We're getting to the end thank you Jesus take one,
of course my battery
is about to die lovely.
Take two! So I'm actually one of the rare millennials I think that hasn't experience
online dating but I find it so fascinating and so you know I feel
like I kinda missed out in the awesomeness and the ridiculousness
and the absurdity that is online dating.
One of my friends who we called Wamblam,
I was like yo Wamblam can
I look at them oh she was like sure I don't care,
at this point
she wasn't really taking it that seriously and for me I was just
like you just carelessly are gonna hand me your phone and let me
choose a potential life partner for you?
You are gonna let me,
you are gonna endow me with the potential
to find the love of your life?
You are just gonna throw the cards where they lay?
Okay, and I took this as a challenge.
But I'm actively looking for Wamblam's soulmate.
Actively searching
for the future Mr Wamblam I gave every candidate at least,
at least
YouTube, at least ten minutes of my time before I even really started
into the app I asked her okay Wamblam what do you think you are
looking for? And so Wemblem came to me with a few specifics She
was like Wamblam is of the African diaspora and so she was like
I'm open to whoever,
but if they are not of the African diaspora
then they need to have some olive undertones.
And then she said they need to be a little swarthy.
And I was thinking about Mr.
Hallease, he's got a a tad of swarth to him,
I get that.
And they basically have to have that white ethnic minority look,
like you're from the south of France.
I feel like I know Wamblam relatively well.
And I'm far enough removed from her emotionally that I can say this
dude could be a good
compatibility I was holding Wamblam's phone up to her looking at
the dude looking at her and being like I could see this and then
I'm looking at the dude's profile okay you got like 50 characters
to describe yourself to me, what you got? And then I'm looking at
his profile picture I'm dissecting it and I'm saying okay was this
a good day for him for his profile picture though? How much of the
profile pictures actually truly accurate to the essence of who
this man is, and finally after that I would say okay I like this
guy and then I would swipe whichever is the I like you way I think
it's to the right.
The hurt that I would feel Wamblam and him weren't a match because
he didn't swipe right as well the hurt I would feel though,
but
when they were though,
who when they were oh my gosh Wamblam you
and this dude are a match,
oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh,
and then the thing would be like send a message oh my gosh we have
to, we have to cuz this could be the dude,
this could be
your man I could have just found the love of your life,
I remember
one dude he was of the African diaspora and I was really feeling
this dude, double majored,
okay he double majored in like German
and some crazy awesome computer science thing and I was like he
could be Wamblam's potential write or die and he was cute but like
not too cute he was just the right kind of cute and I was like
okay I got this I can send this dude a message oh yeah and by the
way I've showed him to Wamblam and she was like oh yeah I'm feeling him, he's cute.
I went on my phone I pulled out my phone now I've got Wamblam's
phone now I pulled out my phone and I was like okay how do you
say I think you are cute in German, posted out with the beauty of
the inter webs and universal knowledge and Google translate I learnt
that okay I did my research I was like and I made sure I proof
read myself I was like is that too flirty I don't wanna come hardcore
and I want to reply back I want us to be a thing and I did
did that, send and I was like it's in God's hands now,
I did that,
I did that for at least ten dudes while we were sitting there drinking,
cuz I was like we are trying to find the next Mr. Wamblam,
we are
trying to get this stuff done,
we got to send them
out.
Think a couple like a week later I checked in with Wamblam I was
like alright so, has anyone answered yet I need answers like,
what's going on and the way she was just nonchalant like
one of them messaged me back and we talked for like a minute but
[SOUND[ That's all you have to say?
[SOUND]
really there is nothing else happened you all didn't
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you all didn't like have a combo something,
it hurt me I was crushed
a little bit like just a little bit
because it's just like how can you not,
you are matched though,
I don't know how I feel about the online dating thing,
I don't
know how I feel about it because here is the thing fam if I had
seen Mr Hollis back when we were dating when he didn't dress well
before he had a beard when he really needed that haircut I would
have left whichever swipe is the you ain't shit swipe I would've
done that because on paper he didn't look good and I wonder how
much this instant gratification of this online dating stuffs and
how we are just so easily like just based on a photo and like marks
a hundred characters about somebody,
it's like what I felt I was
giving everyone Wamblam was looking at I gave everyone at least
ten minutes, at least ten minutes and she was like bra,
the majority
of us on these things
and even, we're just
[SOUND]
nope,
[SOUND]
nope,
[SOUND]
nope,
[SOUND]
nope, just like,
[LAUGH]
what?
That fast?
How can you know that fast?
I mean, how many potential soulmates have you swiped,
I don't really
believe, someone has to earn the right to be your soulmate I don't
believe that this is just like an initial thing but how many potential
life altering relationships have you swiped left?
And you didn't even know about it,
you didn't even know, you didn't
give them the time, I don't know.
Anyway in the comments below,
I don't know what to ask, something
in the comments below let me know how you approach this online
dating thing.
Are you giving people ten minutes of your time with your left and
right swipes or are you just like [SOUND] you're basic and I will see you
tomorrow
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