Are you dealing with a narcissist and you want to know,
when are they actually done with you? How do you know? You'll know by the end of this video?
Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung. I have been recognized as one of the top 1% of attorneys in the country,
and I've also happened to written two best-selling books, Negotiate Like You M.A.T.T.E.R,
and Breaking Free, A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide,
and I've helped thousands, maybe even millions of people at this point,
go from lives of drama, trauma, and chaos, and get them away from narcissists, including my own
self. And I do the same thing for you right here on this channel and in these videos.
So if you haven't already, make sure you subscribe and you hit that notification bell,
and that way you'll get notified when I upload new videos and new content.
So, you've had a narcissist in your life. You've been through the three stages; the love bombing,
the devaluate, the discarding, and now you want to know, are they actually done? Am I actually free?
How do I know that they're going to come back? Or how can I actually get done with them?
I've had to deal with this same thing. I know that the crazy making that they do and your head
and the spiraling that it causes you, and by the way, if that's where you are right now, and you
need some, self-care, make sure to check out my video on self-care to cope with narcissist because
you do need to take care of yourself, and you do need to learn how to pivot your brain.
You do need to learn how to get out of that thought process, what they do
to you. That trauma bonding, because they really do know how to mess with the neuronal patterns in
your brain and creating new neuronal patterns can be hard to do, but it is certainly not impossible.
Many, many, many people have escaped the clutches of narcissists, and if anybody else can do it,
you can certainly do it too. You are certainly not alone and there are many,
many people who have had to deal with narcissists. The statistics are actually pretty crazy.
I mean, there are something like 6% of the population is either a narcissist or displays
narcissistic traits, and another 3.3% of the population is actually lacks a conscience or has
some other pathological disorder, which them to not have any care or compassion for others. Which
means we're talking about close to one in 10 of people, that we're dealing with on the planet. And
if each one of those people narcissistically abuses five people in their lifetimes,
we're talking about most all of us on the planet, have had to deal with a toxic personality and try
to figure out how to get out of this situation. It's a huge percentage of us and by the way,
not only are you not alone, the other message that I really want you to get
is that narcissists don't attach themselves to you because you have no value. Yes, they devalue you.
Yes, they eventually try to make you feel like you're so lucky to be in their presence and
there's something wrong with you and all of the things that they try to get
you to feel. But the bottom line is, they only attach themselves to forms of supply
that have value. So they attach themselves to you because you have so much value. That's the really
ironic thing. They love bomb you and then they start devaluing you and the devalue stage by the
way, is where they're kind of taking back their investment. That love bombing was really just an
investment in their mind, in order to start taking out the deposits, start actually cashing them in.
And if you want to know more about the three stages of a narcissistic relationship,
the love bomb, devalue, discard, I have a series on that and we'll make sure to drop links to
those videos below. You should definitely go check them out, if you're not really familiar with the
different stages of a narcissistic relationship. But how do you know when they're done with you?
There's only going to be two reasons that they're ever going to be done with you.
The first one is that they are no longer getting any form of supply from you whatsoever. Because as
long as they are getting narcissistic supply from you, meaning you're feeding their ego in some way,
and most of the time, the way you continue to feed their ego is they think that they can come back
and intimidate you in some way, or make you crazy, or make you pay attention to them,
or make you scared. All of those reasons are reasons that are great reasons for
them to continue to be in your space. Narcissists collect their people for
forms of supply and they keep them like in their supply closet for when they may need to pull it
out to get more supply. I mean, it's almost like when you're at the bottom of the peanut butter jar
and there's still like a little bit left in there and they're scraping the bottom. If there's even
that left to get out of you, to scrape out of you, to squeeze out of you some little form of supply,
they're coming back. They're coming back to get it. They still smell it like shark smell blood in
the water. If you think that they are just sharks, like predators, give me a sharks in the comment.
So as long as they can come back to you, they still smell that blood in the water, like those
sharks, they'll come back to you and try to get that supply out of you. So that's number one.
So the only way that you can get them to stop by the way, is either creating very steel boundaries,
super strong boundaries, or going completely no contact. I understand that some of you can't go
completely no contact. Maybe you have children together. Maybe it's a family member. Maybe it's
somebody you can't get rid of, but you can put down boundaries that allows you to continue to
have peace of mind and protects yourself from that negative energy seeping into your space
and also protect yourself from being triggered, because they know how to push your buttons.
Narcissists are actually very masterful at reading people. They really do know what it is that will
upset you, what it is that will trigger you and get you to be emotional. So by not giving them the
supply of letting them see you be emotional, then again, you're cutting off that source of supply.
The less supply that you can give them, the more peace that you will have in your life because
they'll stop coming back, slithering back to find their little source of supply
if there's no supply to be had from you. So the next reason that
they will be done with you is if they found a source of supply that is completely
replacing you as a source of supply, or maybe it's a better form of supply. I know in my situation,
one of the narcissist that I had to deal with was in a business setting and that particular person
found somebody else that they thought would be a better source of supply for them. And I was like,
yes, please. Please go find that news sources and fly. Goodbye. They thought that they were like
making it, like I was going to so upset or whatever and that's the beautiful thing. That's
when you know you've really beaten the narcissist by the way. If you want to know more about when
you've beaten the narcissist, please check out my video on when you've beaten the narcissist.
So if they find a source of supply that's going to be better for them, or they think somehow it makes
them look better where they can get more value out of that, then off they will go and good riddance.
You know, no give backs, right? I mean, don't be jealous. Don't be upset. Just be like, thank God
I got that person out of my life because there are plenty of people on this planet, the other
nine out of 10, that are way better for you and actually can lift you up and make you feel, after
you're done being with them, you feel empowered. You feel inspired. You feel good. You feel happy.
I mean, if you're with somebody and that person is giving you anxiety all the time,
that is not a good person to have in your space and life is really too short. It just is. You
do not need to live with negativity in your space and that's what I teach you how to do is,
get out of these relationships, actually negotiate your way out of this relationship,
so that you can actually end up with an equitable result and move on with your life.
So if you are getting ready to negotiate with the narcissist,
make sure you grab my free Crush My Negotiation Prep Worksheet.
You can just get it at winmynegotiation.com. It's an e-book. It's got tons of valuable information
and it's totally free. So just go to winmynegotiation.com to get that.
If you liked this video, give it a like, share it so that others can benefit from the content,
and make sure to drop me a comment, give me that sharks, or whatever's going on with
you. Drop me a comment and make sure that you have subscribed and hit that notification bell.
If you are feeling isolated, feeling alone, you want to connect with others who have been dealing
with narcissists, or just get other value from people who've maybe learned something from it,
join me in my free private Facebook group. It's called Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung
and we will drop a link to that below as well. So thanks so much for stopping by today. I'm
so glad that you're here. Remember today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I'm Rebecca Zung and I'll see you in the next video.