Am I... Am I...
Am I hitting the camera just right, Mr Cameraman?
Exactly how we want it.
I will say, the tea thing is real.
I did not think the tea thing was f****** real. It is.
Fifteen-minute tea break,
which I'm thinking, "Cool, go do whatever."
People are literally making and brewing f****** tea,
and drinking tea at 3 o'clock in the afternoon.
-Constantly. We love a little brew. -It's bizarre.
Fancy a brew, love?
-No? -Um...
OK, do you have an American accent?
Can I hear your American, please?
What do you want me to say? I don't know.
"Oh, my God. We should go shopping tomorrow."
Oh, my God. We should go shopping tomorrow.
Was that all right? Was that awful?
That was good! That was good.
That was actually really good. I liked it.
You've been banned from every dungeon in New York City,
dragged all over social media.
I'm loving this purple mood lighting.
He kind of looks like Pandora Boxx.
Oh, God! Pandora Witches.
Never.
So, if your best friend was a dominatrix,
would you be their assistant?
Well, first of all, Baga Chipz would be the worst dominatrix ever.
Oh, how does that feel? Much better, you little b******!
If Bob was a dominatrix,
I could not be his assistant.
I would just be laughing the whole time.
I cannot picture Bob in that position.
First of all, Bob is not sexy.
Bob is someone's uncle.
Aw, did you hear that, Bob?
...fishes There's nary a care...
This is like the scene in Karate Kid.
"Wax on, wax off."
Oh, this is like some "Wingardium Leviosa" thing.
But yeah, that was the kind of high-society broad I would be.
I'm high-society Jersey trash.
This is what Michelle Visage wishes she looks like.
A shockingly prolific...
So, yeah, that's how me mum found out.
In my mind, you're in your bedroom.
You're telling your dad, "No, no",
but you're doing, like, a Wonder Woman turn,
and then you RuVeal into The Vivienne.
-Yes! -And he's like, "Oh!
The whole time, the whole time, the whole time!"
Excuse me, I'd like to speak to Marjé.
I am she.
This should be a challenge on Drag Race.
You watch all of Ru's scenes and critique his acting.
-She's got the longest arms. -I just think that...
Oh, do you want... Girl, velociraptor.
Just...
Drew's always like, "Drag will never be mainstream."
Yeah, yeah, mama, we're on Netflix, doing a review show!
Drag is mainstream, mama.
So, let's say we're... we're doing a duel, right?
You can choose anyone from Drag Race to be your second.
Who would you, let me think, who would... who would you choose?
Michelle Visage. Michelle Visage knows how to fire guns.
She carries a gun, doesn't she?
Yes, she has a gun. Michelle Visage will be f******...
She'll be murking b*****, OK?
Michelle Visage, she pulls out two. She's like...
F****** Matrix Visage.
Matrix Visage!
Michelle will be murking h***, girls! She'll be like...
That sounded like a full-on foreign language.
No, honestly.
It's even thick for people who aren't from, like, Newcastle.
I'm like, "OK, Google, please translate that."
"Alexa, what did Vivienne just say?"
The Alexa's broke.
We haven't got one.
We're in the seventies. Of course we don't have Alexa yet!
-Bob's polyamorous, isn't he? -Bob is polya.
I just watched his video, and I was just like...
Right?
I'm with you, though, I'm on the jealous thing,
but I also want to, you know, flower some other pots
later on in life.
Not at first,
but later on in life, I wanna, you know, spread the seeds
and fertilise and grow other things, you know.
Oh, no, it's not for me, girl.
What happens between a husband and a wife
is a natural continuation of what happens at night.
At night.
So she's never had a shag.
Let me tell you something. I think she's pretending.
This b**** be... about some trees,
but she's like, "Mummy... Mum, what's a penis?"
She's definitely s...
-I can't tell you. -I thought we were friends.
I am a terrible driver.
So, New York has so many f****** police cameras,
and I didn't realise that they were getting my every moves.
So I'll be, like, running red lights.
B****, I was hitting pedestrians. I was just living my life.
To be fair, you're not supposed to be doing that.
What's the best thing you've ever done to get even with someone?
Oh, this is about Bob. So Bob and I...
So I got this fierce outfit made, right?
I FaceTimed Bob right away, I was like,
"Girl, look at this thing. You should get one too."
He was like, "Send me the information, I'll get one."
I was like, "And then we can use it for, like, sibling rivalry."
Cut to a few months later. Bob shows up...
Bob says there's a photoshoot with the garment
before I never posted because we're gonna shoot it together.
Did a photoshoot in his outfit, the exact replica of mine.
So... I'm going to do the same thing to him
at a soon-to-be date,
and I'm going to ruin something very important for him
by making an exact replica of his outfit before he wears it.
This proper old-school queen said that, years ago,
they used to put pins, you know, in, like, a paint stick,
like, a foundation stick, they'd put pins in it.
And so, if a queen had pissed them off,
just push the pins in, so then they'd twist it up and go...
-Oh, God! -Ah!
-That is so shady. -Yeah.
I'm going to do it to Baga.
You do it to Baga, I'll do it to Bob.
Yes.
-Hastings, this is my sister. -Your sister?
Daphne, Hastings and I know each other from our days at Oxford.
Did they go to Oxford together?
I bet they've had a little gay affair.
-Watch. -Probably.
Miss Thing in the red coat, she looks like she, you know...
Mm-hmm, I know the kind.
She'll soon realise that thing is not enough.
She'll have a... up there now.
Look at that side table.
You're gonna gag when she pulls out a...
She's like, "Oh, oh, oh!"
When's the first time you realised
you could have a play with yourself?
Oh, b****, I was probably... 11.
And then the first time I had sex was 12.
-You were 12? -Yes!
I was four. It was me...
It wasn't.
It was me...
Why do you look at me when you ask
if anyone's been arrested?
-I've been arrested a few times. -I've been arrested once.
Because I threw water...
I threw a bucket of bleach water over someone.
-Yeah, well... -You could have blinded someone.
If only.
I was like, "Vivienne is, like, the queen of the UK.
She's so soft in the mirror."
She is breaking jaws, she is plucking out eyeballs...
I live!
He's gonna pull down his pants, she's going to run to the door...
Imagine he's got a corset on as well.
"Sorry, would you mind?"
His little man corset.
Once she sees his d*** flop out them pants,
she's gonna lose her mind.
She's gonna wrap her legs around him so tight
he will not be able to come out.
She'll be like a f****** octopus girl.
Gays are so obsessed with daddies,
but the minute someone's actual father buys you a leather mask,
all the daddy fantasies really fly out the window.
Queens who are good on the microphone
sometimes mistake themselves for comedians.
Like, for example, I can talk to an audience,
but I don't consider myself a comedian.
-You should do stand-up. -I've never done stand-up.
-No? -I wanna start doing it, though.
When, like, when the world is back to normal.
-Like, Bob is amazing at stand-up. -Yeah, but he's really bad.
So I wanna, like, do, like, actual stand-up.
Like, that people would like, you know? Not like...
And then, obviously, Bianca.
-Bianca's good, yeah. -He's amazing.
-I mean, he can sell out Wembley. -Girl, isn't that crazy?
Don't, but I always say, when I'm on stage, I'm just like,
"You know, Bianca won Drag Race and got $100,000,
and here I am in Exeter, at this lovely university,
and she's just sold out Wembley, so thanks."
Bianca's selling out Wembley,
telling the same old tired f****** jokes
we've been hearing for six years now.
That is a talent.
She is running to the bank with it, girl.
Like, isn't it lovely when you can go to one of your, like, friends,
"Oh, yeah, I've just been booked for this."
And then she be like, "Yeah, me too, b****, see you there."
Well, that's a thing, what you were saying before.
Anytime there's, like, a casting for a drag queen in the States...
Oh, you know everyone's going for it.
Especially when they want, like, a black drag queen,
I know it's Shangela, me, Bob and Monique.
Literally every time.
I'm like, "Shan..." I'm just like, "Girrrl!", and she's like,
"Baby, halleloo, I'm sending my audition tape!"
With you on my arm,
the world will believe I've finally found my duchess.
So they've electric...
Surely, they were electric lights. When's this set?
-Did they have electricity? -Oh, are those electric lights?
Look, on the walls!
F****** fairy lights and everything.
They've been to The Range.
She's on a f****** iPad.
Those are candles!
I always think, when they go to these balls,
do they rehearse before they dance?
Because they're all, like, in exact same time, aren't they?
Also, is... who was teaching every...
Like, is there, like, is there a town choreographer
who's like, "All right, this month, the moves are,
'One-two-three, back-two...'"?
Like, who was choreographing this?
She looks quite Keira Knightley-ish,
doesn't she, as well?
-She's Australian, right? -No, she's British.
-No! -Yeah!
Y'all can't have everything. Keira Knightley is Australian.
She's in Love Actually. She does that weird thing with her teeth.
She's like, "Darling!"
You know, I confuse Keira Knightley and Natalie Portman all the time.
Everyone wants to shag Natalie Portman.
Who's everybody?
No, I've mentioned this before.
Do you remember the show The Millionaire Matchmaker?
Yeah, of course.
And she goes, "So who's your ideal woman?"
And they all say Natalie Portman.
Do they?
Like, 80% of the fellas want Natalie Portman.
That's because all of them boys are so damn wonderbread.
They're all cisgender white dudes, like, "Natalie Portman."
Like, mama, get a little spice.
Get you a little Vivienne, get you a little Monét.