life's a bag of dicks i spend half the
time looking for someone to share it
with and the other half trying to escape
them
eve this is the new intern melody melody
eve
hey eve oh god look at that
did you dress yourself very nice pumpkin
she looks like she's been kidnapped by a
murderer and dressed in his mother's
clothes
no offense how's your pawn talk
porn talk sex tape 101 there's nothing
worse than seeing a woman with the dead
eyes of a shark mumbling her way through
it like it's homework naming no names
paris hilton so plenty of oh
yeah that's it
that's it that kind of thing plenty of
uh squeaks and squeals
always good a little bit of a tremble
just have fun with it
and be creative oh eve uh i don't
actually drink tequila do you mind
getting me something else
yeah no uh yeah what uh jagerbomb
jaegerbomb it is let's get that since
when do you not like tequila
i'm negging him all part of the strat
this is fun
[Laughter]
adorable restaurant right
once you've done that i want you to go
through these for me what was this
it's tinder you're not familiar with it
no i know what tinder is great
go through say yes to all the attractive
ones but remember you're matching with
me not use the standards
high be picky nines and tens working
professionals no beers no glasses no
tiger selfies
if any of them message you then you can
discuss dinner once they suggest to a
restaurant google it look at the menu
if you can buy a bottle of wine for less
than 30 quid then tell them it's a no
keep tuesday evenings for use that's
when i do kundalini
jennifer aniston had a nose job to fix
her sinus issues there was a girl at my
school with similar sinus issues
she's got lovely little button sinuses
now robin i think this one's broken
where do we get a new one oh my goodness
i still need that list melody okay oh my
goodness
yes cool no problem
that is cool
bless if my coffee comes back hold again
i'm just gonna throw it in her face
right we're in here how you doing
[Music]
ouch ouch tom kiss
anyone knows oh no it's just a guy from
and i it's not
he was offering to be my sponsor but he
was god i love damaged man is he cute
i really thought about it yeah or
whatever well enjoy sponsoring his
brains out
maybe i should set up the two of you
last time i went on a blind date and
ended up climbing out of a window at
sexy fish seriously his heart
oh his heart knows he thought you hadn't
thought about it shut up do you want to
him with my vagina is that a dick
look if you need to have sex with him so
that you don't have to just have to ask
nice to see you
oh my god you guys are so cute
you ever call me cute again i will punch
you so hard in the vagina i'll turn you
into a glove puppet
i t boy cannot keep away can he he's
probably set up a webcam in the toilet
so he can watch you while you wee
they're probably watching us right now
cracking one out on their laptops in the
station recovered here you go
boys
if you want me to like you it helps if
you laugh at my jokes
[Music]
women aren't funny your wife must have a
sense of humor
she's seen you naked oh
drop my cucumber do i call you or do i
just commit a crime
probably committing a crime would get me
to you quicker this is me and my most
inviting
thank you and good night