-The Democrats have held eight debates already,
but I think there's still a lot of important questions
left unanswered, so we decided to hold another one.
That's right all seven qualifying candidates
are right here right now, and they're ready to go.
So, without further ado,
here's the "Late Night" Democratic Presidential debate.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Welcome to the "Late Night" 2020 Democratic presidential debate.
I'm your moderator, Seth Meyers. Let's get started.
Vice President Biden, how would you describe
the status of your campaign at this point?
-Without friends, without support, without allies.
[ Laughter ]
-Senator Sanders, I hear you don't like the term "boomers."
What do you call them?
-Young people. [ Laughter ]
-Vice President, what's the one sentence
that strikes fear into everyone
when you're playing pick-up basketball in the capital?
-Ruth Bader Ginsburg is on the court.
[ Laughter ]
-Senator Klobuchar, where do all the staffers you fire end up?
-1,500 feet underground.
[ Laughter ]
-Vice President Biden, be honest.
When's the last time you smoked a doob?
-I took a hit in Iowa, and I'll probably take a hit here.
-My man.
Senator Klobuchar, what do you think about people
who applaud when the airplane lands.
-We should prosecute those people.
[ Laughter, cheers and applause ]
-Mayor Buttigieg, what would you say to Joe Biden
if you visited the Grand Canyon together?
-Go all the way to the edge.
[ Laughter ]
-Senator Klobuchar, you claim that one of
your biggest strengths is your sense of humor.
Give me a hilarious punchline to this joke.
Two businessmen walk into a bar.
-One guy, a business guy, says to the other,
"They're eating them like Doritos."
-I don't get it.
[ Laughter ]
Senator Warren, what's the best way to avoid
getting mugged on the subway?
-Put your money where your mouth is.
-Vice President Biden, I heard that when Beto O'Rourke
dropped out, he gave you his skateboard.
How did that work out?
-I busted my neck!
[ Laughter ]
Senator Klobuchar, how many times
is Lionel Richie's lover a lady?
-Not once, not twice, but three times.
[ Laughter ]
Mayor Buttigieg, what do you call your fists?
-Murder and mayhem.
[ Laughter ]
-Senator Warren, what did you do on your 5th birthday?
-I started my grown-up life.
[ Laughter ]
Vice President Biden,
your body's looking pretty tight these days.
Is there any way we can get a peek at the rest of it?
-Go to joebiden.com. You'll see the whole deal.
[ Laughter, cheers and applause ]
-Dot com?
Wow.
Senator Sanders, your "Jeopardy!" category
is Heisman Trophy winners.
For $800, in 1973, this Buffalo Bill nicknamed "The Juice"
became the first player to rush for 2,000 yards in a season.
[ Beep, beep, beep ] -Who is a terrible murder.
[ Laughter ]
-Correct.
[ Laughter, applause ]
Senator Klobuchar, complete this lyric from 2 Live Crew.
"Face down, ass up..."
-That is the best way to do it.
[ Laughter, cheers and applause ]
-Mayor Buttigieg, where is Mickey Mouse?
-On my watch.
-Looks like we have time for one more question.
Vice President Biden, you went to college in a time
before free contraceptive programs.
What happened back then when you hooked up?
-What happened? We pulled out.
-Well, it looks like we're out of time!
To all the candidates, have a good night!
We'll be right back with Ru Paul, everybody!