Translator: Ellen Maloney Reviewer: Denise RQ
Thank you so much.
The six-word story;
the places six words has taken me, and I hope to take you, go many places:
into prisons, schools, therapy groups,
but it always starts with my grandfather on the Atlantic City boardwalk.
I used to love to walk down the boardwalk with my grandfather.
Mark Smith, who everyone called "Smitty".
He came over from Russia in 1911, when he was four years old.
He was a small town pharmacist,
and as we walked down the Atlantic City boardwalk,
the problem was we never got very far.
Because my grandfather, the original Smitty,
stopped to talk to everyone.
People from his pharmacy, customers, friends from college,
or new people he met on the boardwalk
where he was the unofficial mayor of his section.
One day as we walked down the boardwalk, I realized what kids call "an epic fail".
I didn't actually know my grandfather's own story.
I said, "Smitty, tell me your story. Start from the beginning."
And he said something fascinating,
"My story? Who would be interested in that?"
This great storyteller that he thought his own story,
was not a life worth retelling; he was too ordinary.
So I tricked him.
I said, "Look, I have a new video camera.
Let me figure out how to use this thing; just talk for a couple of minutes."
Two and a half hours later, my grandfather stopped talking.
What I learned that day was that everyone has a story; we know this.
But you have to remember to ask.
From there, I was on a quest to help other people tell their stories.
By the way, we're in 2006 now,
pre-Instagram, Facebook was just kicking in.
And how could I do that?
I left what I like to call "my fancy magazine career" which was great;
I worked at places you've heard of, places now out of business.
Start my own thing: Smith Magazine.
Tagline: "Everyone has a story".
Inspiration: my grandfather, Smitty, this great storyteller.
Mascot: chicken.
Why?
Well, Smith magazine was going to be a place where anyone could come
- non-fancy writers, people who've never written before -
and share a personal story.
The perspective of Smith magazine was what I call "the chicken's eye view";
the little guy making sense from the ground up.
Not the ego at 10,000 feet;
an important perspective, but not the perspective that I was interested in.
We had story projects, different topics.
Life-changing moments, put them here. Did you have a break-up? Over here.
Different topics, and people liked it.
But then, one topic resonated like none other.
That topic was inspired by another man: Ernest Hemingway.
As the story goes, Hemingway was once challenged in a bar bet
to write a whole novel in just six words.
He wrote, possibly, "For sale: Baby shoes, never worn."
The six-word novel.
I said to my community,
"Hey, let's give this six-word novel a personal twist;
that's what we're doing here at Smith mag.
Write the six-word story of your life, call it "The six-word memoir".
I figured we'd get a few in,
and it would be fun, another part of Smith.
Went home for Thanksgiving.
The next d-y when I checked my email, 10,000 six word memoirs had come in.
And they were things like this.
(Laughter)
It turned out, the constraint didn't stop creativity; it fueled creativity.
People loved having a parameter.
(Laughter)
Exactly.
We all want to tell the stories of our lives,
but sometimes, we need a little bit of help.
They told these stories without apology,
with humor, and with honesty.
(Laughter)
You know, it's Father's Day today, and what's interesting about the site
is you can go on the site today, you'll see all these coming in about dads.
When something horrible happens in Charleston, you'll see that.
Sometimes, before I wake up in the morning,
I look up at my own site, and I know what's happened the night before.
The thing is, it was a way for people to talk about their own life,
most of us aren't getting called up by The New York Times or The Journal,
or on Twitter necessarily,
but here on Smith mag,
we give people a place to take part in the stories of their time,
in a personal way.
So that was...
that was eight years ago when it started, and since then,
we've had a million six-word memoirs, we've had books and t-shirts,
and I'm going to dramatically undress in a minute and show you another t-shirt.
And that's the least interesting part of the project.
(Laughter)
As the project grew,
others were using it in their own communities,
in ways that made sense to them.
So priests and rabbis saw the six-word form
as a way to get to the essence of complex questions of faith.
Suicide prevention centers and speed dating sessions
used the six-word tool as a way to spark communications,
spur self-expression, or simply break the ice.
I want to take you to a couple of these places,
where six-words has become a tool, before we bring it right here today at Marion.
Now, Google alerts are awesome.
They told me what was happening out in the world with six words;
ideas I'd never thought about.
And the most amazing thing for me
was that teachers were using six-words as a teaching tool.
The first time I was ever invited to speak anywhere
was at my nephew's third grade classroom.
I was nervous.
You think you guys are scary?
40 beady little eyes staring at me, hanging on my every word.
I hope some of you are spacing out, thinking about your own six-word memoirs.
That day, we talked about story-telling.
And we went around, we shared their six-word memoirs.
Our first book of six-word memoirs, called
"Not Quite What I Was Planning; six-word memoirs by writers, famous, and obscure",
the first person that tells me a great six-word memoir on their life
after this talk gets this book.
Their book is called "Not Quite What We Were Planning;
six-word memoirs, by Mrs. Nixon's third grade class.
(Laughter)
I want to share a few today.
"Look mean; be nice to everyone."
Not a bad quote for prison, really.
(Laughter)
Eight years, always the same mood.
(Laughter)
And here's my little zen-master, Emily, "Life is better in soft pajamas."
(Laughter)
We may not figure that out our whole lives, and she's got it down already.
There's been so many six-word memoirs on the site,
and so many from different schools across the world,
but I want to share this one
because this one means more and more to me every time I look at it.
So, young Nava Krieger tells us, "Bears are my number one fear."
But she has considered the perspective of the bear,
who says, "Humans are my number one fear."
(Laughter)
I think about this one all the time.
I think what Nava's saying, whether she realizes or not,
but I bet she does because those nine-year olds are smart,
is that when you know the bear, and you know the bear's story,
maybe the bear isn't so scary.
There are two important words for the project I want you to think about;
spark and essence.
These are all from veterans.
Ask a veteran what happened at war, you may very well get one of two answers:
"I don't know where to start," "I don't know where to end."
Working with veterans groups,
we say, "Look, you're not sure what to say what happened?
Let's just start with six words."
"Too much?!"
"Bring it down to six words, and lets open it back up."
It's a way to start hard conversations.
We're going to talk about that in a second,
but what happens at these meetups with veterans
is that they start with the six words, then they tell the back-story,
and conversations begin.
One year ago, in this very room,
some of the men from Marion Correctional shared their own six-word memoirs.
(Laughter)
How about that guy?
I feel like the military and prison are two things
that everyone has an opinion about,
but very few people have an intimate relationship with.
I mean, lots of people do, but those with the opinions often don't.
But when you talk to a veteran, when you talk to someone in prison,
someone who's gotten out of prison, when you talk to a CO,
you actually have an intimate understanding of someone else's life.
If six words is the way in, then use that as a tool.
Three more words for you: tell me more.
Spark: start that conversation. Essence: sum that up.
Community: bring this six-word tool into the community
to talk among yourselves, convey your message to the outside world.
And a good six-word memoir should work in and of itself.
"Ex-wife and contractor now have house."
We get that.
(Laughter)
But I love it when a six-worder sparks the question,
the question we all want to hear:
tell me more.
Today, four guys are going to start with their six-words on fatherhood,
being a father,
with the experience of being a son,
and they're going to tell you a little more.
Before that happens, I want to tell you one story of my own.
The t-shirt I wear today,
- brace yourself, ladies -
(Laughter)
been doing some yoga,
the t-shirt has six words I wrote which are,
"Parenting; idiot, expert, idiot, expert, idiot."
(Laughter)
I'm never going to figure this out.
The six words I want to share about being a father
are six words someone else told to me.
Buddy of mine named Michael,
one of the first guys in my kind of close-friended group to have a kid.
This kid was nine by the time my kid was 10 or 11 months old.
I was saying, "He's 10, my kid's 11 months old, what's it like being a dad?"
He said, "Man, 10 months old.
Such a sweet age.
But you know what, Larry?
All they want is your time."
I think about that when I'm mucking around with my iPhone,
wishing I could do something else.
And I think about that when I think about the stories that you'll hear
from these guys today about how they make their time work
with their fathers and their sons.
And that making that time work isn't necessarily about
being in the same room,
it's about making it work the way you can, and making it meaningful.
Before we hear from them, I want to thank you for your time,
and leave you with this from George Takei,
our Star Trekkie and an amazing storyteller,
"Share your story, change the world."
Thank you.
(Applause)