Do you feel like your friends and family telling you you're at the peak of your
career, but at the same time you're
unhappy,
you're unfulfilled and you're just coasting through life in this default mode
and wondering, there's gotta be more out there.
Hi, this is Grace Lee,
host of the Career Revisionists Podcast and founder of Career Revisionist where
I show
people how to create careers of significance and expand that into living lives
of fulfillment.
I am talking to you at 9,600 feet above sea level where the air is very thin.
I am right now in Breckenridge, Colorado. Where it is higher, right? Denver,
Colorado, as you know, is also the mile high city, high above the
sea level and I am even higher now in these gondolas behind me, as you can see,
some of them take you up to heights of 13,000 feet above sea level.
So I'm here and I just had a moment.
I just had a reflection that I wanted to share with you right away.
I mean, I'm right now you might say the peak of a mountain,
and this kind of like got me thinking of points
in my career where I was at the peak of my career.
I was making the income that I wanted. I was in a corporate job,
I was in the corporate world, I was in a senior management position and
it felt like I was at the peak of my career because I had responsibilities.
I would have these projects were I was bringing in money for the company.
I had responsibilities more than I ever had before. I was making money,
I had my PhD and I had these benefits that the,
that the company was giving to me. So it felt very comfortable.
I felt accomplished and I felt like I was at the peak of my career, you know?
And I worked at that job for two years, but for two years I was dissatisfied.
I was miserable.
I mean, there were days where I was just dreading the Monday mornings.
There were days where I didn't understand,
why am I doing all of this and how does it fit in with my life?
And how does it fit in with who I want to be?
I just couldn't see that and it didn't make sense.
Why couldn't I be happy if I was at the peak of my career? I mean,
it is estimated that we spend at least one third of our lives in our careers,
one third of our lives working in the company, one third of our lives working,
right. So why is it that we spend a third of our lives working?
And yet the statistics show a survey of thousands of
people showed that 70% of people are feeling not engaged in their work.
They are dissatisfied with what the're doing. So it seems like there's an
unbalance there.
And I've talked to a lot of people who just tell me, Grace,
I am being paid well. I have great benefits at work. You know, I couldn't have
imagined having the job that I do. And yet I'm so unhappy. Why? Why is that?
Why can't I be happy in this? And so this is the question.
Why is it that you're at the peak of your career?
You feel like you're at the peak of your career,
all of your friends and family are telling you, you're at the peak of
your career. People would die to be in your position.
Yet why do I feel so unfulfilled? Why do I feel yet so unhappy?
And here's the thing. The reason why is that we want fulfillment.
And the reason why that you're not fulfilled if you are at the peak of your
career is because money does not
equal fulfillment. Job title does not equal fulfillment.
Projects that are given to you, opportunities at work
does not equal fulfillment. The thing is,
if you are not doing something that is aligned with your highest value,
then happiness and fulfillment will allude you.
So you must figure out first and foremost, first and foremost,
what are your highest values, right? And so this is not a trick question.
I mean, oftentimes when I ask my clients, what are your highest values?
They tell me things like, well, honesty is my value is my highest value.
You know, not stealing time from my boss, being responsible.
Those are my highest value.
But is it really your highest value though if being at work and showing up on
time and not stealing time for your company.
If that's your highest value, then how come, for example,
then how come you are wanting to rush home
a little bit earlier every night to be with your family.
So the thing is, is it what you're doing?
Is it aligned with your highest value or do you feel that your highest values,
what your highest values are, are actually idealisms? There're social idealism,
so honesty, integrity, authenticity, those things are ideal to have.
They are social idealisms, but are they your highest values?
Not values that were instilled upon you,
not values that society is telling you that they're good to have,
but what you're naturally inclined, to those are your highest values.
Look at it. It's easy to figure out, look at where,
what area in your life are you. naturally inclined to think about?
Where do you spend most of your time thinking about,
what do you spend most of your time talking about?
What do you spend most of your time reading about and where do you spend most of
your space?
Just look around you and you will be able to pick out what your highest values
are.
The way that you can instill fulfillment in your career path is if you make your
work, you make your career path,
your career journey aligned with your highest values,
and it's okay to be honest to
yourself about what your highest values are and not needing to feel guilt about
it, not needing to be ashamed,
to feel ashamed about it because if your highest values are to spend time with
family, it's to be there for your kids
at breakfast in the morning and not to rush in the subway or rush in a taxi to
work. If your highest values are that you want to be there at a dinner,
at breakfast with your family, it will show in your life and you will feel it.
Right? And so that's why every day if your work is not aligned with that,
you'll find yourself trying to look
for ways to go home just a little bit earlier or try to look for ways just to
stay home a little bit earlier so
you can wait for your kids to wake up in the morning to have breakfast with them
in the morning and
if those are your highest values there's nothing wrong with that.
First of all it's to remove the shame off the table.
There's no need to feel guilty about that being your highest value, rather,
the way to get fulfillment in your career is to honor those values.
It's to first acknowledge them and then to honor them. You might be thinking,
well Grace, I get paid a lot of money. I have the benefits that I need to
support my family with.
I have an excellent job title and maybe even you have the corner office in your
company and you're asking,
well how do I give all of that up? You know,
maybe your friends and family are telling you you're at the peak of your career.
How can you want something different? But let me ask you,
are you happy where you're at? Do you feel like,
and all your friends and family telling you, you're at the peak of your career,
but at the same time you're unhappy, you're unfulfilled and you're just coasting
through life in this default mode and wondering,
there's gotta be more out there, wondering why you keep continue doing this.
Well, that is what I call the Golden Handcuffs.
You know the Golden Handcuffs because you feel like you can't leave because they
got you. They're paying you, you've never been paid so much before.
Or they're giving you projects,
that opportunities you never thought you could have before or maybe
their benefits that can give your family and yourself,
the healthcare you need or the allied health care that you need.
So that is the golden handcuffs.
It makes it so difficult to leave that position. Now,
I'm not saying that you need to quit.
I'm not saying that you need to walk away from that.
What I'm saying is that it's time to do a deep introspection.
It's time to really reflect on, is it true that that is my highest value?
Is that income that benefit? The corner office,
those projects, those opportunities, that job title,
are those truly your highest values? If they are,
then if they are true of your highest values, then you would be fulfilled.
You would be happy.
You would feel like you are aligned with your purpose. If you're not,
then it's something else. It's time to explore.
What is that? What is truly my highest value, right? If it's not the money,
if it's not being paid the highest. If it's not that corner office,
then what is it? Right? Give yourself that space.
Give yourself that permission to explore that for yourself because there's only
one life. There's only one life to live and how can we not make that awesome?
How can we not live life that is true to ourselves?
How can we not be authentic in this career path that we have? Right?
And in doing so, you can be an example to those,
you can be an example to your family, to your kids as well,
that it is possible to reconnect with your purpose and to be honest and.
honoring of your highest value and your purpose.