- Hey playa.
Are you in middle school and you're not really sure
whether or not you should be dating someone?
Well, that's the question that deathgarden asked me
when he said, "Josh, can you make a video
"about is it worth dating in middle school or high school?"
So I'm gonna focus on middle school in this video,
but I do wanna answer the question
and I wanna let you know what I think right after this.
♪ This is ♪
♪ The Josh Speaks ♪
♪ You're watching ♪
♪ The Josh Speaks ♪
- For those of you that are new here,
my name is Josh, and every single Monday through Friday,
I make videos sharing tips, ideas, and stories
teaching you how to be your best self.
And I think the idea of whether or not you should date
in middle school is a very pressing question
for people that are in middle school.
So let's tackle it.
Speaking from my own personal experience,
I didn't really start dating someone
until I was in high school.
When I was in middle school, there were girls
that I liked and talked to,
but I never really started going out with anyone.
I think there are a few things you have to look at
when it comes to dating someone in middle school,
but I think one of the biggest ones is is it gonna interfere
with your schoolwork?
I know, I know.
You're probably brushing it off thinking,
yes it's not gonna interfere with my schoolwork.
I'm gonna be fine.
I just want a girlfriend or boyfriend.
But you really have to think about that
and ask yourself, will you have the time to dedicate
to someone else and be able to manage all your schoolwork?
There's going to be times where you're gonna have lots
of homework, and tests to study for, and things to do,
and you probably won't have all the free time
that you want to talk to that person you'll be dating.
Not to mention, if you do any kind
of after school activities like play sports,
you're in a band, or you just do something after school
that you won't be able to have that free time for.
Being in a middle school relationship
is probably gonna require you to talk
to that person every single day, whether it's
in school, on Snapchat, or Instagram.
So if you don't think you're gonna have the free time
to be able to communicate with them regularly,
then I would probably avoid it for now.
Another factor that can really influence
whether or not you should be dating
in middle school is what your friends are doing
or the people around you.
Are they already dating?
And if they are, that might cause you
to feel a pressure to do it too.
I've gotten a ton of messages from middle schoolers
telling me, hey, my friend's already dating,
should I be dating?
Everyone feels like they need
to be comparable to someone else.
And no one ever wants to feel
like they're the oddball left out
and they're the only one who can't get someone to date.
While it may seem cool to have you
and all your friends have girlfriends,
if you're the only one who doesn't have a girlfriend,
don't allow people to make fun of you for it.
It's totally okay to not date someone in middle school.
You shouldn't have to be subjected
to peer pressure like that.
If you're a guy in middle school,
people might take to the insult to call you gay
and say that you can't even get a girlfriend.
Don't listen to anyone.
People are just trying to get inside your head
to mess with you.
You know what you want.
You know what's best for you.
Follow that.
And if you're a girl that's not dating anyone,
people might tend to call you a prude
and say, look, she can't even get a guy,
or she's too nervous or scared to get a guy.
Same advice there.
Don't listen to people.
People are just gonna try to rattle you up.
Do what's best for you, and you know what that is.
Now all of this is not to say that it's wrong
or that you shouldn't be dating in middle school.
If you wanna date someone, go right ahead.
That is awesome.
There are a lot of benefits to dating someone
in middle school, which I wanna go over with you.
First and foremost, you have someone to talk to,
someone to open up to, and someone to connect with.
Yes, you probably have your friends,
but having a boyfriend or girlfriend here
can be a little different.
You can probably share things with them
that you maybe don't wanna share
or you don't feel comfortable sharing with your friends.
I know a lot of middle school relationships
don't really get that deep.
Maybe you guys are just surface-level boyfriend
or girlfriend, maybe you just want the title,
or maybe you just like the idea
of having a boyfriend or girlfriend.
But see this as an opportunity to connect with someone,
to learn more about them, and to share things
about yourself as well.
I know there's a lot of you out there
that are dating someone, but you probably never spend time
with them 'cause they're always with their friends,
and you've probably never talked to them
'cause you're too shy to do it.
In those situations, the boyfriend
or girlfriend title is just that.
It's just a title.
If you really want it to mean something,
you need to approach them and talk to them.
Even if they're with their friends,
I've done videos on how to talk to your crush
in front of their friends.
You need to take that first step.
I know it's scary and it's easier said than done,
but it is possible.
If you do want to start dating in middle school,
don't allow fear to be the thing that holds you back.
You can overcome that.
I know you have it in you.
What do you think though?
Are you in middle school and you're starting to think
whether or not you should date?
Leave your comments below and we'll talk about it.
Thank you so much for watching this video.
Before you go, I do wanna share something with you.
If you have a question you want to talk to me
in private about, you can always shoot me a message
over on Snapchat or Instagram.
I do my best to answer every DM that I get.
Also, make sure to check out the videos I have listed
over there on the side.
I'm gonna link up a bunch of different middle school videos
to help you kind of work through these times
to figure out whether or not you should be dating,
how to do better in school, how to make friends,
all those different things you may be struggling
with will be over there on the side.
Check 'em out, and I will see you guys soon.
As always, love and peace.