Translator: Phuong Cao Reviewer: Zsófia Herczeg
I have a question.
(Laughter)
By a show of hands,
how many of you feel good about yourself?
I've asked this question in front of thousands,
and less than 10% raise their hand.
Welcome to being human.
We all struggle with insecurities,
and these insecurities can really hold us back
from being engaged in our life.
And I've always believed that to feel really good about ourself,
it's really important, as I call it, to be lit up in life;
it's important to connect with our passion and our purpose.
For the past three decades,
I've been running a really successful staffing organization.
We get people jobs.
And this concept of being passionate in life
is one that I've brought into the fabric of my organization.
I am really committed to my staff being lit up,
I want them feeling good about themselves
and to feel as if they are contributing.
So at the core of my being, I am really shy.
And I'm an introvert more than an extrovert.
And I'm very familiar with these feelings of insecurity.
I want to share with you my story today
and how I moved through my insecurities
and tapped into that passion and purpose
so you can do the same.
I started to not feel good about myself when I was a kid.
I was four of five children.
And one of my sisters was 18 months older than me.
I constantly was comparing myself to her.
I felt like she was prettier and more popular and thinner than me.
To make matters worse,
I, in the fourth grade, was put in the lowest-level reading group,
the "red" group.
You can imagine what that made me feel.
That's the first time
that I heard this negative chatter going on in my head.
It was this judge, it was this judger, this critic saying,
"I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough."
We all hear that chatter, right?
Sometimes it's louder than others.
In fact, humor me, and close your eyes for me.
And I just want to ask you,
How are you feeling about yourself?
Open your eyes.
So, were you judging?
Were you self-doubting?
Were you criticizing?
Did you feel awesome?
Did you feel connected?
Those are the thoughts constantly running through us.
And I learned that there are over 70,000 thoughts
that run through our head on a daily basis.
And 80% of them are negative.
80% - think about it.
As a kid,
I really struggled and tried to figure out what to do with these thoughts.
As a Presbyterian minister's child,
I went to Hebrew school and catechism with my friends -
(Laughter)
all to search for meaning.
I was lonely.
And then,
I was searching and moving through high school and college
and still searching for this meaning of life -
really out not fitting in.
And my family thought for sure I would join a cult.
(Laughter)
My first job in Boston,
I met a mentor who introduced me to this ancient tradition: meditation.
And it was through this experience of meditation
that I connected with my inner self,
and I had this huge epiphany.
Here's what I learned.
I learned that, oh, my gosh,
this negative chatter going on in my mind is not real.
These limiting beliefs are not real.
It's made up.
And all of a sudden,
I felt like that's what had held me back in my life so far.
It's as if I had a speed limit on my life.
Who wants to go 45 miles an hour?
And once I discovered this,
I started to practice more and more.
And then I started to thrive in my job.
And I was in sales, and I was on fire.
Why? Because I started to feel good about myself.
I had confidence.
And then, when I was 26,
with this new sense of confidence and belief in myself,
somehow, I had the courage to open up my own company.
And we started to thrive. Why?
Because I was passionate about what I did.
And I was also committed to helping others be passionate about what they did.
So I wanted to find someone the dream job,
and I also wanted to have people come into my company
that wanted to help create a culture that was lit up.
Through two recessions,
I got through those two recessions practicing meditation.
I had this laser focus.
So I was able to let go
of all of the external stimuli and circumstances and stay centered.
And this was a really great gift.
And this company grew over the next two decades.
And then the third recession hit.
And when the third recession hit,
for whatever reason,
I had trouble going inward and practicing what I knew worked,
and instead, I panicked.
And I felt like I have to fix things.
And I was living on four and five hours of sleep.
My cell phone was on 24/7, and I was on it,
and I was absolutely exhausted.
And in this time, there was no meditation experience
other than what I call that "drive-by experience,"
introspection on the go.
So I was totally submerged
in being a CEO, a wife and a mother to four wonderful children,
and I imploded.
And I knew.
I said, "Things have to change.
What do I do?"
And so it was one day when I was driving home,
45-minute drive home from work,
and I realized I didn't know what route I had taken.
I had no clue.
And this is when I said to myself,
"You've got to change. Things have to change."
I was not passionate,
I was lonely,
and I was lost.
So what I did is I said, "I have to do something."
I started to go inside,
and this other thing that happened in this time
is that these limiting beliefs kicked in.
I started to say to myself, "I'm not a good leader.
I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy."
And then I knew that I had to turn inward to look for self-reflection.
It was not an easy process.
And I had to get quiet again.
Because I remember
that this is what had gotten me to this point so far.
So I took time, and here's what quiet looks like:
Quiet is sitting with no cell phone even in the room,
no TV, no papers, no people, no distractions.
And I started to meditate again.
And in meditation, I discovered,
"Wow, when we're so stressed out,
why do we give up on taking care of ourselves?
Why does that happen?"
And I became centered again.
I became focused again.
And this experience was so enriching for me.
So I wanted to make this experience permanent.
I wanted this change to be permanent in me.
So I knew what to do.
I said, "I have to just set this vision and commit to it and stick to it
and take action."
Now, this realization was both exhilarating and terrifying.
First step, I went into my VP of Finance,
and I said, "We will be building a huge meditation room."
Can you imagine his look?
Oh, boy.
I said, "I'm committed."
I want my staff to be able to have a space where they can self-reflect
so that they don't spiral down the way I did.
And furthermore, I want to teach them
how to recognize those limiting thoughts and limiting beliefs
so that they can learn self-awareness
and be more productive, successful and happy in life.
And then I thought,
"What if I took this a step further?
What if I went out into the community with this?"
So I got really excited about this.
I had the vision of opening up an institute
where we would teach mindfulness and emotional intelligence
as ways to overcome obstacles and release our limiting beliefs.
And I shared this with my leadership team,
my board of advisors and my friends and family.
And things didn't go as I planned.
I got shut down.
"It isn't the time for this."
"Boston is not ready for this."
"You'll jeopardize your brand."
"You will ruin your company."
I was devastated.
I could not imagine how connected I was with my passion and purpose.
And I felt so shut down.
And I knew I could make an impact on the community.
So I had to go inside again,
and I self-reflected.
And here's what I did.
I said to myself,
"You know what?
These voices that I'm hearing have clicked in again
because, you know, the roaring lion of my limiting beliefs
just love what people were saying to me."
And I had to usher that to the side
and stay focused
and listen to my intuition
because my intuition always tells me the truth.
And so the institute would become a reality.
So I went back to my leadership team,
and I said, "We're making this a go. We're moving forward."
Because if I don't move forward, I will live to regret it,
to which they said they were on board.
And that was three years ago.
Since that time, we've trained over 500 people.
We've connected people through mindfulness and teaching emotional intelligence
so that they are released, and they can live more limitless lives.
So I ask you,
What are you passionate about?
Is there anything that's holding you back?
And if so, what price are you paying -
emotionally, physically, spiritually?
These are challenging times for many.
I wonder what it would be like
if you were able to acknowledge those negative thoughts
and let them go.
And then
turn the volume and the noise down on your limiting beliefs.
What would open up for you?
What would be possible?
Unlimited possibilities.
No speed limit.
I encourage you to take time out every day for self-reflection.
Even if it's 10 minutes a day,
it can make a world a difference.
And this is where you can connect with your inner self
so that you can define and understand your passion
so that you're able to make the right decision
for whatever you want in your life.
I'm living the most lit-up life I have ever had in years,
and I'd like the same for you.
Thank you.
(Applause)