[Music]
hey this is Jackie angel with ascension
presents today I'm joined by my friend
Kim zember founder of unforgotten faces
which is a ministry for widows and
orphans in Ethiopia right and you're
also the founder of a mystery called
overcome and that's what we're gonna
talk about today so Kim won't you share
more about that ministry yeah so
overcome is basically a platform for
people who are whether they're living in
the LGBTQ community or struggling with
maybe same-sex desires don't know what
to do
it's a landing pad to know that they're
not alone and then we can talk about
these things openly and not have to keep
them hidden and in the closet I wanted
to make this video with Kim because I I
was doing these conferences and kids
were asking you know after I did a talk
on dating and then they were asking you
know what does it mean to be have
same-sex attraction or be gay in
Catholic and I think the root question
is because you know when you're talking
about dating they're talking about the
purpose of sex that sex the purpose of
sex is between a husband and a wife it's
for to bond the husband and wife and for
procreation and then I kind of share
like you know so when you're dating it's
appropriate to show signs of affection
but anything that is arousal lete it's
supposed to be is reserved for marriage
and it's supposed to and in the
consummation of a husband and wife
becoming one flesh
right and there's a spiritual dimension
and a physical dimension to that and so
then they're like okay so then basically
you're telling me that one as it you
know if I'm gay I'm not ever supposed to
be marry either gonna be a cat woman or
a cat meow yeah and the root the root of
that question is so you're telling me on
I can't be happy well I can't be happy
because you're telling me number one I
can't have sex and then number two I
can't have a romantic relationship I
can't do this in this Miss so the
question is can you be happy and so I
want to ask you it's like I know you you
are so joyful you're so you're such a
gift you have this amazing ministry
you're like such a gift of self can you
be happy yeah well I think you just said
something yes you can and
I don't like cats so that wasn't an
option for me I'm okay with dogs they
don't want multiple but you know what
there's such a lie out there first and
foremost you know you talked about sex
sex does not make you happy
it does for those moments but usually
you're left with something when it's not
in line you aren't left with an
everlasting happiness and joy so it's
something you either have to keep doing
or move on to someone else whatever it
might be so in particular the same-sex
attraction when it comes to being happy
or being alone you know I thought okay
well then I'm gonna have to be a nun or
the Catwoman and that was clearly off
the table the reality is like when Jesus
says if you want to be my disciple if
free will
total choice right if you want to be my
disciple then you will not hey you might
have to then you will deny yourself pick
up your cross those aren't like follow
me daily right and so in that whatever
the desire is mine just so happened to
be one of mine was same-sex attraction
right and so to deny myself doesn't mean
to ignore it it doesn't mean like brush
it under the rug pretend like I am
totally attracted to dudes and get
married which I did but it doesn't mean
that it means to look at it
confront it and say Lord I give this to
you I surrender this to you I deny this
part this desire because it's not who I
am and I give us you and I want to
follow you daily what do you tell people
who come to you and say listen how do
you be so joyful like what are kind of
things in your life that that give you
that joy obviously I know the first
thing is Jesus but yeah but what does
that look like I do go to Mass every
morning with all the probably your
grandma's and I loved it but I found a
true joy in denying myself I relate a
lot of my denial of self in different
desires that I have to cheesecakes
so super random but not so random I
really enjoy cheesecake I know it sounds
super weird but I do my grandma made
this killer cheesecake I won't get into
it but it's good but I knew that I was
not supposed to consume that every day
like you just shouldn't right if you
want a certain healthy lifestyle that's
probably not part of it if I desire
cheesecake is it wrong well it might not
be a good desire
but it's not sinful to want cheesecake
the sin comes in the sin comes in when I
choose to walk out that desire that I
know is not in line with Christ
there's where sin comes in right so am i
unhealthy
let's take sin out of it cuz everybody
freaks out when we say Stan right am i
unhealthy because I want to eat
cheesecake no no right
am i unhealthy if I consume cheesecake
quite often most likely yeah right so
it's the same we need the power of the
holy spirit to strengthen us to not walk
out these desires right so in Scripture
it says take every thought captive to
the obedience of Christ not the
obedience of your feelings not the
obedience up no the obedience of Christ
right so with that those desires those
thoughts those are not there they're
sinful thoughts it doesn't make you a
sinful bad person struggle just like
every single one of us if it's not with
same-sex attraction it's with something
no one is free from sin no one besides
Jesus Christ is free from sin and no one
is free from temptation like I still
desire it but I don't feed that desire
at all anymore and I found a joy in that
and now when things come about I've
found other ways to find real joy that
lasts coz the moment I'm done with that
piece of cheesecake the joy is gone I
actually feel sick right and so I found
the same with these sexual desires too
is in the moments they were amazing I'm
not gonna lie but the moments the moment
ended I was back to that reality of the
lack of joy true joy that is everlasting
and so I found that through Mass through
community right through being authentic
please please please authenticity right
when we could be real with each other
may not be same-sex desires it might be
pornography it might be lust perversion
it might be greed pride right all these
other things that are weighing us down
and keeping us from true joy and if we
can be real with one another in
community as sisters as brother and
sister in Christ we can talk about these
things and walk through them together
and so community Mass the Eucharist
confession them there a lot and
adoration time and silence is like the
thing the world says don't do it because
Satan knows what silence with the Lord
will do
so yeah what what advice would you give
the church families with with kids who
have same-sex attraction priests who
obviously have people in their parish
what what advice would you give them be
real
be truthful don't change the truth of
Jesus Christ God was is and always will
be his word does not change he does not
change and I'm so grateful for that like
as much as I wanted him to change
I actually didn't so he knows he is God
and we are not so priests parents
friends be real in the truth of Jesus
Christ always wrapped in his love if his
truth comes without his love you've
separated who Jesus says you've created
a new Jesus if you just love without his
truth you've made him a hippie and he's
not I know he did like a lot of peace
anymore the the long thing but he's not
a hippie he is God Almighty come down
and sow and don't separate don't just be
truthful
don't just be truthful without the love
of Christ write truth and love do not
separate them whether you're a priest a
friend a mom a dad a grandma the truth
of Jesus Christ with the love and
compassion of Jesus Christ is the
fullness of Christ and that's what truly
sets us free no matter what we're
struggling with no matter what that that
thing is right that cross Paul says he
had a thorn right whatever it is the
truth and the love of Jesus Christ sets
us free I thought that the world was
supposed to make me happy and and for
years it lied to me and I bought I
bought it left and right and so I'm so
thankful for the surrender and it's
constant surrender dude it's not once
oh I surrendered so now I'm good like
for the rest of my life no the moment
the Lord reveals and heals something
there's something else he's on so now
we're really dealing with pride with me
so pray for me but it but it is there's
always something and I'm not ashamed to
say that this is something I battle with
why can't we talk like that
what are you battle with what is it and
can you talk about it openly and freely
because revealed wounds can be healed
what does it mean to be gained Catholic
or to have same-sex attraction and be
Catholic first of all I know those terms
some people they use these terms
interchangeably I don't even know what
you would say about this terms like
using the terms gay or having same-sex
attraction well I think realizing that
the
ties to someone's true feeling so we
just want to be always sensitive to that
and so I mean no offense I lived and
dated women for years so I'm not coming
from a place of judgment I'm coming from
a place of kind of unzipping my heart
and sharing what that is and so we'll
just those say gay for the sake of how a
lot of people do identify but I guess my
first question is usually you know
speaking at conferences and doing
different things I always do a QA or
just people come up after and I always
get asked you know how can I be you know
gay and be Christian or gay and be
Catholic and my first question is like
why is gay coming before your Christian
identity you know so I think that's
something to look at like
super-important is there anything else
that if a young person comes to you and
says you know you know how again how do
I look what is there anything else that
you want to kind of say to those those
young people or those adults you know
who are asking that question you are not
alone you are not alone
do not hide how you feel but please
please please do not waste the blood of
Jesus Christ what he shed on Calvary was
for each one of our sins do not pretend
that these desires and whatever they
might be same-sex or whatever that
they're not sin don't change what sin is
you're not alone there's people who
struggle there's people who can talk to
you about this not force you to be
different that is not Jesus either
but you're not alone God loves you he
loves you he loves you he loves you I
could say it until this tape runs out
and say it over and over he loves you he
loves you with every fiber of his being
you can't even imagine the love that he
has for you but he's called you to a
fullness he's called you to a holiness
so that you can receive the fullness of
his love and walk that out every day and
there is a part of denying yourself that
is part of that equation to receiving
the fullness of his love but he loves
you the church welcomes you no matter
what you're struggling with but be real
with that in please please please please
for your sake for your sake and for the
call on your life do not identify
yourself with your attractions or your
feelings please you're a daughter or a
son of Christ let him define who you are
not yourself let him be God and not you
well thank you for joining us me Jacqui
and Kim we hope to see you next time at
ascension presents