On Kessler's tablet: My mom should have left me to die.
I wish she did.
[sigh]
[door opens]
Clara
Well you are 20 minutes late.
There was traffic.
[door slam]
Ok.
Well, how was your week?
Fantastic, how was yours?
Do you want to take a breath,
and try that again?
Hell is over people, if I leave you with anything it's that.
Alright, give me a little bit more than that, please.
Okay...
Let's see.
Let's go through the people in my life.
There's you,
Frank, my looming angel of death,
my one single friend who I basically never see, because he lives, like, an hour away
and my dad,
who continuously disappoints me, despite me continuously lowering my expectations.
Has something happened between you two?
Nope.
Nothing beyond his usual ten minute rant after another one of his pointless trips.
This one involved a cross country flight, because hey...
if you're gonna waste money on something you might as well go big or go home, right?
Visiting some
PHD student, with some
theory about squirrel blood staving off my disease.
Sounds super legit right?
You sound angry with him.
No.
How would you like him to be responding to this decision of yours?
Call me selfish but
maybe I'd like to enjoy my last time on earth.
Maybe he'd like to see some memories of me that are happy.
Have you spoken with him about your mother's death?
Why?
Why, well...
we were just speaking about his sadness,
it seemed appropriate.
Why are you asking about my mom's death, unless you are trying to come up with crackpot theories about why I want to kill myself.
Clara.
Stop dancing around this issue.
Admit it.
You don't support my decision and you don't even want to help me understand.
Wow.
That's a rather malevolent view of me.
Yeah, well I'm used to everyone in my life disappointing me.
Like the sun rising in the east.
Clara
I think-
How about I get to ask you a question?
Are you gonna to sign my form, or are you just running out the clock?
[sigh]
Hm?
I know it's hard
but I think we can find ways to manage this.
Find new coping strategies to deal with your depression-
I'm not depressed.
I still believe that a treatment is very close,
and you just need to-
Stop!!
You sound just like him.
Stop making this about you!
Well that wasn't my intention.
I thought out of everyone in my life, you are the one who would be honest with me.
You're not even trying to help me figure this out.
You're not.
Clara I'm...
Are you gonna to sign my form
or do you want me to just leave and go out that door and find someone else who will?
Ok, I told you when we entered treatment that those kinds of ultimatums are inappropriate.
I know what's appropriate.
Okay, well then you should also know that these sorts of self-destructive thoughts are not healthy,
are we should be finding ways to work through it, not giving into it.
You're talking to like I'm suicidal again.
Oh
Well, you are sitting across from me, asking me to endorse your suicide, I think that's appropriate-
I'm not asking you to endorse anything, I'm asking you to sign a form
that says I am mentally competent enough to make this decision myself-
that nobody in my life is coercing me, which you and I both know is true.
You and I both know that there's no medical reason why you can't sign that form.
So are you ready to let me go?
This is not about me. This-
Michelle.
Can we talk like actual human beings.
ugh.
Okay good.
How do you feel about me dying?
[Sigh]
I think you're scared.
Which I understand. If I was in your situation I would be.. I would be terrified.
No, but that's not what I asked.
How do you feel about me dying.
I feel terrible.
I think about you everyday.
And I am racking my brain to try to figure out a way that I can get through to you.
To figure out a way that I can help you.
If you want to help me, why don't you just sign the damn form.
[sigh]
Because you're...
you're not ready. This is-
Yes, I am!
I'm ready.
You're not.
Everyday I wake up more certain this is what I want to do, this is what I need
so stop trying to take us down new paths, this is it the finish line.
Then why have you been pretending that I can help you with this?
Because....
I need you to understand.
I need you to get it.
You're, like, my best friend Michelle.
Except you have a responsibility to me.
Now are you going to sign that form and really let me go.
[big sigh]
No.
I can't do it.
I can't abandon you,
now, when I think that you need me the most.
Clara, please wait.
No!
I'm done.
That's it.
I'm gonna die Michelle.
Get over it.
[Door slams]
[pen smacks the floor]
[under her breath] F*ck.