True story: because of the pandemic,
more people are staying home.
That makes sense, right?
And guess what they're doing?
They're staying home, and according to studies,
they're eating cereal for breakfast.
This is all true.
A lot of people eating cereal.
And as a result, there's a nationwide
shortage of Grape-Nuts cereal.
It's kind of surprising.
Wait, whoa, whoa, what did you just say?
I said it's kind of surprising that all of these people...
No, not that part, God damn it.
What did you say about Grape-Nuts?
Oh, well it's a true story,
it actually made the New York Times.
Check it out, the company that makes Grape-Nuts
said there's a product shortage because
they've actually had a problem...
Oh, well, yeah, of course there is.
I mean, I should have seen this coming.
Oh, you really screwed the pooch this time, Andy.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
It's fine, Andy.
It's just cereal.
Just a cereal?
I defy you to find anything as loud
and as painful to eat with less flavor than Grape-Nuts.
There's no other breakfast food in the world
that makes me wonder if I'm swallowing my own teeth,
and go on, name me another cereal
that you can use to start a terrarium.
All right, sure, Andy, you're right.
Grape-Nuts does all those things, but...
What are you doing now, Andy?
I'm trying to score a few boxes on the dark web.
Damn it, ah, it's too late.
There's nothing left but heroin.
Add to cart.
Oh, oh, come on, Andy, you're overreacting
to this whole thing.
Look, it's not just me.
It's the 50,000 users who follow
my daily Instagram feed, GrapeNutSunsets.
See? That's in Fiji.
And that is Kilimanjaro in the background.
Wow, that's beautiful, Andy,
but don't you think it's time to move on?
Ah, that's easy for you to say.
You've never loved anything the way I've loved Grape-Nuts.
I have two children.
Well, I hope you hug them tonight,
because I just learned your life can change in an instant.
One minute you're sitting pretty
with a belly full of undigestible Grape-Nuts,
and then bam, darkness.
Oh, I hate you, God.
Hey, Andy, good news.
According to this article, the Grape-Nuts
shortage is only 'til March.
You'll have your Grape-Nuts back next month.
Yeah, thanks a lot, Conan,
but I'm not waiting around to get my heart broken again.
I'm making my own Grape-Nuts cereal
out of peanut shells and coffee grounds.
[Conan] Okay, well...
Oh my God, that hurts.
Hurts bad.
Oh, Andy.
And this magazine's fake.
We made it for this skit.
Hey, we got a great show.
Colin Quinn's gonna be joining us.
We'll take a break, we'll be right back.
Richter, you're cuckoo.
You get used to it.