♪ (CHILL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
This is it, Denise.
Your 75th hip-hop dance audition.
No call-backs!
Today, we make history.
History?
Brick House is here to shake some ass
and get famous.
Yes!
Kitty Kitty Boom Boom is here!
Now, dancers!
My choreography
to the number one rapper, Little Plea Deal's "Opus,"
pussies poppin', bodies droppin',
requires you to bring your best.
'Cause if you don't walk up out of here
with a herniated disk,
you ain't dancing hard enough!
You gotta pop, lock, and... drop dead.
From the top!
Girl, if you ain't doing the nay-nay,
put your hand down.
Miss Kitty Kitty Boom Boom?
Ever since I was a little girl,
I dreamed that my dancing would change the world.
So, if you could just give me my motivation
for this piece, I promise you that
I will soar.
-Your motivation... -Yes?
...is to grab your pussy.
-Grab it. -Then, grab your titties.
And do it for the kitty.
-All right? -Yes!
-You got it, ladies? -Got it.
Hey, yo, Daddy's home.
(EXCITED SCREAMING)
How you doin'?
I love when bitches get excited. What's up?
What's up, what's up, what's up?
Shut the fuck up!
Now, look. I'm just a regular
billionaire rapper. I'm just like you.
Just got anger issues and shit.
I don't want none of y'all to be nervous or nothing.
Okay? Just picture everybody in the room naked.
Being soaked in a barrel of acid
so we won't find their bodies.
Thank you for that motivation, Mr. Deal.
Yeah, you're welcome, sweetie.
Brick House don't motivate with words.
She motivate with ass.
I like that. Cool.
Okay, ladies. Let's go from the top
and show Mr. Deal what we've been working on.
Cue the music!
Five, six, seven, eight!
And jump and down.
Get it. Yeah, walk it. Get it up.
-Yeah, yeah. -Walk and twirl it around.
And knee, knee, knee, knee.
Throw it back. Throw it forward.
-Throw it back-- -I would have sex with you.
Yes, I would.
KITTY KITTY BOOM BOOM: Pop that pussy.
Smooth it out, smooth it out.
Fight that bitch in the face.
Cut the music!
Just call me lint, because I am in the pocket.
No, the "boom" is not cocking.
And the ass cheeks are not clapping.
Nah, nah, nah, nah. She cool.
What?
Thank you, Mr. Deal.
Now that I know who you are,
I love you so much! (GIGGLES)
You're too kind, ho.
You keep talking to me like that,
you might be my next leading lady-slash-alibi.
No way!
Brick House been practiced in her perjury
and pussy pop!
Less talking and more twerking.
Cue the music!
This is your moment, Denise.
KITTY KITTY: What do you want to see, Little Plea Deal?
Man, I ain't really feeling most of these bitches.
I like her and I like her.
I want to see them together.
Brick House and Chocolate Nutcracker.
To the center. It's a dance off!
Brick House.
♪ (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
DANCERS: Hey, hey!
Nice jiggle.
Misty Nope-land, let's see it!
Pop that pussy for a real one.
Oh, okay. It's a little jiggle.
It's a little jiggle.
It's just enough.
Well, you better bring something.
My sugar daddy taught me this.
(DANCERS CHEERING)
Hey, no. Cut the music.
That's right.
Hey, yo, Easter tights.
You're perfect, ma.
What's that thing you're doing called?
-Her? -It's called an assemble.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, you're talking ass play now?
(GIGGLES)
You can play with my ass.
-Yeah, a'ight. -It's fun...
You got a getaway car?
No, but I've got a Razor scooter.
Listen, I love the way you move.
You're on that new shit.
It's actually very old.
-Kitty Kitty? -Yes?
Play something sexy
before I kill you and your whole family.
Ain't no thing. They're already all dead.
My mom, my granny, my brother.
Even my cat, Senor Whiskers, all died in a cyclone.
My ass can make a cyclone.
Brick House! You're embarrassing yourself.
Cue the music!
-You ready to shine? -Yes.
♪ (R&B MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
Yeah, I like you.
Oh, you're making me dizzy.
Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.
All she's doing is spinning around in circles.
You know, I did something like this in 1998
in a Broadway play,
I would have choreographed that
if I knew you wanted it.
Turn around. Bend over.
Now, let me see something. Come back up.
Oh, I like how it looking.
Lean on me, baby. Lean on me for support.
That's just a soutenu.
I like soup too!
You're so delicate.
You're like if a daisy had eyeballs.
Oh, my God.
If this is what you like...
-I love this. -BRICK HOUSE: Love?
Sweetheart, come up. Come here.
You don't belong on the floor.
You're a queen.
Keep your head up.
Put this on my books.
But... you're not in jail.
Not yet.
My bulletproof Tahoe awaits.
Is that my payment?
LITTLE PLEA DEAL: Yeah, let's get out of here, mami,
I wanna see you walk one more time.
I love to watch you leave, girl.
I love to watch you leave.
By the way, none of you bitches is hot,
and that shit was weak.
That's it!
Brick House's going back to scamming n*****
on Instagram.
That yellow motherfucker didn't pay me!