This video is probably gonna be very messy, I'm just warning you.
When are my videos not messy, actually? MAC
So I'm lonely... We're gonna start it just like that.
"How lonely are you Mac?" Extremely lonely, thank you for asking.
Very lonely. It's part of my brand now.
If I ever were to get a boyfriend, people would be like "what's happening??"
"This is gross, unsubscribe."
Lonely McLonelypants, that's my nickname.
Where is this video going?
And according to the media, Disney movies...
Okay, that bird that's really chirping in the background, and other romantic comedies,
Being lonely is a no-go.
Oh my God! Oh my God!!
Lonely spinsters in these movies are always painted as
evil, unforgivable, super ugly, probably old sometimes too.
But overall, extremely lonely.
While everybody else in the movie finds true happiness
by falling in love with somebody else.
So, moral of the story:
Your life is not truly happy until you find your significant other.
Which means I've been living the majority of my life being false happy
while on the inside just slowly turning into an evil purple spinster named Yzma,
all because I don't got a ring on it!!
Hey, police siren. Nobody wants me to make a video today!
You know it's because I'm so lonely. They're like stop.
But you know what? Today, we're going to change that
I am going to find myself a bae.
Today is the day ya boi's gonna find true happiness.
That's right! Today I'm going to get myself a boyfriend!
And not just get myself one... I'm going to GROW a boyfriend.
[laughing loudly]
Today, I'm going to grow myself a p-
weird face looking, quite muscular,
Six-pack abs man...
...who doesn't have a penis...
[long silence]
I'm gonna be right back.
That's right, you know exactly what the fuck this is.
Probably can't see it, because I have to blur it out because YouTube!
I still want some money.
But yes! I got myself a man, got myself some manHOOD,
and now it is time to grow some happiness!
HAPPINESS!!
"Let's not pretend when you grow the perfect friend-" Exactly, me, my brand.
"Drop it in the water-" THE water! There's one of them.
This was obviously not made originally in English. (Heh, what?)
But here we go!
"Place your 'Grow a Boyfriend'" [Uncomfortable laugh]
"Into a glass of water and watch as it grows!" So let's do it!
The water! My man!
Now it's time to grow this bitch!
Honestly, he better grow a bank account too.
Here he is! Oh!
He's so hard! [Silence]
That was a sexual joke, I am a genius!
Woop!
And now, we wait. [Silence, muffled music]
How long do we wait??
"Place 'Grow a Boyfriend' into a glass of water and watch as it grows." Yes?
"Boyfriend will begin to grow after two hours-" oh my gosh
"-and will reach full size in 72 HOURS???"
[Muffled yelling] Why did i think this was going to be instant??
I want a boyfriend now! NOW!!!
Why can't i just have a man now?? Why do I gotta wait 72 hours?
Why can't nothing be instant anymore?
I'm a millennial, I need things NOW, I can't wait!
[Sigh] Well, I guess I'll see you in three goddamn days.
Haha, what?
Later... [Mac jamming to Ke$ha]
Eventually... [Mac continues to jam to Ke$ha]
[Static, silence]
Well, it's been over 72 hours
Matter of fact, it's been an entire week. [Laugh]
Long story short, I was waiting 72 hours
Then my sister came over the day I was going to film the second part!
Then I went to Sacramento for a few days, for a friend's birthday.
But now I'm back. It is Monday of the next week!
And boy, do I have a mess to show you.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Oh my God, I'm so nervous [Laugh]
I never thought I'll be showing this person on camera in front of you guys.
okay, okay, okay, here we go. We're just gonna- we're just gonna do it
We're gonna go for it. [Sighs] Are you ready? Cause I'm ready.
Ladies and gentlemen I proudly present to you...
My boyfriend! [Laughs] He's so cute, right guys?
[Cooing that sounds like an animal in pain] ...you know you are... You like it when I call you that.
Look at him! Wow!
He's really slimy! And here he is!! Wow!
The exact size of a boyfriend I've always wanted.
As you can see, his limbs are not equally proportioned.
You know, this just makes it easier for...
I was gonna say something NASTY.
And there go the abs... not really abs any more.
A lot of very... gross-looking clear gel.
So much gel... Why are you wearing so much gel?
Are you from New Jersey?
There's a crack in his pants... for easy access.
Is he filled with water or did he just grow in it? How did it work?
How... What did he eat? What was his workout regimen?
I don't trust this. I don't. Trust. This.
This witchcraft! God did not approve of this!
The Lord said no to this!
DJ Khaled doesn't want you to use this! That's sayin' something!
So gross! It's so gross!
I mean you're cute, you're beautiful, oh my gosh you're the best boyfriend ever!!
You know what I should do? We should go on a date- Oh my God!!
[Silence]
Hello, boyfriend that's always been my boyfriend since the beginning of this video that's not a different color or anything.
Such a fine date you have put me on...
I love the place you picked...
My living room!
You are a man with money!
So what are we doing on this fine date? ...hello?
[Gags] Oh! [Gags] Why am I gagging! Why am I gagging!?
This one had some troubles in that water.
It's okay, I love you anyways.
Oh! Well, nope, maybe not.
Oh my God, Boyfriend that has always been my boyfriend since the beginning of this video,
and nobody can tell me otherwise, not even DJ Khaled, you are sooo funny...
with that joke you just said... about [silence] the blues?
What should I do with my boyfriend?
Oh my gosh, let me tweet this out!
"Eat him." I'll save that for another video on a different website.
"Realize that he isn't real." How dare you? He is as real as real men get!
Do you see this face?? Do you see these abs? That's a real man to me!
My voice is cracking a lot, don't judge it. I'm having throat issues.
"Sing High School Musical together!" Ooh!
What time is it? [Silence]
[Quietly] Summertime...
It's a vacation, yeah!
This can be the start- [Silence]
Of something new! HELLO!?!?!
"Suck his meat" I think he's made of sponge?
"Nothing, he isn't real." Wow! People out here really wanna fight!
People out here don't wanna respect me and my boyfriend.
This is my boyfriend, you gotta get used t- oh my God.
This is my boyfriend. Yes, he's my boyfriend, it's 2017, stop being intolerant
The Boyfriend tag? Oh, you wanna do the boyfriend tag, babe?
[Silence] ...hello?
Where's your nose??
Okay boyfriend tag here we go.
"What is the place when you saw me for the first time?" Online, mainly Amazon.
"Can you tell me who said 'I love you' first between both of us?" Neither.
"What are three things I really need in my everyday life?" These are stupid questions!
"Which food item I do not like to eat?" You don't eat!
"Which is the color I have most in my wardrobe?" I'm just gonna throw it out there and guess pink.
"What are the things I'm good at?" Growing in water.
There's 150 questions in this tag? Who has the time???
Forget that, it's over. We're done, we're done with that.
I don't know how you feel about us by now-
[Silence] What? [silence] Where you going?
[Laughing] Wait a minute! I grew a dick!
I so would!
Guys, I'm on medication right now, I totally forgot about this.
Why did I grow a penis?
And on that note, I think I'm gonna end this video!
Thank you guys so much for watching!
How would you grow your boyfriend? Comment down below!
Anyways, I'm gonna go try and build a computer now.
My name is Mac, and don't forget to like, comment, share, and sub-scree-bay. Bwaaah!
[Exit music]