august 5th 2015 i was in a motorcycle accident on the initial impact i exploded my l1 vertebrae
broke into multiple pieces and crunched in on my spinal cord causing an immediate
full paraplegia from the waist down emergency room they performed a six vertebrae spinal fusion
first they had to go in and remove a lot of the bone fragments and sort of inspect but
they fused from t 11 to i believe l three and uh l1 was the vertebrae that was
that was broken uh i spent about three and a half weeks in the hospital
with initially no motor control no motor function no sensation no ability to move and begin
starting to get a little bit of sensation in my legs uh higher up on my quads i got
a little bit of sensation to touch but i still couldn't walk or move
my legs it was about three and a half weeks i had finally my uh enough motor function to
i had my first bowel movement and i still hadn't been able to urinate or or walk properly but after
three and a half weeks in the hospital i decided to continue my healing at home at home i was
having a lot of difficulty with bowel movements and i didn't have my i didn't urinate for six
and a half or seven months on my own we were i was doing self catheters four to five times a day
to drain my bladder and through that six months i did begin to get a little bit of healing in my
uh basically general a little bit more sensation and primarily in the front and
the the front of my calves and the quads but not so much in the hamstrings and
back of the calves about seven months i went to physical therapy once or twice a week
where i remember specifically when i came in and the physical therapist did muscle testing on me
she decided not to tell me at that point but she based on her diagnosis said that there's
she told me two weeks later or three weeks later that there's no way i should have been able to
stand up with how weak my legs were at that point and she felt like i was walking on willpower and
motivation and discipline alone and and so i know that my legs were really weak still
at that point but i was very determined to just continue pushing and pushing and so
physical therapy for a couple months and it sort of got to a point where it
wasn't doing much and so that that initial eight months or so was very rapid healing
and and i was really excited about that and when it started to plateau that continued on for about
a year there was really slow and incremental changes to my function and motor capabilities
somehow my my surgery failed about two and a half years post so then i went back to the hospital
the titanium rod had snapped and they removed the full surgery removed the l1 vertebrae
completely and then added another vertebrae to make it a full six vertebrae fusion jumping what
would be seven which was l1 where they installed a titanium cage instead so following that was this
whole other beginning process of healing so that's about three years ago now there was a an issue
for me i'm very against taking the medications and the painkillers and so i had a lot of battles with
with that between the pain between my own personal ideas about it and eventually sort of surrendering
to trying it and then stopping and i felt like every time that i stopped with the medication
i started to heal faster and so my goal was to make sure to eventually get to that point as well
so there were some moments where things were a little more but then the pain was so extreme
i was so unhappy and i was so angry and upset that i couldn't continue and i i kind of went back and
forth there a few times so primarily it was still plateaued but having had had that second surgery
there was a new round of muscular atrophy from an already extremely weakened leg muscle system that
basically it was kind of like starting over in a way but i already knew what was possible so i
wasn't in any kind of doubt that i get back to at least where i was so that's around the time when i
learned about who dr joe dispenza was at multiple different healing groups and and retreats and so
now it's been about five and a half years and i came here with a new hope and desire
to really get back to 100 and so coming here is yeah by far the most healing that has happened
since that initial six month of more rapid healing out of the hospital
so i still have a major loss of sensation which was primarily along
the rear of my legs starting at the waist so my my gluteus and my hamstrings there was
some sensation if i push deep but brushing the skin was really no sensation at all and
backs of my calves and under sides of my feet as well as a little bit of my left foot having
a tiny bit of foot drop and really weak muscles to to correct that both feet and ankles really
weak with stabilization and so my balance and walking is difficult my calf muscles are and were
very underdeveloped and atrophied that was the status coming in and and to give a percentage of
of sensation it felt like i was maybe lacking about almost 10 percent to 15 of my lower limbs
feeling um which has been a roadblock for me and continuing to heal and do physical therapy because
my goal is to continue to strengthen these muscles but you can't really work them if they don't fire
right so so of course i had no expectations coming here but i was open to anything and everything
and so i did have a very incredible what i would call miraculous healing moment here
on our third day of meditation following a breathing meditation where we lay down
and sort of let the body do what it wants to do and stay in this space
i i laid down my body was relaxing i was in a very heightened altered and sort of connected state and
and i just sort of surrendered my body and relaxed it all the way and was in a state of
uh almost a lucid aware but sort of dreamy state and i was very intent that i didn't want to fall
asleep although i felt like that was that was close possibility and at one moment i
i felt myself start to drift off just for a second and i i remained conscious of the whole event but
it was just enough to initiate what was like a second of a dream where i was stepping down
with my left foot on a tile floor that was kind of wet and my foot just slipped out and
it like completely woke me up and it woke me up into this incredibly heightened state i was in
where i saw my eyes were closed of course but i saw my whole body and my leg and my
my body was vibrating at this point and kind of shaking my leg was shaking and i'm
primarily talking about my left leg because this is actually the worst of the two
and i felt almost like a burning and and sort of more of a frequency through my through my leg and
primarily in those zones where the nerve pathways run along the backs of my legs where i don't have
i didn't have sensation and feeling and in in that same moment there was a very clear visual
experience uh coinciding where i felt like i could see with my eyes closed i could see my whole leg
and i could see it sort of pixelate and like fractalize into more like an energetic or
molecular form and it still helped the form of the leg but it was it was it was free in this
way where i could and at that same time i felt it start vibrating way more and it completely
sent me into a state where my whole body was convulsing and i was shaking and realizing that
something was happening and i didn't know exactly what it was but it was outside of
my control at this point and and i wasn't interested in controlling it i knew that
whatever was happening i was i was ready for and so i felt as if this energy was moving along what
had been the the pixelated leg and putting it all back together essentially uh and this is of
course a visualization but coinciding with this feeling of this happening and it was like heat
and vibration and my legs shaking all the way down to the toes and it moved from the top down
all the way to the toes and at that point i was i was very aware of what was happening i also was
sort of in a very relaxed state and more of a removed from my cognitive and and um
you know judgmental mind and so i was i was not really thinking deeply about what was happening
but i also knew that i was scared to because i felt like i might stop what was happening
and it felt like it was going to be something really good so following that event
my body continued to move and i was feeling this incredible waves of energy moving through me
and all of it felt very positive but i wasn't sure exactly what was going on and i did feel hopeful
that it was relevant to my nerve issues and really can bring some benefit and so i made sure not to
get too overly excited for the you know case that maybe nothing had happened but i sort
of just laid there and i was in such a heightened state that i didn't trust that i could feel really
anything it was all connected at that point and i could feel everything so to really go in
and see and think would have pulled me out of the state i was in so i sort of just laid there until
the end of the meditation and the end of the laying down portion of the meditation
and i i felt this kind of joy and hopefulness arising that something incredible had happened
but but still refrained from you know jumping to conclusions and so i just quietly started to get
up and rolled my blanket up and looked around and kind of just checking in really feeling
is there really possibly new sensation in my legs like is this possible right now and checking in
and and sort of in disbelief that that it could happen so quickly like that and so i remember
really not wanting to speak about it not wanting to think about it much and just that i would get
up and i would start walking and i would know when i do that and so i got up and i tried to sort of
stay in the state i was in and i um intentionally refrained from speaking with anybody and really
engaging and pulling me out of this state and i walked out of the hall into the main hallway
and i could already tell something was different and it was it was it was still
so much energy in my body that you know i really could barely decipher what exactly i was feeling
but i knew that i could feel something and it felt hot still and it almost felt like like
it was burning a little bit and so just the fact that i was feeling alone was already good because
this area had been numb for about five and a half years now and slowly had gotten better in some
areas but that this was this was good news and this seemed like something good had happened and
so as i was walking previously i wasn't able to move my toes on my left feet individually
isolated or altogether barely on my right foot my toes are pretty much permanently curled
in on the on the right and besides the big toe and so so when i finally got to my hotel room and on
the walk to the hotel room i could feel that my toes were moving in my shoe as i was walking and
i felt more stable as a result and then i could feel that i could feel my pant leg on the backs of
my pants and i was i was so excited i was actually concerned to make a big deal out of it because i
really just wanted to absorb this moment in a calm state and check in and make sure i knew what was
going on and so when i got back to the hotel room and i took off my shoes and i started feeling my
legs and i could feel i could feel in areas that i absolutely could not feel before as far as to
touch the sensation was extremely limited on these areas and and then most significantly because
touch and sensation does vary time to time you know whether i've stressed my
back or i've slept a lot or been working really hard it does shift and change a little bit so
the big shift that was absolutely new that it was undeniable which really the sensation now
is undeniable but the fact that my toes moved and i could control them individually on my
left foot and that the curved toes on my right uh had straightened a little bit was it was to
me purely miraculous and and um you know this was on day three and so there's a lot of continued
healing that's taken place a lot of uh understanding and looking into what this means and
realizing this new relationship with this feeling and sensation and i became aware that yeah i have
sensation now but the muscles didn't miraculously grow back from atrophy and so now i can feel them
and now i can move them and i can feel the bottoms of my feet which i could never feel
and usually had a constant neurogenic pain and heightened all the way out to the toes more so
that was gone and i could feel the bottoms of my feet and so this this to me is incredibly exciting
uh it would be more even more amazing to be able to just walk perfectly i have a hard time walking
but what i know for sure is that now that there's sensation and movement that i can continue this
process and that you know my muscles can fire correctly and i can start to begin to retrain
how i move and walk and i'm extremely satisfied and excited about what happened