my patrons ask and I answer an armoured tier list based on you know my opinions which as
the writer in my fantasy heroine short series would say is apparently what the people want this
video is sponsored by NordVPN which I also have opinions about and I will be sharing those later
while outside in a forest in a costume because of course. our armour tiers are: I'd wear it it looks
good and comfortable and if I had to wear it in a theatre production or a film I would not object to
doing that. pretty good it's mostly fine but it's just not quite there for me for whatever reason.
not actually armour this is the tier which is basically n/a not applicable this isn't armour per
se it's not actually meant to be protective but I have been asked to review it and so this is the
tier I'm gonna put it in. I'll give you my opinion on it just not on its combat effectiveness because
that's not what it's for. moving on down we have could be worse looks good but wouldn't function
or would function okay but just kind of looks bad and everyone's favourite: just stab me now it's
meant to be armour it's meant to be protective but it would either be an active hindrance
or completely useless or it's just so ugly that I can't look past it first up we have Pike Trickfoot
from legend of Vox Machina and you will be vastly unsurprised to know that I've never watched that
I believe that this is her official concept art but I have no idea what these things are made of
I assume the light grey is metal is the dark grey metal this suggests yes? I mean as is often the
case in fiction helmets are apparently for losers but it does have decent coverage otherwise and
aesthetically it looks you know nice it does look like something you could wear for most of the day
and not collapse from exhaustion so two thumbs up for that and overall a pretty good. this is
Iorek Byrnison from the his dark materials golden compass movie I think I never actually watched the
golden compass shock but I did read the trilogy of books at least once there were other series
in my teenage years which I reread multiple times but this one just didn't grab me the same way but
I did vaguely remember that bear armour is made of something specific so i looked it up and it's
made of sky-iron which is to say from metal from meteorites which I guess is why they gave it this
kind of rainbow effect either that or he gets even more special armour because he's king of
the bears i am not sure the armoured bears in the books are supposed to be amazing metalsmiths
so I must assume that all of this pitting is intentional either that or it's just been really
beaten up but it does look like Iorek is wearing the golden rainbow bones of some enormous monster
and I'm kind of here for that shape-wise it covers most of the head I love that it's shaped to cover
the front back and sides but leaves absolute freedom of movement for the legs and because
bears are covered in fur and really tough skin I'm guessing they don't need much in the way of under
layers anyway I mean I am not a giant sapient bear but if I were I think I'd wear it onto the first
of the Dragon Age Inquisition characters we're covering today Cassandra Pendegast oh Cassandra
somebody tried all right this is gonna take a minute let's break this down one you always get
points for full body coverage there's no helmet as far as I can tell from the Bioware website but
again we sort of are used to this are we not? but it's the other details that just make this weird
two details in particular and if they do have a lore explanation please do let me know all right
we've got spaulders which is what we're calling shoulder armour which doesn't cover the armpit
or upper chest that would be a pauldron we've got maille which is a little oddly shaped so the
sleeves of the maille seem to just be in a sort of leaf shape over the top of her upper arm which is
weird because that area is already mostly covered by the spauulders but the maille doesn't continue
around the back of her arm to give her any kind of armpit protection and that's a little odd
pretty sure there's a fairly big blood carrying thing here now I'm assuming that she has a full
maille shirt under here and this sort of tabard thing on the top is just for decoration and
that's fine but what's with the studs? because i'm not sure they'd do anything and if they're
there for decoration they're not really working for me because the placement of them is a little
haphazard I'm not sure if the skirty bit of the tabard is sort of quilted or if it's meant
to be more like brigandine but either way those little studs actually seem to be doing something
so that's fine and overall on the top part it's okay I mean some effort has clearly been made
there are some bits that could be improved but overall you know it could be worse but then we
get to the boots and I'm so sorry cassandra I really am what is with that big hunk of metal
right where your foot bends? and the poleyn? that's the knee armour why is it half covered
by your boot is that not just gonna make it more difficult to bend your knee? The poleyn is also
kind of pointy at the top which might get caught on things but you know I understand aesthetics so
sure whatever but I'm not sure you can bend your knee properly and you definitely can't flex your
foot properly like you thought I was just mad about high heels no no I can get annoyed at
impractical footwear of all varieties if you have some kind of historical justification for it like
this is the footwear that everyone wears in everyday life and sometimes they get jumped
by bandits then okay I guess but no this this is not it just stab me now I'm sorry Cassandra you
just can't move about with those things on your feet you just it's not going to happen it's no
good you looking protected if you can't actually get where you need to go and do what you need to
do speaking of protection while doing what you want to do because my segues are impeccable let
no one tell you otherwise this video is sponsored by nordvpn and so to entice you into watching
the sponsor read I'm going outside in armour also there will be d&d jokes it seemed like a bit of a
no-brainer to talk about a vpn in an armour video because it protects you just while you're online
but to be honest I'm working on my similes because I think maybe it's actually more like a hologram
don't worry I'm going to return to this thought in a minute. Nord roots all of your internet activity
through an encrypted private network which means that you can trip merrily through the wilds of
the internet without having to worry about your IP address being exposed which is a distinct
advantage when the internet is full of weirdos who might want to steal your credit card information
or find out where you live maybe it's like the d&d simulacrum spell Because all your internet
traffic is encrypted it also means that your internet service provider won't know what site
that you're on and won't artificially throttle you if you're on streaming sites that they don't like
for example or maybe it's more like Project Image? and you can watch your favourite shows
even you're traveling on an adventure in different countries simply by setting the country to the one
that you're usually in or possibly the Mislead spell coupled with Mage Hand it's also and I say
this as someone who has a lot of items on my to-do list reassuringly easy to use I set it up one time
and now it just auto-connects every time I turn on the computer and it's so quick that i mostly
don't even notice that it's on anymore you know if I were a wizard wearing this get up by definition
it would be not actually armour you can try Nord risk free with a 30 day money back guarantee and
you can go to nordvpn.com to learn more about this exclusive offer and if you have a better simile or
dnd spell for what a vpn does do leave it in the comments it has started to rain ah onward
my next patreon request was whatever comes up when you google mouse guard armour so here are
some of those things this one not actually armour i mean it's really stinking cute but it's just
that they have weapons they are armed they're not armoured not actually armour but oh look at them
this is a two for one and on the left I would say pretty good now you think I'd give something which
has this much coverage the highest rating but they are mice and I'm concerned about
how thin you can make metal as with the one on the right I would say could be worse I mean it
does have these unfortunate gaps in it I would feel a lot better if they overlap but it does
seem to be made up from scraps and so you feel more forgiving of something which seems to be
haphazardly put together all right stormtrooper armour there are two problems that I can see
with stormtrooper armour one that it seems to have wildly varying capabilities and two space
weapons seem to outdo space armour by quite a lot canonically and by canonically I mean on the
internet and also in some of the visual guides the idea is that stormtroopers don't actually
die generally speaking from blaster bolts they fall over because of the concussive shock wave
or something but they can just get up again because the under layer of the armour means that
it dissipates the deadliness I guess i believe you can see this explicitly in star wars rebels
but who's to say it's not happening elsewhere too now I ended up falling down the most reddit
related of rabbit holes to try and figure out what the official female stormtrooper armour looked
like and the answer seems to be it depends some of them have no cod piece one of them has no codpiece
and is real shiny because major character some of them are basically identical but all of them look
terrifying and while Luke canonically cannot see a thing in this helmet that's probably because he
hasn't bothered to turn on the heads-up display because he doesn't know how I mean if I were some
kind of space fascist trying to make a point about conformity and military might and intimidatingness
and also I didn't want to immediately die if someone shot me with a blaster I think I'd
wear it as long as it fit me now just to forestall the comments which some people are already making
because this seems to confuse some people the clone troopers in the prequels are indeed all
clones and thus all male because they're all clones of this one guy. in the original trilogy
they're not clones and there are I think some female ones but you don't hear any speak in the
movies in the sequel trilogy they are not clones there are male and female stormtroopers you'd
see and hear both kinds and I think they were stolen as children to become soldiers
or something I'm not entirely clear on that our final set for the day is Cullen hopefully from
Dragon Age Inquisition but mostly people don't actually send links to the exact armour set they
want reviewed they just tell me the name of it which occasionally leads to confusion so hopefully
this is the right one Cullen has the distinct advantage that right off the bat he has a helmet I
know that shouldn't weigh so heavily but honestly unless you're in a theatre setting where you
really don't want a full face helmet because even if you bellowed you would be unlikely to be heard
I like a helmet even if it seems kind of impractical because you know what at least
they tried I don't really know what's going on underneath all of this fur to be honest but I'm
going to be charitable and assume that there is some more metal related protection on the back
of his head but let's be clear about what this is because I think that's important he's not in full
plate and that's okay he's got a helmet he's got a cuirass or cuirass you can pronounce it either way
I don't care other people might but I don't care he's got vambraces and spaulders on and this other
stuff looks to be leather I guess not necessarily very thick super protective leather but I guess
some of it could be leather by itself is not much protection against sharp weapons unless it is
hardened and quite thick but oh well and unlike a lot of female characters his entire body is
covered there are no weird skin gaps so that plus helmet is a pretty good right off the bat
honestly I'm assuming from his clothes that he is somewhere that's temperate to cool he has covered
the metal on his torso with fabric which will help with temperature regulation regardless but
he's also got a big fancy fur collar and a big fancy lion's mane on his helmet neither of which
would be fun if it were in any way warm still assuming that he's not fighting in the desert he's
probably fine the only thing that gives me pause aside from the fact that his sword seems to be
floating in midair but whatever is this sticky outfit on his upper arm because if it were up on
his shoulder I've definitely seen examples of that so I asked Zac and he said it's called a hot piece
and they're there to deflect blows away from the armpit neck and head here's a very fancy example
and here's a small early example but this thing does not do that because it's it's too far down
it needs to be further up on his shoulder overall two thumbs up for the helmet and
very practical design but aesthetically I'm just not feeling it and so that coupled with
the weird shoulder piece will go for pretty good it's a high pretty good I'd wear it if
I had to but i don't think I'd choose to if you enjoyed this armour review we have
many more so I will put a link to the playlist of all of the costume related videos
next to my face don't forget to go to nordvpn for an exclusive offer and I'll see you next time