-Welcome, welcome, welcome to
"The Tonight Show."
You're here. You made it.
Thank you for watching.
[ Cheering and applause ]
Thank you for being here.
[ Whistling ]
Well, guys, I want to say congrats
to the Kansas Jayhawks,
who won the NCAA Championship...
[ Cheering and applause ]
...after pulling off one of the biggest --
the biggest, in fact,
the biggest comeback in tournament history.
Yeah, it was an amazing game.
The Kansas players woke up today like, "It felt like a dream.
You were there and you were there.
The Tin Man, you were there."
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, it was the biggest comeback since the
"Can you hear me now?" guy got that job working at Sprint.
[ Laughter and applause ] -Yeah.
-Good gig.
Speaking of comebacks, today,
Tiger Woods, who's still recovering from an injury
[ Whistling ] that many thought would end his career,
said that he plans to play this week at the Masters.
-Wow. -Yeah.
[ Cheering and applause ]
Golf announcers were so pumped, they were like,
[ Hushed ] "This is amazing.
[ Laughter ]
I'm so friggin' excited right now.
I can barely contain myself.
[ Laughter ]
Just the tiniest amount of pee just now."
[ Laughter ]
-Oh. -Yep, people thought Tiger was done and, now, he's back.
When he heard, Tom Brady was like,
"Uh, kind of my thing, but whatevs. Okay."
[ Laughter and applause ]
Let's get to some news.
Today former President Obama
returned to the White House
for the first time since leaving office
and everyone there seemed really happy to see him.
Watch this.
[ Cheering and applause ]
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah. After a few minutes, Biden was like,
"Alright, that's more than enough.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Let's remember who the vice president --
I mean, the president is. I'm the president now."
Yep, Obama said he would've visited sooner,
but gas prices were too expensive.
[ Laughter and applause ]
But it was fun to see the former president at the White House.
Obama felt like a guy who was visiting his old high school
and Biden was like the old gym teacher who never left.
[ Laughter ]
That's right, Obama returned to the White House
and C-SPAN was all over his big reunion with Biden.
Check out the schedule.
[ Classical music plays ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter and applause ] -There you go. I love it.
[ Cheering ] Very down to the minute.
Hey, get this -- I read that, after taking on criticism
for their handling of the pandemic,
the CDC has announced plans to revamp the agency.
[ Murmuring ] Ooh. Yeah, this feels like
when Domino's ran those ads that said,
"We know we suck and we're going to work on it."
[ Laughter ] You remember that?
Yeah, the CDC was like, "Step 1 to the revamp --
get Obama to come visit."
[ Laughter ]
The CDC will announce their plan next month
and then a new plan the month after,
then go back to the original plan.
[ Laughter and applause ]
So far, their only idea is to change their name
to the American Centers for Disease Control,
just as they can go by ACDC.
[ Laughter, cheering, and applause ]
Well, over the weekend, thousands of flights
were delayed, due to bad weather
and flight attendants had to get creative
to keep passengers entertained.
This is real. But watch this.
-♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪
♪ Clap your hands ♪ [ Clap-clap ]
♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪
♪ Clap your hands ♪ [ Clap-clap ]
♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪
♪ Then you really oughta show it ♪
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Cheering ]
-After a few minutes of that, passengers were
begging the air marshal to tase them.
[ Laughter ] They were, "Okay. Let's just get it over.
Let's get out of here."
And that wasn't the only plane having fun during the delay.
Take a look at what they did to pass the time
on another flight.
[ Indistinct conversation ]
-[ Clapping ] Hurry up!
[ Laughter ]
-Toilet paper race.
[ Laughter ] -Toilet paper.
A toilet paper race.
[ Laughter ]
It looks bad, but on Frontier Airlines,
that's the hot towel in first class, yeah, yeah.
[ Laughter, cheering, and applause ] So, not bad.
And, lastly, before we go, I'd like to take a moment to thank
some of our sponsors for tonight's show.
They don't always fit in the commercial breaks,
and we want to make sure that we mention all of them,
so it's time for "Tonight Show Sponsors."
Here we go.
-♪ "Tonight Show Sponsors" ♪
♪ "Tonight Show Sponsors" ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Guitar playing sweetly ]
♪♪
"Okay. See you guys tomorrow."
[ Laughter and applause ]
And finally...
That's all the "Tonight Show Sponsors" right there.
We have a great show.