(clapping)
- Nice.
Hey you, my name is Thomas Tomska Ridgewell,
and welcome back to-
- [All] "Content!"
(beep)
- So today, we're gonna be finding out,
how well, we know each other.
(stammering) Shut.
(all laughing)
- How well we know Trevor.
(laughing)
- Who is he?
We've lost.
By sharing truths, or lies,
and we have to figure out which one is which.
It's like two truths and a lie, but lazier.
And the loser gets shot with this gun!
But as you requested,
I should test this gun out myself
to know how painful it's gonna be.
- Those are the rules.
Where is the person going to get shot anyway?
- I think it should be on the bare ass.
(laughs)
- No, you've increased the odds now.
- Yeah, I upped the stakes-
- I don't wanna show my bare ass on camera.
- Well, you might get a hole in one.
(all laugh)
(screaming)
It doesn't have to be on camera.
You'll just have to have the testimonies
of two people that we can confirm
that there is a bare ass on display.(laughing)
- So is this the overall loser
or is it the loser per, question?
- Depending on how much this hurts,
will decide that basically. (laughs)
All right, so.
(gunshot)
Hmm, ah, fuck!
(yelling)
The end of the game.
Its the overall loser.
(machine buzzing)
- Jesus?
- Did a bee fart?
- A bee?
- I'm sure its over.
(buzzing continues)
(beep)
- I once sang backing vocals,
for a Offspring song.
- What do you think?
- True.
- I mean it could be like a cover,
he doesn't necessarily specify
that its an official Offspring song.
- I mean I'm presuming its a cover,
I don't think an actual Offspring song.
- I'm going with true.
- It is true.
(chink)
- Yeah!
(clapping)
- So, on the 2003 album Splinter,
there's a song called "Neo Con".
And there's a crowd chorus
which was recorded from the 2002 Reading Festival
of which I was amongst.
- [Both] Ahh
- Here's a sample
(Song plays)
- I have farted, vomited and had a seizure
during blowjobs.
(laughing)
- At the same time?
- I will give you as much as the answer to that is no,
not at the same time.
- I'm going to go not true.
- Why?
- Because I know that does happen during sex,
but not actual flesh here.
- Like vomiting and farting,
farting is extremely likely for you. But, a seizure?
I'm going to go with false.
- Are you going with false as well?
- Yeah
- You are both correct.
- I have not done all three of those things
- But he has had a seizure during sex.
- No, I have done, two of those things were true
- You've farted for sure.
- And you haven't vomited but he's had a seizure during sex.
- I once took a dump in the middle of a garden
and blamed it on our family dog.
- I'm gonna jump right in.
I fully believe that.
No part of me doesn't think you would do.
I'm going to believe that. I believe that fully.
- Yes, I believe too. True
- It is, a lie
- No.
So believable.
- Tom was close there, it was a cat not a dog.
- Of fuck.
- But how young were you?
- Cat poos are way smaller
- Yeah.
I know in this situation it was stupid.
- But why the middle of the garden.
Wouldn't you have a natural instinct to be more
- In the flower area and then dig a hole and put it over it?
- Yeah
- I have questions too
- My son Rick, is named after Rik Mayall, the comedian,
who I have ever actually seen in the flesh.
- I'm trying to think of an occasion when you
would have seen Rik Mayall in the flesh.
- Yeah, 'cause it's seen as well.
It's not like interacted with.
I'm going to go with true.
- I am also going to go with true.
- It is false.
- Shame.
- I have seen him live three times.
- Oh wow, we're bad friends.
(laughing)
- Twice on the Bottom tour and
once on a performance of the New Statesman.
- I once accidentally sneezed,
in the face of a homeless woman.
- I think I'm going to go with true.
That sounds like a scenario
that you will put yourself in.
- This scenario, just walking down the street?
Yeah, that's classic Tom.
- I'm going to go with false.
- Eddie wins.
- Yay.
- I've never sneezed in the face of a homeless woman.
It was a homeless child. It wasn't. It's never happened.
- It's a very specific circumstance.
- That's what I thought made it a believable lie.
To fool Elliot.
- Just to fool me.
- In high school, I made my own Christmas cards
which had my own original characters on them.
(laughing)
- I reckon that's true.
- I'm going to go with false.
But I feel like there was another kid
in your class that did it or something.
- It's true.
- Yay
- I did
- That's pathetic.
(laughing) It's creative and I'm proud of you.
- I couldn't afford actual Christmas cards.
So I decided to, because I made little animations at school.
I decided to use the characters
from those animations, put them on little Christmas cards,
doing Christmas themed things.
In the final year of high school
I got bullied so much about these animations.
(laughing)
- I both deleted the channel, my new grams page
and destroyed all things that relate to it.
- Oh no.
- I mean, I wish I didn't.
I wish I still had those things. Yeah
- Don't delete shit just because people are awful
- Stairs give me orgasms
- Obviously I want to say false but
- I'm just going to go with false
because I hope it's not true.
Do you fuck the stairs?
Or is it the act of going up the stairs?
Or does he lie down and go down the stairs
and it tickles his
- Ooh
(laughing)
- Oh no he laughed at that
so I feel like that's not the answer.
Cause that would have been a fair guess.
- I'm going to go with true.
And I'm going to imagine that as a child or something
you crawled up the stairs and it made your dick pop off
Please let it be false.
- It's true.
- Oh, I'm so sad that I'm right.
- So, to elaborate.
- No, don't.
- When I was much younger, I would.
So technically it's the banister,
not the staircase itself but the banister.
I used to hold on to the top of the banister
and have my legs either side of it and
kind of hold myself up like that.
And it actually made me orgasm.
- After my childhood cat walked in on me masturbating.
I never saw him again.
(laughing)
- I'm going to go with true.
- It just immediately marched outside to get run over.
- It's whether or not at university,
you came back, masturbated, it saw you
and then because they were old they died.
- It was like the day before he went back to university.
- Yeah
- I'm going to go with true.
- You are both correct. It was entirely true.
Just walked in on me. Took one look at me,
then fucking ran away from home and we never saw him again.
It was like he was coming in to say goodbye.
And then he was like nevermind.
He's already made his mind up.
- He'll do good without me.
- It's like Toy Story.
It's like if Woody walked in on Andy
just cranking one out and he's like
- (singing) You've got a friend in me.
- I've never taken a dick pic.
- I can't imagine that you as an adult
would ever take a dick pic.
- I did, but I didn't understand
what women were interested in, in dicks.
So I did a front on view
- Yeah, I know.
- Rather than any kind of angle
- Just the face
- You should have put googly eyes on it.
- Hello
- And I don't know why I thought,
yeah, this is what they want.
- They just want to know it's there.
- I will go with true
- I feel like you are smart, in an anxious way
enough to not risk it.
So I'm going to go with true as well.
- It is false. I have taken a dick pic.
- Dammit.
- I was just playing on your expectations.
- I took it once then I literally never sent it.
I was like, this is sad.
- You kept it for yourself. Somehow sadder.
- I have only been in a fight once,
but I lost really quickly.
- I think it's false. I think you've be in a fight once,
but you won with your sheer cock strength.
He's got a lot of bottled up feelings.
- No, I believe it's completely accidental.
It was over a cookie, "we're in a fight", and he's like,
"I didn't want to fight" and he's like "okay".
- I believe you've been in a fight once
but I don't think you lost.
I feel like, it either ended amicably or you won.
- I have never been in a fight.
- Yay. I technically win
but I was completely wrong as to why I won.
- I am technically on the sex offenders register.
This one's just sad.
- No. No. I'm going to go no, just out of sheer will.
- What possible technicality could there be
just to be, only slightly, sort of be on the sex register.
- That's for your imagination.
- I think I'm going to go true.
I have a specific reason
but I feel like sharing that reason might help Eddie.
- I'm going true as well.
- Fuck you guys.
Of course I'm not on the sex offenders register.
In any way.
- What I thought it would be is that
there is a Thomas Ridgewell on the sex offenders register.
- That was the joke.
I mean, I guess obviously the goal is to trick you.
But no, I'm obviously not.
- I thought you had Googled the sex offenders register
- And panicked for a moment like, oh fuck.
- As a child, I was petrified of the hairdressers,
and once ran out.
- You ran out of hairdressers? There weren't anymore.
- I ran out of the door.
- You got a haircut yesterday right?
- Yeah.
- How was that?
- It was all right.
- Then it's a lie.
He's never been scared of them.
- He ran real fast.
- They had to chase you cutting your hair.
- I'll go with true.
- Yeah. I'll go with true as well.
- It is true.
- I was petrified of the clippers
because I'm terrified of wasps.
- (both) Oh.
- That makes sense now.
- And one occasion I ran out of the hairdressers
and just run all the way home.
- Oh God. Cause you're just sitting there.
You get hear (buzzing)
- Is it like the Australian news reporter with the chicken,
it flaps at him and (screaming)
- I'm allergic to seafood.
- Okay. Think. Have I ever seen him eat seafood?
I'm going to go with false.
You just don't like it.
If I don't know that you have an allergy,
I'm just a shite person.
- I'm also going to go false.
- It is false. I am not allergic, I just don't like it.
- I used to make police training videos.
- That's true. You did.
I think you were commissioned by the police department.
Whichever one it was, to make videos for them.
- I'm going to go false
- Scandal.
- I think it was an Airsoft training video.
- Well that's interesting Elliot.
I actually did both of those.
I made two police training videos
One was about all the different ways that
criminals could organize a crime through various means
of digital communication.
And one was about all the ways to track
a person's digital footprint, in the event that
they had been kidnapped.
Yeah. I did. That's one of the things I did
while I was in uni.
Before I go that YouTube money.
- I used to drink dilute squash from the bottle.
- Oh, I'd fully just believe that.
I feel like that's something that they just do
in the North.
Knowing you and the way you go through phases
of being obsessed with one thing at a time.
Oh, it's the month where Ellie eats three packs
of Jaffa cakes a day.
- You think I through a squash phase?
- Yeah.
- Or just something dumb you did as a child.
- I'm going to go with false.
- It's true.
- Yay. You're gross.
- As a kid, I didn't realize.
So I just poured myself a cup and I was like "mmm".
- This is gross but I guess that's what people do.
- I once sent a letter to Jim'll fix it.
- Oh, the guy who fucks kids and then died?
- Mm hmm
- For fucking too many kids
I'm going to go with true.
But I want to figure out what the letter
would have been about.
Jim. I am a virgin.
(laughing)
- He was like, okay-
- Nice.
- On my way.
- OMW.
He fucked kids. Bad.
- Canceled by Disney.
- Okay. I'm going to go with true.
- Yeah, we're both going true.
- It is true.
- Haha
- I did write a letter to Jimmy Saville because
I was a big fan of the Addams Family movie
and I wanted to be the hand.
- The Thing.
- The Thing
- Wait, I thought he fixed things, not made you a hand.
- No he would give experiences to kids (laughing)
- Yeah he did
- So basically you were telling Jim
that you wanted like a hand job and-
(laughing)
(clapping)
- I hate everything.
Alright, here we go. True or false.
I have had sex on both of your desks.
- There's no way you can have sex on Eddie's desk.
- No my desk is too small.
- Bare in mind, it came it came with me from my old house.
- No it didn't
- You're right.
- I'm going to go with false then.
- Fuck.
- False.
- You win. I've only had sex on your desk.
- My desk.
I know that.
- But it was my desk at the time we did trade desks.
You want to trade back?
- No.
- Cause bad news.
- You've had sex with that one.
I just said you had sex with that one.
- Yeah.
- With a previous partner we once tried to film
an amateur porn. But it made us so sad we deleted it.
- True.
- Yeah. I'll believe it. That's the only
appropriate response to watching porn you're in.
- True
- It's false
- The idea happened, we set up the video camera,
then we decided not to do it.
- I have had a wank in both of your houses.
- Oh.
- I don't think that's true.
- I mean, you could be talking about my old house
but even then. I'm going to go with false.
- It is false. I have only wanked in Tom's house.
- Oh what? Which one?
- Your current one
- When?
- So it was before shooting "17 Ways" and I had to sit
in your house whilst the coffin arrived.
So I was on my own for a while.
- Oh my God.
- You were wanking while waiting for a coffin?
- Yeah
- Wow. Okay, this changes-
- I got a call from the driver, he was like
"I'm about an hour and a half, two hours away."
I was like, that's plenty of time.
- At university, I discovered that I have a
genital condition called Hypospadias.
- True.
- Not congenital. Genital.
- Yeah. Let's go with true.
- Oh.
- I remember this story.
- Well if you remembered it correctly,
you'd know that I don't.
So the full story is we were all at the pub.
And I was like, "penises have two holes in them.
One for the jizz, one for the pee."
And everyone was like, "no, they don't.
They have one hole" and I'm like, "yeah they do,
mine does."
And they were like, "no that's just you"
and I looked it up and it was technically
that would be called this condition called Hypospadias.
And people went to the bathroom to check their dicks
and turns out basically,
I've just been looking at my dick wrong.
- I once witnessed a drunk man punch a horse in the face.
- I'm going to just, again, you're from the North.
I'm going to just fully believe
that's normal behavior in the North.
Like I don't want it to be true.
Although I can imagine it would have made a great sound.
- I'm going to go with false.
- You're no fun.
- It's true.
- Yay. The horse got punched.
- Just sat in a field and this drunk man
with some cans in one hand,
was trying to get onto the horse. The horse wouldn't let him
so he punched it in the side of the face.
- Fucking hell
- And it was like, what do we do now?
- I'm hoping the horse just ran at that point.
- I don't know what would have been better,
if he just got on the horse and started riding the horse.
- It could have been such a beautiful friendship.
- I once tried to hire a private detective
to find a lost teddy.
- Once again, gonna assume this would be
something that happened when you were a child.
- What?
- I'm going to go false.
- I'm going to go false because I feel like
you've already sent a letter to a sex offender.
You don't want to run that risk twice.
- I did really do that.
- Oh my God.
- And it wasn't as a child.
Alison and I went to Center Parcs.
She brought along one of her beloved soft toys
and left it behind.
- No.
- And we tried calling Center Parcs they couldn't locate it.
So I even went as far as to try to hire
a private detective to go to Center Parcs for us.
And he just said, "let it go, mate".
- Yeah.
- What a shit private detective
- Because the truth is obviously a child
probably picked it up and took it.
- I think it's more likely a cleaner binned it.
- So in the end I managed, it took about two years
in the end I found an identical version of the same toy
on eBay.
- Maybe you found the same toy.
(gasps)
- All right. Here's one that I've never said publicly.
But is this technically the truth?
I play a talking magnet in, "Don't Hug Me I'm Scared"
- (both) True.
- But how do we know it's true?
- Because we were here when you recorded it.
- That'll do it.
I forgot you here here.
- I once woke up one morning in the middle of a forest
wearing only my boxes.
- False.
- Yeah. I'm going to have to go with false because
even for you, in your wildest years, that's a lot.
- It is false.
It was for a video.
- Oh really? Pretending to wake up in a forest.
I also got stopped by a farmer while filming the video.
With a shotgun.
- Were you filming it alone?
- Yeah.
(laughing)
- Don't worry sir, there's a camera.
- No, that's exactly-
I was like "I'm filming a video
(inaudible)
- Alison is pregnant
(dramatic music)
- Oh fucking don't. Oh fuck don't do it.
- It's too soon
- Please be false Eddie.
- Well, it is false.
(laughing)
- That would have been so funny to do though
- Son of a bitch.
Oh fuck.
Oh Jesus Christ.
- I have willingly eaten human remains.
- True.
- Not accidentally, willingly, intentionally.
- I remember you accidentally eating some
but unless there's a separate occasion
where you purposely ate some.
- Well you're both right.
I have accidentally consumed ashes twice
in my life by being in the wrong direction of wind.
But I did intentionally dip my finger
into some ashes when I was in sixth form.
So I was like 16 and my friend was like,
"I have a jar of my aunt's ashes.
Would you want to taste it?"
And I went, "well yes" and you know what, it was spicy.
- My dad's name is Gary.
(laughing)
- Gary Gough?
Brilliant
- False
- I think even now on this video, you wouldn't
share your dad's name with us.
So false
- Dammit
(laughing)
- Elliot's very secretive.
- Well, no. It's that you keep asking
what my dad's name is.
- Exactly.
- And I never tell you.
- I have bad news for you Elliot. You've lost.
I already got shot for this and he lost
fair and square.
- No.
- You can't shoot me on the bare ass,
but you can shoot me on the ass.
- Elliot do you have any last words?
- My dad's name is Kevin
(gunshot)
Ow
That wasn't too bad.
- Yeah I told you it wouldn't be that bad.
It was really bad on the thighs.
- It's like a little sting.
- Well, how did you do at home?
Those who were playing along.
I forgot to tell you to, but I assume you did anyway.
What are you doing?
- It still stings.
- Yeah, it will do. I shot you in the ass.
Thanks for playing boys.
I can't believe it turns out, I know you all the best.
I am the winner.
Eddie is the second winner.
Elliott is the last winner.
- The vast majority of mine were like,
I know a memory but the memory you were talking about
was different.
- I twisted them.
I'm a sick man.
Right?
Let's go get on the sex offenders register.
Bye.
(upbeat music)