By the end of this video, I'm going to give you
nine things that all narcissists do to get you into their web and
hold you sort of like the roach motel, remember?
Like they'll get you in there, but you can never leave,
that's what you're gonna know by the end of this video.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am an attorney, a narcissist negotiation expert and
on this channel, and in these videos,
I give you real tips and tricks, actual resources that actually work
so that you can shift the dynamic and
become the most powerful one when you are dealing with narcissists
in your personal life, in your business life,
if that is something that you actually want,
then feel free to hit the subscribe button and
hit that notification bell,
so that you can become the one who's actually
on the offensive, instead of the defensive for a change.
Let's talk about what all narcissists will do to trap you,
to ensnare you into their little web,
their toxic web.
So, even if it's a business relationship,
which is one that I had to deal with and
it was literally one of the worst things
I ever had to deal with in my entire life.
So, sometimes it's called other things but
love-bombing is the main thing that you hear it called,
this is when they come on,
they’re super charming, they really know how to turn on,
they’re really great at reading people,
they've spent their entire lives figuring out
what they need to do to manipulate you, to ensnare you,
to get you into their little web, to get you into their lair and
get you where they want you to be, so that you can start giving them
that narcissistic supply that they so desperately crave,
which is anything that feeds their ego,
remember they have no inner sense of value,
so the only way that they can feel any sense of value
is from the external sources.
So, they love bomb you,
they tell you what you want to hear,
basically they're super charming, super charismatic and
they manipulate you that way.
So, whether it's a business relationship,
which is if it's in business, they have the perfect client,
they have the perfect set of those that you want,
if it's a romantic relationship,
they're the soul mate that you've been waiting for,
I mean, they really know how to turn on the charm,
so love-bombing is definitely one of the ways that they trap you.
So, they promise you the world,
everything is going to be amazing,
it's going to be the best business ever,
it's going to be the best life that you've ever had,
everything is going to be exactly what you've always wanted it to be and,
as I said, they really know how to study people,
they know how to read people,
they know how to say exactly what it is that you want to hear and
they return to these things, by the way,
when they need to use them,
these are part of their arsenal of tricks,
so they go back to the love-bombing,
they go back to the future faking when they need to,
if they've messed up or if they have done something,
that they're kind of going to be caught
or if they've been to devaluing you,
or if they've been caught in a lie,
or they've been ghosting you,
or whatever it is that they've been doing
so that it's a way to project and deflect their behavior,
in order to for you to not dwell
or see what it is that they have been doing.
I have a whole video on this, by the way if you want to check it out,
but I want you to remind yourself that they are fakers.
So that you don't get caught in the trap of being taken in
when they try to do this to you, because they will, I promise
so put “Fakers” down in the comments right now.
They will do that especially kind of on your way out.
You'll be on your way out,
you will think that you're kind of finally getting out of this relationship and
they'll actually start to devalue you so that you can't really get out.
They'll be like “Oh, that lawyer that you're picking, not very good”
“That situation that you're getting into, really stupid idea”.
So, it's actually a way to trap you into staying where you are
when I say devaluing, it's a way to trap you,
but it actually is a way to trap you into staying where you are,
because the decisions that you're making to leave,
they're going to say aren't smart,
so it's a way of getting you to question what it is that you're doing
so that you now have to stay because obviously they know better and
so you kind of start thinking like
they're the smartest people in the world,
nobody else knows how to make decisions like they do and
I can tell you that when I was practicing law and
representing people like, who had been victims of narcissistic abuse,
It was frustrating for me as the attorney,
because a lot of times people would think,
“Oh, but they really know better” and
you'd have to help them to kind of unwind of that thinking of,
“Well, they actually do know better” and
even though they would know that they're liars,
that they devalue, that they've been abused by them,
they would still often think that they did know better,
that they are smarter.
So, unwinding a lot of that takes some time sometimes.
So anyway, they devalue you on the way out.
They break you down so that
they can often be the one to make you feel better.
It's also very sick cycle,
hurt you, make you feel terrible, make you cry,
so that they can actually be the one to console you.
So, horrible cycle, very sick.
They want them sometimes to be the only one that you can depend on,
so they really isolate you, so that you have no family, no friends,
but then, you can't really even depend on them either.
So, totally isolate you, that's number four.
Again, t's a way to isolate you,
but they have like these flying monkeys,
so that you feel like no one else thinks like you,
or everyone else is lining up against you and for them,
“Everyone else is saying this” or “No one else believes you with this”,
that's sort of like a narcissist smear campaign thing.
I actually do have a whole video on
“The signs of a narcissist’s smear campaign”,
which you can definitely check that out as well.
That's another way to trap you, you feel stuck.
You know reality, but they just straight up tell you
that reality is not reality.
It's just a way to weaken and destabilise you,
so that you can't think straight,
you have like brain trauma, it's especially difficult in negotiations,
which is why I do what I do for a living and
I created my entire S.L.A.Y program and
I help you with all the things that I do.
You question them, you say you lied about this,
you didn't do what you were supposed to do,
or you did this and you weren't supposed to,
you catch them in a lie, or you catch them doing something and
they say “No, I didn't do that” or “Somebody else did that”
or whatever, they blame it on other people,
or they say “Why are we dwelling on this? Let's just move to the future”,
whatever it is that they need to do
to just get you off of it at that time,
because they just want to trap you into the situation of now.
I mean, they lie about things they don't even need to lie about,
which is really always very puzzling to me.
That is one of the easiest ways
to create leverage against narcissists by the way and
in my S.L.A.Y program I teach all of what,
S.L.A.Y stands for strategy, leverage, anticipating and focusing on you and
in the leverage part of the program,
I do teach about how to use their lies against them and
is so easy because, they do lie all the time,
sometimes their lying can look like passive-aggression,
they do use their like a passive-aggression form of lying,
especially the covert narcissists,
which are one of the forms of narcissism that I absolutely detest the most,
because it's like the stealthiest form of narcissism in a lot of ways.
I had to deal with two of them. So yeah, awful.
Anyway, I digress.
Those are the nine ways that I've seen narcissist try to trap you,
I know that there are many other ways and
if there are other ways that you have seen,
go ahead and drop it in the comments below,
I’d love to see ways that you guys have seen as well and
if you guys want to grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet,
feel free to do that at winmynegotiation.com.
If you like this video, give it a like, give it a share,
feel free to subscribe to this channel.
Subscribe, hit that notification bell.
Free resources right here on this channel and
also feel free to join my free private Facebook group
for more support, more help, more resources,
“Narcissist negotiators with Rebecca Zung”.
I will drop links to everything below as well too, and
remember that it is always a great day to start negotiating your best life.
Don't let narcissists get the best of you and
remember to never give in, never give up.
They only win when you stop trying.
Okay, so I will definitely see you in the next video!