movie heroes
are enormous hulks of muscle.
The Soviet Union had just collapsed
and America was frickin' stoked.
Gas prices were cheap, in other words,
subtlety and restraint were not words
in our national vocabulary.
America wanted big, they wanted bold,
they wanted a Hummer, who cared if it weighed
10,000 pounds and gets 10 miles to the gallon,
(chuckles) literally.
In fact, in a very real sense, that was the entire point.
It cost about 50 grand
and barely squeezed into most garages.
The Hummer was not expected to be a mass market car
and that too became a part of the appeal.
A Hummer badge was like a Ferrari badge.
If you had one, it meant you had money
and you weren't afraid to spend it.
It was drivable bling.
By the late 90's it had become a celebrity hallmark.
Everybody from Coolio, Ted Turner, Tom Clancy,
Andre Agassi, the four coolest, most famous dudes ever,
all drove Hummers.
The Hummer was a metaphor for America in the 90's.
Enormous, expensive, rugged, unstoppable,
gas guzzling, decadent,
(thunders) and in your frickin' face.
And as you can imagine,
not all of those went over very well.
The Hummer became a symbol for excess and egotism
and environmentalists absolutely hated its fuel consumption.
Still, whether respected or reviled,
there aren't many cars that have caused
such strong reactions from so many people so quickly.
That was the sheer presence of the Hummer.
In 1999 GM bought the rights to the Hummer
off of AM General, where AM General
put their military machine in the hands
of an exclusive few, GM wanted the Hummer
to become a true mass market brand.
The result came in 2002 with the release of
the car's baby brother, the H2.
This model of Hummer was lithe and toned
instead of muscle bound and bulky.
Weighing in at a dainty 8,600 pounds.
Never one to miss a sequel,
Schwarzenegger was personally involved
in the development of the H2.
As much as he loved the raw size of the original,
he wanted the H2 to be a bit more manageable on the road
and also compete as a modern luxury car.
People bought them in droves.
Again, the gas guzzling thing lead to a backlash
from environmentalists and some of them
got pretty crazy about it.
In 2003, 40 Hummer H2s were set ablaze
at a dealership in California
in an eco terrorist attack carried out
by the Earth Liberation Front.
More seriously and sadly, these weren't the only
terrorists the car was facing.
The original military Humvee
was now deployed in wars in Afghanistan and Iraq
and, believe it or not, for all of its incredible ruggedness
the Humvee was never designed to be shot at.
As IEDs became more and more common in war zones,
the lightly armored Humvees just weren't able
to protect their occupants.
The Pentagon began shopping around
for a new transport vehicle and the Humvee
was relegated to backline duty.
Back home, people began shopping around for new models too.
Rising gas prices and increasing environmental awareness
both cut into the Hummer brand deeply.
The heavy days of 90's excess were a distant memory
and the Hummer now looked gaudy
where it once looked gaudy but in a good way.
Plus, with two wars dragging on,
military chic is just sorta douchey.
- [Together] Yeah, so?
- General Motors tried to save the brand
with the release of the H3 in 2005.
The smallest Hummer model ever.
Weighing in at 5,800 pounds.
The smallest one was three tons.
And GM increased the fuel economy
to a whopping 16 miles per gallon.
Hummer also tries to prove that their cars
are for more than just big dudes
by making ads for women too
but it was just too little, too late
and in 2009, the global financial meltdown
makes any kind of luxury spending uncool,
plus it bankrupts General Motors.
As part of GM's chapter 11 restructuring,
they tried to spin off the Hummer brand to a new owner
and they actually found an interested party in rural China.
Unfortunately, the Chinese government stepped in
and killed the deal.
China was in the process of cleaning up
its environmental image and purchasing
the most polluting car brand in the world ever
didn't exactly fit with that ideal.
Out of options, General Motors shut down Hummer for good.
In the end, the Hummer was about pure presence.
Nothing looked like it,
nothing towered over traffic like it.
It was a statement with four wheel drive.
It was a car that said,
"I am huge and I like huge things,"
(twinkles) Jessica.
It served America and its allies in wartime
and at home it was a symbol of luxury
whose excess would be its own undoing.
The Hummer is a visual icon
like almost no other vehicle has ever been.
It's not a car, it's not a truck,
it's not just another four by four, it's a Hummer.
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This is everything you need to know
to get up to speed on the Hummer.
What's your favorite Arnold Schwarzenegger movie?
Do you guys think I should get super buff?
(giggles)
What's the biggest car you've ever owned?
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