WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE ONLY A FEW MONTHS AWAY FROM THE MIDTERM
ELECTIONS, AND AS WITH ANY ELECTION, THE ONE DEMOGRAPHIC
THAT ALWAYS PLAYS A SIGNIFICANT PART ARE THE SO-CALLED
"UNINFORMED VOTERS." THEY'RE THE FOLKS WHO DON'T WATCH THE NEWS
AND DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT'S GOING ON IN
WASHINGTON.
THEY SUFFER FROM A RARE CONDITION KNOWN AS
"HAPPINESS."
BUT THESE LOW-INFORMATION VOTERS HAVE JUST AS MUCH SAY AS ANYONE
ELSE.
SO, I THOUGHT WE SHOULD ENLIST ONE OF THEM TO COVER THIS
ELECTION AS OUR VERY OWN UNIFORMED CORRESPONDENT.
FORTUNATELY, ONE OF MY PRODUCERS, JAKE PLUNKETT, TOLD
ME HE KNEW A VOTER WHO WAS BLISSFULLY UNINFORMED: HIS MOM,
ROBYN.
SO WE SENT JAKE AND ROBYN-- KNOWN BY HER FRIENDS AS
BOOTSIE-- TO COVER A FUNDRAISER FOR CONGRESSIONAL CANDIDATE, MAX
ROSE.
THIS IS "THE LATE SHOW"'S INAUGURAL EDITION OF
"UNINFORMED CORRESPONDENT."
♪ ♪
>> HI >> HAVING NO PREVIOUS TELEVISION
EXPERIENCE, MY MOM HAD QUITE A FEW THINGS TO LEARN...
>> THERE'S A LOT OF (BLEEP) IN HERE.
>> FORTUNATELY, I HAD THE ENTIRE RIDE TO STATEN ISLAND TO PREP
HER.
>> DO YOU LIKE TRUMP?
>> NO.
I JUST CAN'T STAND THE GUY.
I CAN'T.
>> DO YOU LIKE HIS TWEETS?
>> OH, I DON'T GO ON TWIT.
SO I DON'T KNOW.
>> SO, FOR ANYTHING YOU SAY TODAY, I WANT YOU TO SAY
COMPLETE SENTENCES, OKAY?
>> OKAY-- WHY-- I'M NOT?
>> YOU JUST HAVE TO SPEAK IN FULL SOUNDBITES.
>> I DO NOT LIKE DONALD TRUMP.
>> NO, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO SLOW DOWN YOUR SPEECH PATTERNS--
>> YEAH, BUT WHAT'S A SOUNDBITE, JAKE?
COME ON, STOP THE (BLEEP).
EXPLAIN IT, JAKE.
>> I AM.
OKAY, ALL I NEED YOU TO DO IS SAY-- IT'S COMPLETE SENTENCES.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO THEN, LIKE, SPEAK WITH AN ACCENT.
>> I'M NOT SPEAKIN' WITH A FREAKIN' ACCENT.
I'M NOT TALKIN' BRITISH.
(BRITISH ACCENT) I DO NOT LIKE DONALD TRUMP.
>> THAT'S YOUR BRITISH?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT'S THAT FOR?
ME?
>> YES.
YOU WANT-- YOU WANNA GIVE IT A TRIAL?
>> NO.
ALL RIGHT.
♪ ♪ "OOH CHILD" CHILD ♪
♪ THINGS ARE GONNA GET EASIER.
OOH, JAKE, COME ON.
YOU ALWAYS SING IT WITH ME.
STUPID ASS.
♪ ♪
>> MOM MADE IT TO THE CONGRESSIONAL FUNDRAISER AND
WITH COOKIES IN TOW, SHE WAS READY TO REPORT.
>> HI, MY NAME IS BOOTSIE.
I'M HERE WITH "THE LATE SHOW," STEPHEN COLBERT.
>> NO, WITH STEPHEN COLBERT.
>> I'M NOT WITH 'EM!
HI, MY NAME IS BOOTSIE.
I'M HERE WITH THE LATE NIGHT SHOW.
>> LOOK INTO THE CAMERA.
>> SHUT-UP!
>> HI, MY NAME IS BOOTSIE.
I'M HERE WITH THE LATE NIGHT SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT.
IN-- >> NO, "THE LATE SHOW" WITH
STEPHEN COLBERT.
>> I SAID THAT!
WHAT DID I SAY?
>> YOU SAID LATE NIGHT SHOW.
>> I KEEP SAYING LATE NIGHT.
WHAT DOES IT MATTER?
ONE MORE TIME.
HI, MY NAME IS BOOTSIE.
I'M HERE WITH "THE LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT IN STATEN
ISLAND TO TALK POLITICS WITH MAC ROSE.
>> MAX!
>> MAX ROSE.
I KNOW YOU ALL WANT TO KILL ME.
I'M (BLEEP) SORRY MAN.
>> HI, MY NAME IS BOOTSIE.
I'M HERE WITH "THE LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT IN STATEN
ISLAND TO TALK POLITICS WITH MAX ROSE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> I THINK YOU GOT IT.
( LAUGHTER ) >> TO LEARN SOME THINGS ABOUT
THE MIDTERMS, MOM MINGLED WITH POTENTIAL VOTERS AT A FUNDRAISER
FOR MAX ROSE.
>> OKAY, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE MIDTERMS?
>> I AM NOT THAT UP ON THE MIDTERMS.
TALK TO-- >> KRISTI.
UM, THE MIDTERMS.
WELL, I THINK THAT WE ARE GOING TO HAVE, YOU KNOW, HERE ON
STATEN ISLAND WE HAVE HURRICANE SANDY.
>> RIGHT.
>> WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BLUE SANDY, A BLUE WAVE.
>> ALL RIGHT.
I GUESS THAT SUMS IT UP.
I'M GONNA KEEP-- >> NO, IT DOESN'T.
>> YES, IT DOES.
>> JUST (BLEEP) YOU.
WHAT ABOUT NORTH KOREA?
WHO'S THAT WITH THE-- >> KIM JONG-UN.
>> NUCLEAR BOMBS, RIGHT?
JIM SU-SONG.
( LAUGHTER ) WAIT.
WHAT'S HIS NAME?
>> KIM JONG-UN.
( LAUGHTER ) >> I MURDER THE ENGLISH
LANGUAGE!
BUT I KNOW WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY.
SO, DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD BE SCARED OF HIM?
>> NO.
NO, WE DON'T NEED TO BE AFRAID OF CRAZY PEOPLE.
>> YEAH. I'M A LITTLE AFRAID OF THE CRAZIES.
ARE YOU SNOWFLAKES?
>> AM I WHAT?
>> A SNOWFLAKE.
>> A SNOWFLAKE?
>> YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS, RIGHT?
>> I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT IS.
I HOPE THAT MEANS NO.
>> NO, YOU ARE.
YOU'RE A LIBERAL.
>> OH.
>> YOU'RE A SNOWFLAKE.
>> I LIKE SNOWFLAKES.
>> SO DO I.
SO DO I.
I LIKE BEING CALLED A SNOWFLAKE, RIGHT?
SO, WE'RE SNOWFLAKES.
THAT'S RIGHT.
WE'RE ALL SNOWFLAKES.
>> IT WAS FINALLY TIME FOR MY MOTHER TO GRILL CONGRESSIONAL
CANDIDATE, MAX ROSE.
>> HI, THIS IS BOOTSIE FROM THE LATE NIGHT-- UGH.
(BLEEP) I'M SORRY.
SORRY.
( BLEEP ) HI, THIS IS BOOTSIE FROM "THE
LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT AND I AM INTERVIEWING MAX ROSE.
>> HI BOOTSIE.
>> HI MAX.
WHY DOES MITCH MCCONNELL'S FACE ALWAYS LOOK LIKE IT'S MELTING?
>> YOU KNOW WHAT MY ISSUE WITH MITCH IS?
>> WHAT?
>> MY ISSUE WITH MITCH IS THAT HE JUST GAVE AWAY A TRILLION
DOLLARS TO PEOPLE THAT DON'T NEED IT.
>> 34 YEARS I'VE BEEN MARRIED.
WHEN I WENT TO THE SUPERMARKET 34 YEARS AGO, I USED TO COME OUT
OF THE STORE AT 15 BAGS FOR 100 BUCKS.
NOW I COME OUT OF THE STORE AT 12 BAGS FOR 300 BUCKS.
SOMETHIN' GOT TO GIVE.
I'M GETTING NOTHING FOR MY MONEY.
>> WAGES ARE NOT GOIN' UP IN THE WAY THEY SHOULD FOR THE MIDDLE
CLASS.
>> UM, THERE'S THIS SONG I'D LIKE TO SING BECAUSE IT HELPS
US, YOU KNOW, FEEL POSITIVE.
YOU KNOW THAT SONG, "OOH, CHILD?"
>> UH-HUH, I DO.
♪ ♪ OOOH, OOOH CHILD ♪
♪ THINGS ARE GONNA GET EASIER ♪ ♪ OOOH, OOOH CHILD, THINGS WILL
GET BRIGHTER ♪ ♪ SOME DAY, YEAH
WE'LL GET IT TOGETHER ♪ AND WE'LL GET IT ALL DONE
SOME DAY ♪ WHEN YOUR HEAD IS MUCH LIGHTER
OOH-OO CHILD >> ALRIGHT YOU GOTTA SIGN-OFF.
>> UH, THIS IS BOOTSIE WITH THE LATE-- I'D LIKE TO STICK THIS IN
THE SIDE OF MY HEAD.
♪ ALRIGHT, THIS IS BOOTSIE WITH
"THE LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT, BACK TO YOU STEPHEN.
>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY WONDERFUL, SLIGHTLY MORE
INFORMED MOM.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> STEPHEN: THANK YOU, BOOTSIE!
BOOTSIE PLUNKETT, EVERYONE!
♪ OOH-OO CHILD THINGS ARE GONNA GET EASIER
♪ OOH-OO CHILD THINGS'LL GET BRIGHTER