Has a girl ever told you
she really likes you but she only
sees you as a friend?
Uuh, frustrating isn't it?
Well, there is a finesse
on how to get a girl hooked
in the early stages of dating
or even when you're courting.
And if she doesn't like you
or sees you as a friend
almost worse.
It could be because you've done
one of these two
counter-intuitive things.
Let's look at
the difference between
charming the panties
right off her
and turning her off
so her clam
clams right up.
Welcome to just the tip Tuesday.
If you want to get her hooked on you
in the early stages of dating
you've got to make her feel
like she's the lucky one.
In fact, for a relationship to work long term
really both sides
have to feel like they're the lucky one.
But for her to feel like
she's the lucky one
you've got to make her feel
like you're different
from all the other guys
who are fawning all over her.
How do you do that?
Glad you asked.
Mirror, mirror on the wall.
What happens is
she mirrors
your feelings about yourself.
So, if you feel insecure with her
she's going to think you don't have enough
confidence to be with her.
If you feel not good enough for her
she's going to feel you're not good enough for her.
So, step one
and the counter intuitive things
you need to do to get her hooked
in the early stages of dating
is to
assess her.
Here's what I mean.
If you are showing
any kind of interest
she already knows
you're attracted to her.
We automatically assume
that a guy who is
paying attention to us
is attracted.
That's how men work.
You probably wouldn't spend
too much time with her
if you weren't attracted.
Women know this instinctively.
And if you already know her
and you're spending time with her
then she also assumes
you like her personality.
So, there's already
an expressed interest in her.
How do you get her
to feel like she's the lucky one
when you're the one interested in her?
You assess her
by assessing
her value.
In other words you're qualifying her
to see if she's right enough for you.
If she qualifies for you
essentially what that does
is psychologically
retract your desire.
Gives her something to work for.
As you know if you put her on a pedestal
she'll not only look down on you
but she'll not trust your judgment.
Here's why.
She knows she has flaws
but if you are
ignoring those flaws
if you are failing to see them
or not even wanting to look for them
she will assume you don't have standards.
You're just desperate, needy, clingy,
and have low self-worth.
Desperate and needy
equals low value.
If you want to be a high value man
you have to have standards
and you have to evaluate her
in a way that makes her
want to qualify for you.
If you can acknowledge her flaws
she'll automatically
be reassured that
you're not desperate and needy
and that you do have standards
and that you are a high value man.
Because the reality is,
key point, we all feel
safer emotionally
with someone who actually
sees the real us
flaws in all
and still actually wants us.
Maybe even wants us more
because of those particular
quirks and peculiarities.
So, if you acknowledge
her flaws
bring them to her attention
in a specific way.
Stick with me don't be so impatient,
come on now this is important.
Then she will
feel safer with you
and more connected
and bonded with you.
Assessing her
means your primary question
that's always in the back
of your mindset
is does she
qualify for me?
You are the prize.
She knows you're physically attracted
she might even know you like her personality.
But if she thinks
her beliefs, values,
or personality if you don't know her
is still under review
she'll respect you more
and want you more.
High value men
practice discernment
because they know their worth
and they know there's another
bus coming around the corner
and it might be a luxury bus.
Low value men
don't practice pre-qualifying
because they don't know
their own worth.
And they don't trust there'll be
any bus they can get on.
Never mind a luxury bus.
Bus being a high value woman.
And at the same time you don't try
to act superior to her
because you have no need to.
Stick with me because I’m going to give you some examples
of what this looks like in the real world
right after I give you tip number two
to get her hooked
in the early stages of dating.
Assessing you.
Self-assessment,
so you're going to handle
her flaws
and weaknesses
with gentleness.
But you're going to handle your own
with strength.
Here's what I mean,
because you know
your worth as a man
you're not afraid to talk about
the areas where you fall short
your so-called flaws.
Key point,
you don't feel the need
to hide them
and therefore she doesn't feel the need
to find them.
You can talk about your flaws
in a non-apologetic way
because you know everybody
has flaws
and you don't feel
diminished by yours.
Bonus point, if you're actively
working on
improving in those areas
especially areas where a woman
would need to feel safe with you.
A man who can acknowledge his flaws
and take responsibility for them
makes a woman feel
emotionally safe.
Women's primary need
is to feel emotionally safe.
So, talking about your flaws
in a way that is both self-aware
but also self-respectful
is definitely a way
to get a woman hooked on you
in the early stages of dating
because other guys
don't do this.
They try to hide their flaws
but if you can talk about yours
then she automatically trusts
that you're not going to pull
a bait and switch on her.
And key point,
she'll be less inclined
to actually look for flaws.
Instead she'll focus
on your great traits
and they'll be magnified.
Self-accountability
ranks high on the sexy metric
for both men and women.
If there's any ladies watching this
take note.
Your motto,
progress not perfection.
Now let's look at some examples.
Assessing her,
you want to make sure that you're not coming across
as sarcastic or judgmental.
You can even ask her what she sees
as her flaws.
If she jokes and says
she has none
you can say something like
huh, looks like we've already
uncovered one.
But let's say she does reveal a flaw
maybe she says uh, I’m terrible
at budgeting.
Umm,
some of us are terrible at budgeting.
Do not
let her off the hook,
ignore it, bypass it,
or just let it slide.
This is an opportunity.
Key point, a lot of guys
might ignore something like this
because they're afraid that if they acknowledge it
or bring it up
or test her on it
that she's going to get turned off
and not want them.
This is the counter-intuitive part.
No, it shows her
you have standards
and see the real her
flaws and all.
So, you need to address it
gently but realistically.
You can say something like
hmm, sounds like
that's not working out for you.
What are you doing about it?
You're not judging
you're assessing
you have standards.
Now, let's look at
assessing yourself examples.
So, when you're assessing her, gentle.
When you're assessing you, strength.
Gentle with her
equals non-judgmental.
Firm
with you
equals responsible.
Remember responsibility and accountability
rank high on the metric
of sexy
and making her feel safe.
Let's look at the same example used on you.
So, let's say you say something like
I tend to live in the moment
I’m not in debt
but I haven't saved as much
as I probably want to.
So, I dot, dot, dot
insert self accountability statement.
You might say
so, I set up a budget
and now I’m automatically
saving 10% of every paycheck.
Key point.
If she is just a gold digger
or into fun
yes, this will be a turn off
because she might think or assume you're broke.
However, if she's a woman looking for
a potential long-term partner
somewhere in her psyche
she will say huh, okay.
He sees where he has a flaw
and he's working on it.
Of course, this may depend on
what stage of life you're in.
If you're in your 20s
and you're just starting to save 10%
well, that's going to go a lot further
than if you're in your 50s or 60s
and needing to start saving.
But work on what you can
and take responsibility
where you can.
And key point,
the more impact
your particular flaw
has on her feeling
physically or emotionally safe will determine
how many questions
she asks you about it.
The more questions she asks
the more she's actually evaluating
your potential as a long-term mate.
This is actually good
that shows she has standards.
If she's a high value woman
she's going to want to make sure
you don't have a lot of
real red flags.
Or you might say something like
I’m upgrading my skills
so I can legit ask for
a promotion and get it.
So basically, she wants you
to see and acknowledge and accept
the real her
while also challenging her
to be her best self.
And at the same time,
she wants to be able to see
that you can acknowledge
where you need to grow
and are taking responsibility for it.
And if you don't know where to start
if you don't know where you need to improve
or what to start on first
that's going to make the biggest impact
in your dating or relationship life.
Then you definitely want to get
my wake up to love program
because it's going to take you through a step-by-step process
to figure out where you need to improve
for you
not for anyone else
and what to focus on first,
you got this.
Sending you big loves,
God bless.
Thanks for being here.
(Music)