what's really holding you back stay tuned hey this is Damon Cart from NLP
Gym bringing you cutting-edge neuro linguistic programming tools and
technology to help you create the life that you desire so if that sounds good
to you please click subscribe to this YouTube channel so you can get these
videos on a regular basis ever feel like you're not getting what you deserve or
do you ever feel like other people are getting the things that you want without
working as hard as you're working or without having to put in the effort and
the sacrifice that you're putting in if that's true this is a good clue this is
a good clue to recognize this may be what's sabotaging you it may be what's
limiting you so this is really important to take a look at and that's what I'm
going to do here in this video I'm on a boat in beautiful halong bay in Vietnam
where I'm shooting this video which is a lot of fun what I find though that a lot
of times what's holding people back is this concept these ideas of deserving
this both for themselves and for other people and how this can cultivate
resentment resentment is a huge reason why people do not fulfill their
potential why people are holding themselves back so how does that all
work what does it all mean how can you stop resenting or what is it
what is it you're resenting actually so let's back up a little bit
when you're growing up you're taught all these rules and ways of whatever social
game you're playing then this comes from your parents your teachers they teach
you what's fair what's not fair what you deserve what you don't deserve what
other people deserve and don't deserve until you you learn all these things and
sometimes they're these are really good things to learn sometimes they're
important sometimes you know they're teaching you the importance of working
hard and focusing on what it is you want and creating that and feeling a sense of
deserving it and so when you feel like you deserve something you're more likely
to hold on to it and keep it so if you are successful and you feel like you
deserve that success you're more likely to keep that success if you feel like
you don't deserve it you're going to find
way to get rid of it from place to place that can change if you grew up in the
u.s. you might go to New York and realize there's a whole new set of rules
there when it comes to playing the money game the business game of entrepreneur
game or just life in general or climbing the corporate ladder so not only is it
different from place to place it's also different from generation to generation
these things change rapidly especially in our time where technology is
affecting our lives rapidly how we spend money how we do business so we have to
allow these things to change we have to be adaptable to these things what
happens for a lot of people though is they bear down on a certain way of doing
things they bear down on the rules and the ways that they were taught and they
think this is the way because though this is a way that I was taught it must
be right and they're not adapting they're not being flexible so they look
at other people who are achieving the things that they want and they think to
themselves well they don't deserve that because I'm the one who's working I'm
the one who's doing it this way I'm the one who's doing it the way that I was
told I was supposed to do it and then it's not happening and then they see
other people breaking those rules or they see other people not doing those
things and they say to themselves they don't deserve it and they start focusing
their energy in resentment most of us have been on both ends of this we've
resented others and maybe even tried to sabotage them because we thought that
you know they don't deserve it this isn't right and then we've been on the
other side of it where we feel like we don't deserve something that we've
gotten and that's where a lot of times the sabotage comes from either way if
you look at what other people have and you think to yourself well they don't
deserve it or you resent someone for something they have not something they
did to you know if they did something to you harmful then it's understandable
that you might be resentful and temporarily I think that's okay that's a
natural reaction you want to get over that of course because again that will
hold you back but if you're if you find yourself resenting someone else for what
they have or what they've accomplished because you don't feel like they deserve
it even if you're right that's not going to
help you that will hold you back that that's because you are it's because you
are investing energy into an emotion and into a belief in a direction that has no
productivity to it it doesn't give you what you want it never will now you can
use that to leverage yourself to change if you can see if you can recognize that
you're resenting someone for what they have or what they've done and you you
feel that pain that that it doesn't feel good and you think to yourself okay well
I need to do something now then you can leverage resentment it's just like using
fear using anger to leverage it but keeping it around holding on to it it's
never going to serve you it's only going to hold you back and sticking to those
beliefs about what you deserve what you don't deserve what other people deserve
and don't deserve if you hold on to that and you don't allow yourself to adapt
and be flexible around this it will always hold you back because you will
only operate within the confines of those limitations but if you realize
that's what's happening you realize hey you know I'm not getting what I want I'm
doing what I feel like I'm supposed to be doing I am doing what people told me
this is the way to do things and it's not working then it's time to change
holding on to that holding on to those beliefs those ideas those limitations
for comfort which is what most people do and it's going to be maybe comfortable
in the short term but in the long term it's gonna be very very uncomfortable
because you're gonna go decades and you're gonna realize you're no different
than where you were you're you're still in the same place you haven't progressed
you having you haven't fulfilled your potential check out where you are right
now have you been doing the same thing operating within the same beliefs within
the same limitations for several years now and not getting anywhere or moving
very very slow if that's the case and you and one good way to know this is if
you find yourself resenting others the people who don't follow those same
beliefs those same rules those same limitations that you've imposed on yours
and they are getting what they want if that if you feel resentment about that
this is a clear indication it's time to change it's time to change your beliefs
it's as simple as just allowing those beliefs and ideas to soften let them
soften by acknowledging they're not serving you it doesn't matter this is
what your mom and dad taught you it doesn't matter if this is what your
teachers taught you if it's not helping you on it's not serving you then it's
time to let that stuff go and see what other people are doing the people who
are getting what they want what are they doing and go take a look at it now if
they're scamming people if they're doing things that are immoral unethical I'm
not then no of course you don't want to do those things those may look like
shortcuts to some people and they may be tempting but in the long run
those things aren't good they're not gonna work you're not gonna be happy
with yourself look at the people who are living the lives that they want to live
look at the people who are getting what they want look at the people who are
happy who are successful and go look at what they do and stop holding to these
ideas of deserving this and resentment resentment is just it's it's a trigger
it's it's a it's a sign it's something that should let you know anytime you
experience it anytime you look at someone who has something you want and
you feel resentment or jealousy or envy that's that should be an alarm for you
to say okay something's not right here I have something to figure out so the
real key here is intervention this is what we the main reason why you do an
NLP technique or a process you want to intervene and stop this program or stop
this pattern from happening and put something in its place
so you have to become keenly aware of when you're experiencing resentment and
that just starts with being very honest with yourself so a lot of times we
experience resentment and if somebody were to ask us or you resentful of that
person because they thought whatever it is most of us are like that it's very
hard to admit when we're jealous or envious are even resentful so it takes
getting very honest with yourself if you're going to change this when it
happens you go oh I feel like I know what that is now I can do something
about it you don't know that you're and it's unconscious and for most of us
it is unconscious you can't you can't do an intervention you can't stop it you
can't change it you have no choice about it it just happens so be aware of it in
your body what does resentment feel like and then stop it say okay I know I'm
experiencing resentment so what can I do about this go to that resource what's
missing whatever I'm experiencing resentment basically resentment is being
way too focused externally being way too focused on someone else and comparing
yourself to them so get out of that comparison and say okay well I'm not
them I'm not living their life I'm living my life that's gonna be an
individual process you don't have to find that out for yourself what is that
that's missing go inside and ask yourself what resource is missing here
if I'm experiencing resentment what do I want an experience instead which is
something along the lines of abundance and then ask yourself what are you not
accessing within yourself that is creating the state of resentment what do
you need to plug in what is the internal resource that you can get you can access
that you're not accessing not the external stuff but the internal
resources that you're not accessing that if you did the resentment would go away
and you would be back in a state of abundance
that's what's gonna serve you most check out my website NLP-gym.com there
you'll find some free NLP training as well as some free hypnotic downloads you
can download these directly to your phone your iPad and of course if you
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