- IAN: $1 taco vs. $1,000,000 taco?
Damn, that's gonna be good taco.
Shut up!
- Hey guys, I'm Keith and this is Olivia.
- Hi. - And this is our sound guy
we're gonna put on camera
for literally no reason whatsoever.
So, thanks to our corporate overlords
at FuzzBeed,
today we're going to eat three different tacos
at three drastically different price points
to figure out which price of taco
is most worth the price point
prices price set based on its price points.
[funky music]
First place we're going is this taco cart
right near where I rollerblade.
- Hello, FuzzBeed. Big fan.
I love your videos where you talk about white privilege.
This is the $1 taco.
It's made with taco meat, and lettuce, and other things.
- [muffled]: It tastes like the ones from Jack in the Box.
- IAN: Great catch. I actually go over to
the Jack in the Box where they sell
the 99¢ tacos for two tacos
and I bring 'em here and I sell them
for twice the price.
[accordion music]
Do you guys want a $2 bottle of water?
[suspenseful music]
[slowed]: $2 bottle of water?
[suspenseful music]
- How about two bottles of water for five dollars?
[bottle clangs] - No deal.
Go. Go eat your taco.
- So how'd you like the $1 taco?
- I love how all the lettuce is located on one corner,
and I love how the beef is a paste,
and I love my mom at little bit more
than my dad.
More taco facts coming at ya'!
Napoleon's favorite food? Tacos.
- That's pretty difficult to believe.
- Fact--it is possible for a taco
to be the same size as a swan.
- Okay, cool. We're here.
[saxophone music]
- It's this guy again!
- Oh, no, no, my brother also sells tacos,
so you probably met him.
- No, I'm pretty sure it was you
just with more facial hair.
- You have the same neck tattoo that says "Queef."
[suspenseful music]
- [slowed]: White privilege.
[dramatic tone]
Well, my brother and I really love queefs,
so we thought that we would commemorate--
- So, what about the $20 taco?
- Absolutely! So, first, we start with a li--
- Hold on, wait, no.
This is just a Jack in the Box taco
with a $10 bill coming out of it.
- Yeah, are you mad about that?
- No, I'm pumped! [chuckles] - [muffled]: It's delicious!
- Oh, great. What do you say
I treat you guys to an $8 bottle of water?
- I'll give you $12!
- Get the f*ck off my cart.
[trumpet music]
- The $20 taco is so good.
What surprised me the most was the lettuce,
which was all located on the other end
of the taco because I ate it upside-down.
- The $10 bill really helped with the experience;
it masked the flavor of the taco,
which for me, was a really big help.
- OLIVIA: Time for some more taco facts.
- [burps]
- Fact--there are five vowels in the word "taco."
- [burps again]
- Fact--if you say the word "taco" three times
into a mirror, an enchilada will appear.
- [burps AGAIN] (How rude)
Okay, we're here. - Okay.
- KEITH: So, here we are at our final stop.
This is the $1,000,000 taco.
Seems a bit steep, I know,
but I'll try anything once.
- OLIVIA: It's him!
Queef tattoo and everything.
- I don't know if we've quite pinned down
if this is three different guys or not.
- I'm obviously a different guy; different mustache.
Don't be an idiot.
Anyway, let me show you how to make
a $1,000,000 taco! Come on!
[guitar music]
Okay, the first secret to a $1,000,000 taco
is the $1,000,000 flour.
- Okay, so what makes it $1,000,000 flour?
- How would you read the frickin' bag?
All right? Next up is the beef,
which is actually-- - Lemme guess, lemme guess!
Space beef.
- Yeah, yeah, you got it. It's space beef
made from alien cows from the Andromeda galaxy.
- BOTH: Hell yeah. - Who are slaughtered humanely
in front of their families.
- BOTH: Hell yeah. - And also ground up
in front of their families.
- BOTH: Hell yeah. - And ta-da! $1,000,000 taco.
- BOTH: Hell yeah. - Hell yeah.
- Here goes nothing. $1,000,000 taco.
[crunching]
- I can tell by your face you're taking a bite
of that taco.
[suspenseful music]
[dramatic tone]
[suspenseful music]
[dramatic tone]
[suspenseful music]
- Yeah. - [chuckles]
Well, there you have it, folks!
Next week we'll compare a million dollars to a dollar,
and remember--
- DEMONIC VOICE: Obey FuzzBeed!
[static tone]
- Queef!
Hey guys, thank you so much for watching. If you're not yet subscribed, make sure you hit that subscribe button. So, I'm just gonna keep going. So, click the box on the left if you want to see "This Week in Smosh," which features behind-the-scenes footage from this video, but also other stuff that went on this week; it's really funny. Also, click the box on the right to check out "Instagram Comedians." Oh my God, it's one of my favorite videos in the past year, and I loved it so much, and you should watch it. Okay, bye. (This caption was a joke)
Captions by: Alex Porter