Or. I would make a comment about myself
I'm new here
And I'm just looking to meet people you know say it where people are open to meeting people like you don't want to
Walk into a bathroom pull down your pants tummy
And lean over the guy. Hey, what's up? I'm new here. Just need some people
Being well-liked is an important thing to focus on
I don't mean being well-liked by random people on the street
Screw them I hate people I hate people on the street
Hey people in coffee shops - I'm still not being well-liked
Professionally or by a potential client or by someone who you would like to become friends with and what's interesting is
It's possible to be well-liked
almost instantly
Hey, what's up? I'm Derek Halpern
You're watching planet Derek the place oscar has come to get ahead in business and in life and today. We're talking about
Being well-liked now
What's interesting is I feel funny even talking about this because when I was in college. I wasn't the best at talking to people
Look. I'm not kidding. I'll straight up bad at it
I didn't have confidence in myself, and I never knew how to interact with people I'd always be that quiet
Wallflower who observed but never said anything
Some people thought maybe he's quiet some others may have thought he
Standoffish other people just didn't find me interesting enough to hang out with I know I'm smiling even though I'm talking
About how weird I was but this isn't a pity party
I share this because I look back on
How I used to act in social situations, and I realized
That it's something that I was able to change and I believe
Anyone can change it because if you fast forward to today
You'll find that I know how to enter any room talk to anyone and most important and short
Everyone is having a great time, but don't take my word for it. Here's a quote from my friend Steve cam from nerd Fitness
He's like Derek's a friend of mine
And I witnessed him take over a room in New York City within 5 minutes simply through his actions
Mannerisms and voice it was hilarious and inspiring look
He literally said this about me
And I remember the time to Steve was coming to New York City to visit well to be honest with you
we wanted to go out in the middle of the day, so we were looking at things that we could do and we
Ended up going to a restaurant slash bar and like was it like 2 or 3 p.m.
And we walked in there the place is dead. I mean it was like 2 p.m.
On a Sunday so no one is at a restaurant slash bar at 2:00 p.m.. On a Sunday
It's dead all the people that are there are people who worked there and at this point
I remember I walked in and I'm like my loud rambunctious self. I'm like hey
What's up?
Did someone peen the food here or something cuz the place was empty and everyone laughed because even though that's loud and obnoxious
it
Still kind of broke the ice from the fact that it was it was an empty place so we sat down we had a good
Time now, what's weird is?
Even though I kind of retell this story and laugh and you probably think like oh man
That sounds like you were obnoxious
I can never do that and you don't have to I'm not saying you have to go to a room and be loud
But what I did there was interesting because the psychology behind why that works?
So well is something that we can all emulate in our own personal Styles look. Here's an example
I did a video about this that you might be familiar with but I call it the hey. What's up technique?
Here's what I did I went to a local mall, and I had a simple rule for myself. Talk to every single person I saw
Even if it was just hello or hey, what's up, and let me tell you it felt weird
you know how awkward it is to go up to someone you don't know and
Say hello to them
It's kind of weird actually like next time you're walking from the parking lot
To your lunch spot or from the parking lot to your workplace
And you see someone next to you just like look over and say hey, what's up, it's gonna
Feel awkward, but let me tell you I did it. I went to the mall I said hello to every single person and
This was when I felt painfully introverted. I was so shy that I'd rather stay home and pretend
I was sick didn't go to a party yet
I did it anyway and guess what at first I started off with a McCulloch
And I remember people would look at me weird then over time. I kind of made it a game. I tried loud hellos lo hellos
Try smiling and saying hello by the way if you're an introverted person
And you're not comfortable talking to people don't leave with a smile the smile almost always looks creepy
But I learned that the hard way I also tried saying. What's up? I tried everything eventually
I figured out that the best way to say hello to someone you don't know for me was a
Combination of as I said hey, what's up?
I purposely would intonate at hey, so it sounded like a question
and then I would leave with what's up people would always get a little confused as opposed to defensive and
Say wait do I know you or they just say hello back at that point? I'd always just be honest with them
No, you don't know me. They don't would comment on something that was nearby like I saw you looking at
This thing over here. What do you think as a way to start the conversation, or I would make a comment about myself
I'm new here
And I'm just looking to meet people you know say it where people are open to meeting people like you don't want to
Walk into a bathroom pull down your pants stop
And lean over the guy. Hey, what's up? I'm new here. Just need some people
It's now I can walk up to anyone and talk to them as if we've been friends forever
And it's all in how I say hello look Eve you another example. This is actually the number one way
I conquered my own social awkwardness
As I began practicing things like hello the first thing I noticed was this the more
I did it the less awkward a God setting a rule like say hello to everyone
Acted like the numbing agent the more
I did it the less weird it felt, but what was important was the fact that it was a rule
Say hello to every person
I saw I couldn't break that rule you make a rule for yourself that you plan to follow
You follow that rule what am I doing right now? I'm doing a daily video for you. I made that rule
for now I
Made a rule
Rules are important because when you make a rule you don't violate that rule now
Here's the thing to continue numbing the social awkwardness. I need to keep talking to more and more people
So I kept thinking to myself
I just need more rules so what I did was I decided to talk to everyone
who is
Essentially paid to talk to me
Explain when you buy a coffee at the coffee shop the people who work there are paid to talk to you
They are your therapist of course?
But you do have an opportunity to say something to them give you an example most interactions between
Customer and coffee shop bar Rhys let's go something like this. Hey. I have a large coffee
Anything else no. Thank you. They probably get this a million times a day
Boring, so, I just changed it up. Hey. I have a large coffee, and oh I like your shirt. Oh, thanks anything else
No, that's it
Simple place your order add a quick compliment into the mix and mean it
It's easy if you do it enough you'll start to feel more comfortable saying even crazier things like hey, I'll have a large coffee
Oh, thanks anything else. Wait a second. It's discount Tuesday's is it free now
Here's the thing sometimes. I'd say something and it would land perfectly
And I put it in that mental bank to do it again
Sometimes it would fall flat and let me tell you it feels weird
It feels real weird so what I would do is I would change it up
I would think about what I said trying to figure out why I didn't work and then next time I would
Be in that situation again, I would Reece a a new way if it bombed again. I would never use it again
It was like a natural experiment for me
But the most important thing the more I did it the more I got used to doing it and the more I got used to
Doing it the better at it. I became so now I want to hear from you
How do you open conversations with people you don't know leave a comment below. I'm sure you do something simple like hi
I'm Derek and that's fine, but I want to hear what has your experience been with opening conversations
How has it worked for you in the past leave a comment now like this video?
And if you're new here subscribe to my channel where I want to give you helpful tips just like this video today
And I'll see you tomorrow
You