- Cars. You love 'em. I love 'em
I love 'em a little bit too much.
Probably, way too much.
Way too, let's be honest.
Fast cars. Slow cars. Low cars.
Trains! I love trains too.
Who doesn't love a good train?
This is my 2015 Subaru BRZ.
I love it so much. Sporty, great to drive.
Only thing that's not good about it,
it's terrible to make out in.
Honestly, it's bad to go on a date in.
It's terrible.
Okay. It has bucket seats. They're low into the cabin.
It also has this shoulder-bow thing.
So, your range of motion-
It's great for driving in the corners.
For making out? Not so much.
And also you have this transmission tunnel.
You can't even make out in the backseat.
I mean you can try, but it's, it's not gonna
be a good situation.
She's gonna think you're weird.
It doesn't make for a great experience.
So today I'm gonna be looking for
the best car to make out in.
It's definitely not this one.
And to help me out, I've employed
my less car-enthusiastic friend, Garrett.
- Hey man. This is that car you're always talking about?
- Yes.
So we're each gonna pick a car, test them out and find out
what makes a car great to make out in.
- So what kinda car is this?
It's little logo has all those stars.
- The Subaru logo.
- I have a friend who just bought a Subaru,
because he's a dad.
Let's see it.
(mumbles) Get in. Alright.
You feel like a race car driver when you got this?
- Every (bleep) day.
- Yeah?
(making car sounds) - Not when you say race.
- Should we sit in it?
- I'm a man that likes to drive.
- Oh my God. It's so far on the ground.
(playful music)
- How does that feel?
- Bad! What an uncomfortable vehicle.
You love this thing, huh? - I love it.
(car horn beeps) (laughs loudly)
- That's really the horn?
- Yeah, it's a horn!
(car horn beeps)
(loud laughing) - It's a small car!
- Let's pretend that we're parked.
- Right.
- And we're gonna do some canoodling.
(grunting) (mumbling)
- Yeah, no. This is super uncomfortable.
I think the first step should be looking for more space.
You want a roomy front seat, but an even roomier back seat.
- Yes.
- You think of any cars that would fit that?
(playful music)
- Hey ladies (laughs) I'm sorry.
This has gotta be like the perfect
car to make out in, right?
- You feel like a big man up there?
- I feel tall.
- Yeah I know the feeling.
Well it certainly looks bigger.
- Yes, there's no way that you can't make out in this car.
When you own this car, you just feel like
you're in a rap video all the time.
- It's a nightmare of mine. It's a nightmare.
- It's beautiful.
(heavy hip-hop music)
- No, no, I'm out.
- What? It's so, come on! It's, it's.
(relaxing music)
- This is wide. Holy smokes.
We are so high up. I feel like I'm in a big rig.
- I feel like I need to do this.
- Okay so we're pulling up to a bus,
and we can look into this bus.
- We're looking into this bus.
- We're as high up as these people in this bus are.
- Merging, I feel like everybody
gets the (bleep) out the way. - Uh huh.
- Coming into this car I was like okay,
this is gonna be ridiculous,
but now I'm like I wanna drive up stairs right now.
I'm not gonna lie.
- I'll tell you Rick, we're driving by a lot of
attractive men and women and none of them
are giving us a second look.
- Has anyone noticed that we are driving a badass car.
Come on, it's yellow!
Alright, this feels apocalyptic.
It is a monster truck.
As kids you'd be like oh look at this huge thing,
rolling over cars.
- Yeah but if I was never like,
if I had that car I could get a cute girl to kiss me.
What is this handle for?
I got a lot of places to hold on to for dear life.
- Yeah
- Alright, so let's say we're on a date,
oh yeah you've impressed me with your yellow car.
Now it's time to make out. - Cool.
- Well the first thing I notice is that
you're very far away from me.
And it's (grunts) so far away.
There's a gigantic piece of equipment in between us.
There's no space in here!
Where is the space in here? - This is.
It looks like it's just going to giant chunks of plastic.
- Yeah. Try the back.
- Well, I don't really fit much better back here actually.
My legs are really up against this.
There's just not enough space in here.
I feel like it's like they didn't use the space correctly.
- They didn't hollow out the interior at all.
- On the outside it looks big,
on the inside, it feels small.
- This is a bummer.
- A bummer H2. - Bummer H2.
- So, this is actually a good point, okay.
So, if you flip this down there's only
about two inches of visibility into the car.
So, it does provide a pretty good like sort of intimacy.
- Like curtains.
- There's the first real positive.
Oh, we've got Onstar. That's good.
- Yeah. - Onstar, how can I help you?
- Yeah, we're about to (bleep).
- We're about to (bleep) in this car.
- So, bigger was not better.
I was wrong on that part.
- Let's try the other end of the spectrum.
- Sure. - I think it's kind of cute.
- I know, I don't I don't like it at all.
It's too small. It's a person's wingspan.
I should not be able to hug this car.
- You love cars, I would think you would
love to be able to hug your cars.
- The hood is plastic.
This is a Tonka toy. I don't like this.
- I don't know Rick, I like it.
Look at its little cute little exhaust.
You've even got trunk space.
That's about the same amount of space
as you have in the backseat of your car.
That's pretty good.
Not even compared to the car,
this is probably the biggest door I've ever seen in my life.
- (laughing) Yeah.
- In case it's like, attacked by a mountain lion,
and it needs to make itself look as possible.
- Yeah.
- Here, get out, I wanna try something.
Right? Do the donuts?
This is kinda cool, huh?
- No. - I think it's pretty cool.
- This is terrifying.
Just admit you're getting closer.
- I don't think so.
- Closer. - Maybe I am. Hop in.
(funky music)
Flooring it.
(car honking)
- Bop bop.
- It's a little, - Beep beep.
- Look at how small of a tight space this is in.
I could pull into this. - Yeah.
- You know you're looking for a place to pull over
just to like maybe do a little bit of canoodling,
- Yeah.
- Anywhere is your parking spot.
- At the same time as soon as you
pull up to pick up your date,
they're just like , what the, wheres' the rest of your car?
- Not bad pickup.
- I swear I can hear the Jetson noise.
(spaceship noises) (laughing)
- You are terrified, - I am.
- You are holding on for dear life.
- I'm holding onto the side that hard, God.
- This isn't even a handle up here, this is just
- This isn't even, this is for glasses.
- Glasses, sunglasses. - It's for sunglasses.
What the fuck, your oh crap bar is just a pair of Ray-Bans.
Oh no. (groovy music)
- So, I mean the steering wheel
I feel a lot of like buttons and stuff.
We've got these little dials and things.
There's a lot of circles.
I feel like I'm in like a bubble bath.
- This is about the size of a bathtub.
- But that's very romantic. - Maybe.
- You know when you're at a movie with somebody
that you're like looking to hookup with?
- Yeah. - You like casually,
kind of brush their elbow.
You don't know like oh, do they like that or not.
You're all about that.
We're brushing elbows and shoulders and arms.
Because it fits everywhere, you can park anywhere.
Which means you make out anywhere.
- But then also everyone can see you making out,
because you can't tint the windows.
Everybody sees everything.
And then we can go to the backseat if you want.
We can go in the trunk and you could
technically kidnap me.
- Sure, okay.
But I mean, I think this is like, much better, yeah.
- We'll say that, it is better to make out in than my car.
- Than the big car.
All you're looking for is to make out
in the front seat of the car.
Smart car's not a bad choice.
We've spent a day looking at cars.
- Yeah. - What a waste of a day.
- Ah, it's a great day.
If you're trying to make out in a car,
the best one would probably be the smart car.
By the time you get into the car you're already making out.
It's the first time I've hugged Garrett.
Now we're best friends.
- We were pretty good friends before.
(funky music)