Hey guys, welcome back thanks for joining me for another video if you are new to my channel, my name is Stephanie
I'm a life and relationship coach if you are a subscriber, welcome back. Thank you so much for your love and support
This week. I want to get into some ways that you can tell someone that you're dating is toxic. So ladies
Let's get into this. Let's talk about five
specific things that make a man toxic
So if you are out there and you're dating and you are struggling
especially after coming off of a bad breakup or relationship and you're one of those women that's like
I'm not gonna be able to trust myself. How can I trust anyone else again?
These are things that you have to learn and educate yourself on so you make good decisions
So learning these signs on what makes a guy toxic is absolutely huge
I wish I would have learned this stuff growing up because
Definitely wouldn't have been so attracted to the bad boys. I would have known that
They're unhealthy and I would have known what a healthy relationship looks like
but I digress so one of the first things that can definitely be a sign that someone is toxic unhealthy and possibly even
Narcissistic is it is all about him wherever you want to go. Whatever you want to do. It's all about him
The conversation is all about him
This person never asks you how your day is and even if they do you just can tell you know intuitively ladies
This is something that comes very very easy
To not just women but men as well
But especially with women your intuition is bar none the best out there
So use that intuition to your advantage, you know hands down when you are with someone and it feels off
You know when it feels like it's just all about this person. They never really care about me
And what's going on with me, everything always goes back to what is going on in his life. It's all about him
And what's convenient for him and what he wants to do first sign that you're with someone that is definitely toxic and unhealthy
the next sign that you are possibly dating someone that is toxic is
They when they talk about their ex they always blame their ex. They're always bad-mouthing them now. Don't get me wrong
We're coming out of a relationship
It is normal sometimes for our ego to get right front and center and want to just bash and blame the other person
For everything that went wrong in a relationship and why she's crazy and why she did this that was always, you know
she was always so jealous and all those things but
The true test of a man is going to be how he owned his part in that
Relationship so someone that's healthy no matter what the other person did to you
They're going to be able to own what they did in the relationship
That was I don't want to say wrong but their part in their relationship as well and it could be that maybe I was weak
And I didn't stand up to this person
There has to be some responsibility or accountability for their part in the relationship because it takes two to tango
so
How do they respond to?
The past relationships that they have in their life was everyone crazy was everyone to blame
Are they always pretending like they're perfect then they do nothing wrong
and if they don't pretend like they're perfect if they if they verbally say because I have been with someone that
Used to do this all the time that they would say. I'm not perfect. I'm not perfect. But yet they would never know
Okay
Well, what is what is it about you that you do need to work on and if you do know what it is
Are you consciously taking steps to actually work on that that definitely is a test between not just someone who's toxic?
but just someone who just isn't healthy isn't in touch of themselves doesn't have self-awareness is not going to always be aware of
When you're having a disagreement when you're having to compromise on something when something when you're going through something challenging in your relationship
Are they gonna be able to stand up and raise their hand and say, okay?
This was my part and why this maybe had been a difficult situation or why we couldn't overcome this
You know, what? Am I doing that? I need to constantly be working on to within myself because no one's perfect
We all have baggage and stuff
You want to be with someone who has that kind of awareness and is constantly
Wanting to grow and learn and better themselves and not just put everything that goes wrong in their life on someone else
so the next thing and definitely ties in to that last point is does this person know where their wounds are so
You know as we're getting to know a person and we he the stories we hear about what our childhood was like
What was our experiences you know in our 20s and 30s what are things that we've had to go through in life?
What are the things that we should have struggled at in our life? What are the tough times that we've been through?
What are the wounds that are going on inside of me?
I think that that's absolutely huge because if you are with someone that has that type of self-awareness
No matter what difficult times you go through and you're gonna go through them because that's life and that's relationships
is this person going to be able to rise up and
to want to work on things or are they gonna be the type of person that when things get a little muddy and difficult that
They just bail or that they just put everything on you or that their bad behavior
There's no accountability for their bad behavior, and they'll just flip the script and call you crazy so or jealous or whatever
So it's not a matter of that man reflecting and saying, okay
My girlfriend is being a little jealous right now
but maybe the reason why she's being jealous is because I've done things to cause that
jealousy to actually happen
and again
If you're the woman also being able to self-reflect and saying am I being jealous am I overreacting?
And being honest with yourself when you say no I'm not overreacting. I have every right to feel this way, especially
When someone is giving me reasons to feel this way, maybe they haven't cheated or done, you know anything too
too drastic
but they've definitely done things that have made me feel uncomfortable and I don't like it and when I verbally communicate that to him
How does he respond? Does he flip it and blame it on me or does he say you know what?
Yeah, I see your point
I understand where you're coming from and even sometimes maybe he won't see your point
But he'll at least respect how you feel
So the next thing is he's not consistent and this is not just the sign of someone that's toxic
it definitely is but it also could just be the sign for someone that
Doesn't know what they want and maybe they do know what they want, but they don't want to communicate that with you
They're not gonna tell you
Hey, what I'm looking to do is just be intimate with you for about six months
And then I'm gonna venture off or I just want to get in your pants
So basically in two months from now I can still be day like doing my thing in different ways
so maybe someone doesn't want to
Say that to you because they want to abuse you they want to get whatever they want out of you being manipulative
but on the flip side if you're not holding someone accountable and
If verbally communicating hey, like you're not consistent with me like you say you want a relationship
but then when when push comes to shove and it's Friday night and we make plans and you bail ass men or
When I'm talking to you
You know
consistently throughout the week and then all of a sudden the weekend comes and you go am ia if you don't know how to
Verbalize that stuff and if you don't ever stand up for yourself
Then you're gonna go on the hamster wheel and this does gonna happen time and time again
And you're gonna get stuck and you're gonna get more
Emotionally invested in this relationship and then it's gonna be harder to leave this relationship
And also you're teaching people how you want to be treated by what you're tolerating. So if you're tolerating someone who is inconsistent who?
Doesn't do what he says he's gonna do
you know someone that you're okay with just flaking on you the last minute and you never basically
Setting a standard and being able to communicate with this person
If you're not that kind of a woman
you're always going to get or attract men that are gonna be abusive that are gonna take advantage of you and
that will cheat on you or leave you or whatever because there's no
There's no
Level of confidence in yourself to say hey
I love myself, and I want to be with you, but this stuff needs to change and if it doesn't change
I know that I will find someone that would be
Willing and glad to give me the things that I'm actually looking for which is quite frankly if we're talking about this subject
what you're looking for is just
Basic respect we're talking about bare minimum right now. We're not even like raising the bar. We're just talking about point blank
basic communication and respect between two people
You know, let's even talk about just like a friendship not even really a romantic partner
And the last thing is and I hate to even say this because it should just be common sense. But if
We're coming from that
Codependency if we're coming from lack every and desperate and we feel like we need to be in a relationship
We need a man to fill me up inside if you have all of that stuff going on inside of you
You will a thousand percent overlooked
substance abuse sexual abuse physical abuse
verbal abuse can sometimes be a little bit tricky because we tend to
Think that it's okay for someone to say a word to us or to yell at us or be
Passive-aggressive or do any of those emotionally abusive tactics?
because we haven't learned that you know what that's just as
Severe as someone putting their hands on you or doing anything else because again it gets into your psyche it gets into your you know
Your head and it messes with you and it can do more damage
Than you can honestly even think so being aware of
Does this person have any type of abusive problems? How do they handle confrontation?
How do they handle when I say something to them and they don't like it?
You know, how does this person respond to me? That is really where you're gonna find whether or not someone is toxic
unhealthy versus someone who is healthy has self-awareness loves themselves and taking
Responsibility for their own self in this relationship. Remember one of the biggest things with
relationships in general not just
Partnerships and romantic love I'm talking about friendships co-workers people that you work with family members anything
Learning how to love yourself. This is why I created this channel. This is why I coach this is why I make these videos
Learning how to have confidence in yourself learning how to self-soothe this stuff is so important because all of this fluff stuff
Me teaching you like okay. These are the these are what this is
What emotional abuse looks like this is what a toxic man looks like, you know
This is what manipulation looks like all of this stuff. Yes. We have to learn it
We have to know that way when we see it. We know what it is. We can label it. Okay, this person's been manipulative
Okay, this person's having some narcissistic tendencies right now. That's absolutely huge. But
What are you going to do inside of yourself?
That's causing you to engage with this person that's causing you to tolerate this behavior. That's the stuff that we always to work on
so
I hope that this has helped you definitely go check out my videos on how to increase your
conference how to learn how to parent yourself learning how to self-soothe so so important stuff if you have liked this video,
please don't forget to give it a thumbs up and don't forget to hit subscribe and the
Notification bell and I will see you next week