oh the six are basically you've got
judgment of others when we get scared we
tend to attack people makes us feel
strong we get to protect ourselves
validation which is when you want the
outside world to love you we've got
controlling things we've got being
guarded we've got overthinking and we've
got protecting these are your six basic
ways that human beings protect ourselves
from rejection the problem is is that
each time you do one of these you start
a little loop basically I'll just show
you really quickly well let's just
imagine you're right here and you think
you're not enough to be loved and then
something comes along and scares you and
you pick one of these six ways either
avoid try to be liked protect yourselves
what happens is it pushes the love away
and then when the love is gone you ask
yourself hey where'd the love go and
then you tell yourself oh it's because
I'm not good enough and then you do it
again
and you make these choices and you
basically start making choices that push
the love away and reinforce the fact
that you're not enough and it just
creates this this never-ending loop of
self-loathing which I call the figure
hate it just loops and it loops and it's
running in the background of you all day
every day
and so no matter how many times you tell
yourself you're great this figure hate
will keep self will keep the not enough
concept alive in you
now this sounds like a really just trick
just before you go on before you go on I
want to make sure our audience is really
getting this right so you mentioned the
six things that we do the first one is
judgment I have well here yeah
let's go through that for a second all
right yeah hold it up to the camera that
might be useful okay
so it's a void attack validate control
guarded stalling so it's the choices and
then I see and then on the so on one
side you see the choices on the other
side you see the strategies are the
strategy is what we are using to remove
these choices exactly okay yep great
great oh I the strategy
what we are using to negatively apply
these choices exactly so are these bad
strategies some good strategies they're
neither good I mean they're pushing love
away got it okay so so what I call these
I call these these hurt your love life
so I call these the hurt each Isis
I see the hurt each Isis yep and any
time you do them for instance when you
control or you guard or you stall or
avoid any time you do them they push
love away and they reinforce that not
enough even exists so there's a double
karmic cost that you play so so Daniel
for those of you some people who are
listening to this are listening while
they are driving so they don't have the
video turned on could you explain the
diagram verbally and the list of items
and strategies yep so the six are and
you can hold it up you can hold it up so
so those of you those of us who do have
video can also follow you so at the top
is avoiding and avoiding is just what
you think you don't even go near the
thing you're just too afraid you're just
sitting you see someone that's
attractive don't even go near them just
won't even bother attacking is basically
you feel threatened and so you go after
the thing you feel hurt and so you
attack the thing to make them wrong to
get the thing away from you for instance
somebody didn't call you when you wanted
to be called well now they're an a-hole
they're a there are this it's
calling people names but really you're
just really scared underneath they've
triggered you're not enough miss also we
judge ourselves why do they not call you
I'm fat I'm stupid I'm an idiot I'm bad
I'm wrong so we either attack others or
we attack ourselves okay is that is that
number three or number two I test number
two okay number three is validation and
this is where we feel not enough to be
loved and so we go to the outside world
to tell us that we're loved this is
people liking us telling us good job
making lots of money being pretty any
time you're getting the outside world to
affirm you and make you feel more
valuable that's validation the fourth
one is control which is I'm afraid I
don't want to just you know jump into
life and and go after things I'm too
scared so I'm
to control things I want to know what's
gonna happen what's the outcome where's
it gonna go so human beings by nature
when we're afraid we go into control
mode number five is when we're guarded
you're just afraid to get your heart
hurt so you're protected you have your
walls up you're guarded you're you feel
that if you connect with someone they
can now hurt you so you just don't allow
that connection to happen and you you're
guarded and then the final one is
overthinking and I know anyone listening
to this knows what I'm talking about
you're too afraid to act and you don't
want to admit you're afraid and so you
create some elaborate scenario that you
have to think about and we think and we
think and we think and I will tell
anyone listening that all thinking is
over thinking because when it comes to
the heart there's nothing to know your
heart knows everything love is simple be
open and honest and pray if you're
thinking about it
you're afraid I see I see and as I as
you're saying this I'm recognizing
several situations in my life when I've
applied one of those tactics