Do you think that you might be being
used by someone and you're not sure?
By the end of this video,
you can ditch that person ahead of time
and save yourself a whole lot of pain.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung
and I'm an attorney.
I'm also a narcissist negotiation expert.
I have written two bestselling books.
Negotiate like you matter
and breaking free step by step divorce guide
and I've helped millions of
people through this channel
and thousands of people,
through my programs
and through my law practice
and I'm on a mission to help you to I give lots
and lots of pre advice through this channel
because I've also dealt with
narcissists in my personal life,
but I'm also really really committed
because I want you to break free from
those toxic relationships
and I know the signs when people are being used.
So if you haven't subscribed
to this channel,
make sure you do that now.
Subscribe.
Hit that notification bell
and I'm gonna give you five signs to make sure
that you can avoid being used by someone
because I wanna make sure that you can
avoid being used by someone.
If you think that you're being used by
someone and you're in these situations.
I know I've been used by people.
I still feel when that's happening
to me at this point.
you know and especially now in my life,
it's never fun when that happens and
you know and narcissists are very,
very well known for this.
You know they're opportunists.
They attach themselves to people
because they have that narcissistic supply.
This is something that I have said
many times they attach themselves to
you because you have so much value,
not because you have so little value.
You know, even though they devalue you right away,
you know they make you feel like you have no value.
But think about it.
Think about it.
Why would they have attached
themselves to you if you had no value.
Right? I mean, they're not stupid.
They attach themselves to you
because you had so much value it gives
them this feeling of power to manipulate
and exert control over somebody
that they think is powerful.
Right?
The more powerful you are,
the more powerful they feel
when they exert control over
somebody who has power.
Right?
They do want to use people that have
a fair amount of power as well.
So they're gonna use you to get where they
wanna go if you're no longer use full to them,
then they'll just drop you.
It's sad that's the way it is
but they're kinda like boat shows who they look to see,
is there any more meat left on the bone
and if there isn't like,
a carcass is empty and they'll
just move on down the
road and see if there's another one available
and so that's really how it is.
I mean and without feeling,
without any kind of thought behind it,
you know, they just look
to the next form of supply.
I mean, they're predators really
and and it's a form of survival for them
and, you know, you you can't look at it personally.
You can't take it personally
because something happened in their
childhood that caused them to feel this way,
that caused them to shut off their emotion,
that caused them to deal with trauma in that way
and and there's all sorts
psychological reasons behind it.
But you know, you can't save them,
you can't fix it.
I always go back to the three C's.
You didn't cause it.
You can't cure it.
You can't control all of those things.
Right?
and so you know, don't think you can hang
around and fix it because you can't.
You know, you're just gonna deplete yourself
and empty yourself in the process.
You're just gonna end up sucking your soul in
the process and they might want you to fix it.
You might wanna try to fix it,
but you know, it's this black hole,
this empty hole.
That you know,
you keep pouring yourself into
and it's empty and dark and bottomless pit
on the other side and nothing's going in
and so you keep making deposits and you're not ever
gonna be able to make any withdrawals from that
and so they're still empty
and you're left feeling totally depleted
and so if you wanna avoid being used,
then you know, you gotta figure out
a way to protect yourself.
So, you know in this video,
what I wanna do is give you five ways to avoid
being used by these narcissists,
by these cultures,
by these predators.
So that you don't end up in
these situations anymore.
Alright?
Maya Angelou talked about that,
but when you see how they behave,
believe them the first time.
I'm so guilty of this.
I am so guilty of this.
Giving people more chances,
and then when they future fake you,
when they say ‘‘oh, you know, I I've changed
and all these other things”.
I believe them and I've sat there and
listened and I think that they're sincere
and I believe that they wanna change
and I've listened to the Saaab stories
and and I have this bleeding heart and I'm
an empath myself and I've allowed myself,
you know, that's like fool me once,
shame on me, we try to shame on you.
You know, that whole thing
whatever it is,
that's what it is and you just
you've got to be so vigilant about that,
and it is hard.
It's so hard to do that,
but If you really want to avoid being
used when you see how people behave,
believe them the first time,
really believe it put yourself there
and number two is set
Defend your life with your life
and understand like this is the type
of person that I want in my life carry it.
I want a person in my life who has integrity.
who does what they say they're going to do,
when they say they're going to do it,
and does high quality work or is the type
of person who doesn't compromise their morals.
Whatever it is that you want in your life
and then that's it and when you see
that they're not that kind of a person,
just decide that they're not your people
and and I I tell you what,
one of my favorite things to say is stop
trying to make not your people,
your people, because some people
are just not your people,
and that's okay.
You know,
not everybody has to be your
people and the older I get,
the more I realize that
that's just really going to be okay.
If you really want to get narcissist to respect you,
the more confident you are,
the more they will respect you.
I'll tell you that right now
and I do have a whole video on this
is the only way to get a narcissist to respect you
and I have a whole bunch of ways to get
narcissist to respect you in that video.
Definitely check that out.
Number three,
A number three way to avoid being used is
You know? I mean, you just have to look at the here
and now look at the facts of
who the person actually is.
Don't say, well you know I think
they could be a good person.
I think wanna be a good person.
I think they're striving to be.
I think they're getting better.
You know, nothing like that
look at the here and now.
Look at effects don't look at the potential of
who they possibly could be.
You really want to avoid
being used by somebody.
Don't look at the potential.
Look at who they actually are.
Look at the evidence in reality.
Number four
Integrity is everything.
Integrity is the foundation
of everything in life.
I always say integrity is
one of my love languages.
It should definitely be one of yours as well.
You know, if you really want to
make sure that you avoid being used,
if you really wanna actually
have a great life in general.
Hold yourself to account for
everything that you do in life.
Hold yourself.
Hold the people in your life
to account for everythinga
nd if you keep your word on
what you're to do in your
life and you hold the people in your life,
to account for what they're supposed to do.
Watch to see how your life changes.
If you say you're supposed to
get up at 6 o'clock in the morning
and you start getting up at 6 o'clock in the morning,
hold yourself to account for
everything in your life.
You know, integrity is everything.
When you start to hold yourself to account,
when you say your word is your word and
you make sure that everybody else in your life,
it stays true to their word you'll see.
You'll see how your life changes.
Integrity is everything.
What you say you're gonna do,
when you say you're gonna do it,
how you say you're going to do it
and the way you say you're going to do
it even when nobody is looking makes a
huge difference.
That's number four
and number five.
I mean, this is one of the hardest.
This is one of the hardest for a lot of people.
You know, internally know
your worth and then
you know, really, really stick to
it and not allow people to disrespect you and
just really feeling that inner value,
knowing that you are whole
and complete as you are and I want you to
start right now by putting in the comments,
“I KNOW I’M WORTHY!’’.
I want you to put that right now.
Even if you don't feel it yet?
Just start writing it.
I know I'm worthy.
I know I'm worthy because you are.
You a hundred percent are
you came onto this planet,
there was a one in four hundred
trillion chance that
you know, your dad’s sperm hit
that one egg or whatever it was.
I mean, you were meant to be here.
You are unique.
There was never another
you on this planet.
There never will be another you on this planet.
You are worthy.
You are meant to be here.
So I want you to write
“I KNOW I’M WORTHY!’’.
Right now in the comments
because you are.
If you are struggling,
if you're not sure where to turn,
please make sure you join
my free private Facebook group,
Narcissist negotiators with Rebecca Zung.
Make sure that you have subscribed to
this channel and hit that notification bell.
I also have a free crush my negotiation prep worksheet if
you're negotiating with a narcissist
and not sure where to start.
Make sure you grab that
at winmynegotiation.com.
I also have a free master class which you can join
at icanslay.com.
And if you're struggling and you're not sure
where to turn and you need help with therapy
with support I do have a partnership
with betterhelp.com
You can go to betterhelp.com/rebeccazung.
And get the help and support that you need there as well.
We do get a commission if you go there,
but we just wanna make sure that you get the help and support that you need.
We only recommend services that we trust.
There's a link to that all that stuff below as well.
Remember that today's a great day
to start negotiating your best life
and they only win if you give it.
What you're not gonna do?
Because you're here
and you just subscribe to this channel.
So I will see all of you guys in the next video.