HEY, EVERYBODY!
MY NEXT GUEST IS KNOWN AS "THE POPE OF TRASH" AND THE
MAN BEHIND FILMS LIKE "PINK FLAMINGOS," "HAIRSPRAY" AND
"CRY-BABY."
PLEASE WELCOME, JOHN WATERS!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪
>> Stephen: THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANKS FOR HAVING ME.
>> Stephen: THAT JACKET IS A WAKE ME UP.
>> THANK YOU.
I TRY TO DRESS LIKE A JACKSON POLLACK PAINTING.
>> Stephen: IT'S WORKING.
THANKS.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE GOT A CHRISTMAS TOUR COMING UP CALLED
"A JOHN WATERS CHRISTMAS," A LIVE CHRISTMAS TOUR AROUND THE
COUNTRY.
>> 18 CITIES.
>> Stephen: OBVIOUSLY BEFORE CHRISTMAS WE HAVE THANKSGIVING.
WHAT'S "A JOHN WATE A JOHN WATER THANKSGIVING LIKE?
>> EVERY YEAR I GO TO MY SISTER'S AND I BRING A SWAG BAG
OF EVERYTHING FANS AND COMPANIES SEND ME I DON'T WANT AND ALL MY
NIECES AND NEPHEWS GO THROUGH IT AND TRY IT ON BUT I FORGET SOME
OF THE THINGS THAT COMPANIES SEND ME IS A LITTLE QUESTIONABLE
AND I'LL SEE A LITTLE 5-YEAR-OLD WITH A BOSSY T-SHIRT.
>> Stephen: SO THE HIPPEST KID AT PRE-SCHOOL.
>> OR THE AUTHORITIES RAID THE THANKSGIVING, RIGHT.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: YOU HAVE BEEN
KNOWN FOR DOING PRETTY OUTRAGEOUS FILMS AND SHOWS.
WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO SHOCK JOHN WATERS THESE DAYS?
>> WELL, THE ELECTION SHOCKED ME, CERTAINLY.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: YEAH.
YEAH, I DID FEEL LIKE SOMEBODY STUCK ME WITH A CATTLE PROD.
BUT HERE'S HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT.
I LIVED THROUGH NIXON AND REAGAN WHO SAID THERE WASN'T ANYTHING
ABOUT AIDS.
TRUMP AT LEAST HAS MET A GAY PERSON BUT PENCE IS THE ONE I'M
WORRIED ABOUT.
>> Stephen: NO IMPEACHING?
OH, I THINK HE MIGHT NOT LAST FOUR YEARS BUT I'LL GET THROUGH
IT.
PEOPLE SAY, I'M LEAVING THE COUNTRY.
NO ONE CARES.
GO AHEAD.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT TO ME, YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE
THING ABOUT PENCE IS HIS POLICIES ARE SO TERRIBLE.
I MEAN, WITH GAY PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, HE WANTED TO NOT HAVE
AIDES FUNDING AND GIVE IT TO CONVERSION THERAPY.
WELL, EVEN PENCE WOULDN'T WANT ME TO BE STRAIGHT, REALLY.
I MEAN, WHAT WOULD I DO?
BE DOING THE ELECTRIC SLIDE AND AGOLING TIFFANY TRUMP?
IT'S HARD TO IMAGINE.
SO I THINK HE DESERVED WHAT HE GOT AT "HAMILTON," TO BE HONEST.
ARTISTS ARE THERE.
FIRST OF ALL, "HAMILTON" IS THE ONLY MUSICAL HETEROSEXUALMEN
EVER LOVED, AND I REALLY LOOKED IT, TOO, BUT HE BETTER BE
CAREFUL IF HE GOES BACK TO BROADWAY.
I HOPE HE DOESN'T GO TO THE REVIVAL OF BETTE MIDLER AND
HELLO DOLLY BECAUSE THOSE CHO RUSS GIRLS WILL COME OUT AND
GIVE HIM A NEW KIND OF (BLEEP).
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: NOT SURE HOW MUCH
OF THIS INTERVIEW WILL MAKE IT TO CBS, BUT THANK YOU FOR BEING
HERE.
( LAUGHTER ) "A JOHN WATERS CHRISTMAS."
WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT THE HOLIDAY?
>> I LOVE IT'S SO EXTREME.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
IT'S COMING AT YOU.
CAN'T CHANGE IT.
THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
SO EVERY YEAR AT CHRISTMAS I TRY TO THINK OF THINGS I WANT FOR
CHRISTMAS.
>> Stephen: TOYS AND STUFF LIKE THAT?
>> WELL, TOYS ARE -- I COLLECT EVERY YEAR AND THE LIST JUST
CAME OUT, I'M SO EXCITED, THERE IS AN ORGANIZATION CALLED
"WATCH" WHICH IS WORLD AGAINST TOYS THAT CAUSE HARM, AND EVERY
YEAR THEY RELEASE A LIST OF THE TEN MOST DANGEROUS TOYS.
AND I COLLECT THEM.
>> Stephen: IS THIS ONE OF THEM?
>> YEAH, THIS IS THE FIRST ONE EVER.
GOBBLES, THE GARBAGE-EATING GOAT.
AND I HAVE IT ( LAUGHTER )
THE PROBLEM WITH IT IS THE LITTLE GARBAGE IT ATE CHILDREN
CHOKED ON.
BUT I GAVE IT TO MY NEPHEWS.
I WARNED THEM, DON'T EAT IT.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT THIS YEAR, THEY'VE GOT SOME
GOOD NEW ONES.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS THIS, BUTCH?
>> THE BUTCH CHARGING DINOSAUR.
I THOUGHT IT WAS A PRESENT FOR BABY LESBIANS, YOU KNOW, BUT
IT'S NOT BECAUSE THE PROBLEM ON THIS IS IT HAS SOME STARTING
DEVICE THAT PUNCTURES YOUR NECK IF YOU GET IT TO CLOSE.
WELL, THAT'S GOING TO BE A PROBLEM AT CHRISTMAS.
>> Stephen: YOU WILL GET BLOOD ALL OVER THE TREE.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR?
>> I WANT BACKING FOR A BUSINESS.
I WANT TO START A NEW SEX CLUB.
WE DON'T HAVE THEM ANYMORE.
>> Stephen: I WOULDN'T KNOW.
YOU NEVER WENT TO HELLFIRE?
>> Stephen: NO, I COULDN'T AFFORD THE INITIATION.
( LAUGHTER ) >> BUT I WANT TO HAVE A NEW KIND
AND THE PUBLICITY EVENT, FIRST OF ALL, WOULD BE ALL THE GAY
WOMEN FROM PROVINCETOWN WOULD GO TO FIRE ISLAND AND RAID THE MEAT
RACK THERE, AND ALL THE NUDE MEN WOULD COME TO PROVE INSTOWN ON
THE WEEKEND AND THEY WOULD HAVE SEX LESBIANS AND GAY MEN
TOGETHER AND IT WOULD BE A NEW STRAIN OF HETEROSEXUALITY.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: AND THIS IS WHAT
YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS?
>> I DO.
IF THERE IS ANY BACKERS OUT THERE, MY CLUB WOULD BE CALLED
FLIP-FLOP.
>> Stephen: WELL, GOOD LUCK.
IT'S VERY 2018.
>> Stephen: IT CERTAINLY IS.
YOU CAN CATCH "A JOHN WATERS CHRISTMAS" COMEDY TOUR ACROSS
THE EAST COAST FROM NOW THROUGH DECEMBER 22.
JOHN WATERS, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!